1 Chapter Read for Read with Feedback

Looking to share my honest thoughts on stories’ first chapters. I will share my reaction to lines, suggestions if you would like some, and maybe I’ll leave a joke as well, but don’t get your hopes up with the joke part.

Please post the link to your story and wait to be accepted before proceeding with the payment. This is to avoid encumbering from too many posts.

Payment: A thought on my short story, suggestion, or a point-out of something you liked or disliked.


Night of the Blood Moon


I am still looking for more feedback on this one.

I’ll start on it right away :slight_smile:

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Alright I’ll do the same ^^

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You already commented on it in your thread, so you don’t have to xD

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It’s cool, I had fun reading it again lol



The Unexpected Scourge of Vibrant-Looking Skin

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/194194926-the-unexpected-scourge-of-vibrant-looking-skin

High fantasy, adventure if you’re up for it.

Can it not be the first chapter? I seriously need feedback for later ones. The story is still follow-able. It’s about a new character.

The chapter in question:

Title: The Lost City of Al-Kimiya
Genre: Fantasy/Mystery
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/766979064-the-lost-city-of-al-kimiya-james-the-heist

Please let me know if I’m accepted and I’ll get started on your short story.


question: would you be willing to read / critique a second chapter rather than a first? I can give context for the plot.