A Bitch's Free Honest Review and Friendship(Re-Opened)

writing
question
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critiques

#202

Why pathetic?


#203

Cuz no one’s looking at my review, not even the ones who asked for it… Oh well. :frowning:


#204

Most people do it for the reads. Some do it for the reviews though. I think everyone I’ve reviewed has commented back besides maybe two


#205

Well, aren’t they very confident if they asked for a review just for the reads. And I’m still hoping they’d reply or else I’m gonna be very sad.


#206

I. Understand you put all that work into the review and get no reply it’s frustrating.


#207

Yea. I felt bad earlier for ignoring this thread for 7 days. That’s why I’m doing a lot of reviews right now to make up for it. But sigh. I guess nobody’s online yet.


#208

Give it time they might be in a different time. Zone


#209

Thanks, abby :slight_smile:


#210

You’re welcome.


#211

I’MMA RESUME TOMORROW GUYS. BYE!!! <3


#212

DISCLAIMER: Please do keep in mind that these are my opinions and please don’t take it to heart. You may take my suggestions or you don’t and that’s fine. I only aim to help you improve your book and reach success. Because with writers like us, with no paid editors, we only have each other.
:
:
THE FINAL REVIEW FOR @ValerieJackson2003’s DRAGON RIDER IN THE MODERN WORLD
Stopped at Chapter 3

I will start with the cover… I sincerely think that you need a new cover. Because right now your book title seems like your author name is the title of your story. You also can’t really the dragon there that much. So I sincerely suggest you get a new book cover. I think your blurb also needs a bit of changing. It just gives away too much of your story. I suggest you make it a lot vaguer. Maybe let the readers know that she found an egg in the forest one day that changed her whole life? It’s vague but still a lot correlated to what your story is.

Now on to the story. Your description skills are very good. The way you described the dragon was beautiful. The premise of your story is also really good. The prospect of a modern-age girl trying to control a growing dragon. In a city where it’s literally called the city that never sleeps is a very entertaining notion.

But I do feel like the pacing of the story itself is rushed. She accepted it so readily when a normal reaction would be someone screaming or panics and freaks out. It makes your story unrealistic and also I don’t really like the part where you mention another dragon story out of nowhere. It doesn’t match the flow of the paragraph. It’ll also be too obvious where you got your inspiration from and a lot of fans may get nitpicky with your story so I would be careful about that. I also suggest not to address your readers directly when you’re focusing on your MC’s thoughts. It’s confusing for the readers to read that unless your book is focused on comedy, I suggest not to break the 4th wall so much.

There are typographical errors, run-ons sentences, capitalization errors, and punctuation errors as well.

SCORE: 3.3/5
Don’t be disheartened okay? I’m sure the rewrite would be amazing. My story needs a lot of revision as well. Please take this as a chance to improve. I apologize in advance if this offends you.


#213

Thanks. I do recognize some of these things from other reviews, but i want to focus on finishing before i rewrite and correct everything. You say that you hope I’m not offended, and seriously, I’m not. I appreciate thorough reviews that are completely honest. They are what make me grow as a writer and improve


#214

You replied T_T Thank you for looking at my review.
I’m actually the same. I will focus more on finishing my story first before re-writing/edited. It’s already in the process of being edited in a separate file.


#215

Of course I replied. Reviews like this are infinitely valuable to me. Even more than reads.


#216

Thank you… the past three haven’t replied at all.


#217

That is so sad.


#218

It’s okay. You replied! So I’m happy about that.


#219

I looove your reviews! :orange_heart:


#220

Thank youuuuu. Wait for meeee


#221

I am sooo patient I can wait! :angel: