A Bitch's Free Honest Review and Friendship(Re-Opened)

writing
question
feedback-offered
critiques

#242

hey its @notintheoven. I changed the book title to my book its now, Lost Without You. everything is still the same its only the title that changed.


#243

If this is still open, I would love some feedback on my story (if you enjoy reading it, feel free to keep on reading!)

Title: The Legend of the Moonflower Princess
Synopsis: A young woman must rescue her adopted younger brother from a mad sorcerer
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/659085416-the-legend-of-the-moonflower-princess-where-the


#244

HEY GUYS I’M BACK AFTER SUCH A LONG HIATUS. I’M GOING TO START THIS REVIEW THREAD BACK-UP AGAIN. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT.
I LOVE ALL OF YOU.


#245

Welcome back!


#246

DISCLAIMER: Please do keep in mind that these are my opinions and please don’t take it to heart. You may take my suggestions or you don’t and that’s fine. I only aim to help you improve your book and reach success. Because with writers like us, with no paid editors, we only have each other.
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FINAL REVIEW FOR @Crysta_Levere’s VITALITY
Stopped at Chapter 3

COVER
Let’s talk about the cover. I feel like it can be better especially with the way you write. For me personally, the cover should have a sort of dreamy feel to it? Because it showcases your writing style better. There are a lot of people who do free covers here on wattpad. They’re all pretty nice and I’m sure you’ll find “the one” cover for you.

BLURB
All I can say about this is wow. The blurb is amazing. It hooked me, which is the entire reason for using a blurb. You did it right. Although it can still be improved so that it can flow a lot better and take away all the unnecessary details on the blurb but other than that, it’s amazing.

STORY
I absolutely love the way you incorporated the pictures and the videos to your story. Usually, I find it annoying and useless, but not in your case. So kudos to that.

You are such an amazing writer. Your story is riveting and your writing is elegance personified. Your story is amazing.

But it got a little too hard for me to read after awhile. Not because of your writing, but because of the story flow. It’s kind of hard to understand what’s happening because so vague and the idea is everywhere. At least for me, you should present a foundation of what your story is going for at the second or third chapter. Your descriptive skills are amazing but it kind of got too much for me at some points. There was too much input and I feel detached to your story because of it. I would want the story to be less descriptive at some points and maybe lessen using such extravagant words? Remember that simplicity is best when trying to convey a story. You don’t have to use big words on small actions.

Your grammar was spot-on based on what I’ve read. Other than the things I pointed out above, I would definitely recommend this story. I already added it to my personal reading list.

SCORE: 3.7/5
Please take this as a chance to improve. I apologize in advance if this offends you.


#247

Thank you!


#248

DISCLAIMER: Please do keep in mind that these are my opinions and please don’t take it to heart. You may take my suggestions or you don’t and that’s fine. I only aim to help you improve your book and reach success. Because with writers like us, with no paid editors, we only have each other.
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FINAL REVIEW FOR @AliceHausling 's THE ROMANCING OF TUESDAY DENNINGS
Stopped at Chapter 1

COVER
I love the cover. It perfectly matches the tone of the book. Of course are always an option for improvement. May I suggest the threads here on wattpad for free covers? I got my own cover here and it’s amazing. I’m sure there would be someone who would be willing to take your cover and make it better.

BLURB
Your blurb for me is perfect. It’s vague enough to capture the attention of the readers and yet it gives out the gist of what your story would be like. It already set the tone of the story. I absolutely love it.

STORY
When I first read the first paragraph, I knew that this was going to be amazing. It was engaging and the banter between the two are entertaining to read. Your incorporation of the pictures at the end of each letter is witty and I can’t help but notice how organized your author’s note is at the end. I should take notes from you.

One thing, though, as much I love your book. I’ve read a little of chapter 2 and I noticed that the two characters have the same voice. The have the same writing style as each other. It’s a kind of inconsistency that slightly bothers me because you told the readers earlier on that he doesn’t read that much but he sounds exactly the same as the writer. I don’t know if it’s on purpose so please correct me if it is.

You’re such an amazing writer and I hope to be a great of a writer as you. I don’t think I can correct your grammar because I think you’re better at writing than I am.

SCORE: 4.5/5
Please take this as a chance to improve. I apologize in advance if any of this offends you .


#249

Thank you so much! So glad you got a chance to read it, much appreciated. I had a question for you, if that’s ok, but it actually might embarrass another member so if you don’t mind, I was gonna send you a quick PM.


#250

Go on ahead and pm me. I’m about to go to sleep but one conversation wouldn’t hurt :slight_smile:


#251

I might just answer when I wake up. Good night, Alice. Just pm me your question :slight_smile:


#252

No worries! I did. It wasn’t urgent or anything. :stuck_out_tongue: talk later!


#253

DISCLAIMER: Please do keep in mind that these are my opinions and please don’t take it to heart. You may take my suggestions or you don’t and that’s fine. I only aim to help you improve your book and reach success. Because with writers like us, with no paid editors, we only have each other.
:
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FINAL REVIEW FOR @AnneMcKae 's HAUNTED RAYNE
Stopped at Chapter 3

COVER
The cover is flipping amazing! It captures the theme of your book so accurately and it catches the eye of any new reader that finds your book! Perfect! Kudos to you and your cover editor!

BLURB
The blurb was also perfect. Like when I read it, I was like… “Why do you need me to review this?” It captures the attention of the readers right of the bat. It’s just amazing!

STORY
The story itself has a great premise. It’s different from the usual crap I see here on Wattpad (mine included, nudge nudge). I love how you incorporated pictures in your story and it made the whole page more aesthetic looking, which is nice to see. I love the banter between your characters in Chapter 2. It feels natural and it’s very entertaining to read. I also love your writing style. It matches perfectly with the type of vibe that you’re going for in the story. There were some parts where the words feel kind of forced? Like there’s a simpler way of putting. Just as I said before, simplicity is best when you’re trying to convey a story.

Although horror is not my cup of tea(because I have an overimaginative brain that sees things in the dark just because of what I’ve read), I will definitely take a chance and read your story. I’m so curious about that guy with the icy blue eyes. I have to keep reading. I absolutely adore Portia, btw. That confidence is something that I want personally.

Your story’s vibe kind of reminds me of Fallen by Lauren Kate but better and less cringy. Would definitely recommend it to my friends. I already added it to my personal reading list.

SCORE: 4.7/5
Please take this as a chance to improve. I apologize in advance if any of this offends you.


#254

Look at this banner I made xD


It’s simple but I like it.


#255

oooh cute :heart:


#256

Thank you! Wasn’t sure of the font style but it worked out pretty well.


#257

Here’s my book :blush:

Title: Undercover Love
Synopsis: Agent Hale, undercover agent, has been working with the force since she was 18, with the passion to live up to her father’s expectations.
And the moment comes when fate comes knocking on her door: University.
Paired with a criminal, stony-faced Isabella Hale is forced to cope with Alex Harrison, who always has a smile on his face to hide the sadness behind it.
The two put their differences aside for the case, and after spending time together, they realize they’re both broken.
And maybe, they can fix each other.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/129442676-undercover-love

As for the review, you can just pm me. Thank you! <3


#258

yep. sometimes simple is best :ok_hand:


#259


#260

OMG REALLY? thank youuuu :heart:


#261

Heyy! :smile:
I would like some honest opinion of my story, Blind Soul :blush:
I don’t know if you love teen fiction and that stuff, but I love to hear some honest opinion.
Be mean if you must, hahahaha :joy:

Title: Blind Soul
Synopsis: Virginia, popular girl, always surrounded by friends, boys and happiness, becomes a girl who’s struggling to be alone, without anyone.
Little odd? Yes.
And then she met that cocky, annoying as hell bastard, who only think about himself and sex.
But, they have one thing in common. They are both selfish.
And when you find a person who is similar to you, you only have two options.
To fall in love or to kill him.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/171008356-blind-soul

Thanks in advance :grin: