A Bitch's Free Honest Review and Friendship(Re-Opened)

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#21

Hm. By the time you get to my story, my new part could be posted(edititng is allmost done)…and there is a good explanations in act 2, making al lthis more undestandable(explaining game mechanics with no solid canon is hard). So, think about reading it all (it’s all up to you)


#22

Dang it. Stop making me curious and excited about it! Wait in line xD


#23

Title: Zeitgeist

Synopsis: Aaliyah Zarren’s job is in trouble.

After a mysterious scandal puts her public relations’ firm on edge, Aaliyah is one step closer to becoming unemployed.

Octavio Castellano makes a horrible decision.

Ever since he was betrayed in his last relationship, Octavio is sick and tired of deceit. He begins to question everything he’s known as he harbors the loss of identity, but gains the desire for revenge and lust.

When they realize that they need each other for their jobs, the lines between their careers and personal lives are blurred to a point of no return.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/147940108-zeitgeist

If I’m accepted, could it be sent through PM?


#24

The line is [contemporary speech mode enabled] F*** IRRELEVANT! [contemporary speech mode disabled]. Presented observations must be prioritised for optimal data gathering and analysing to ensure proper calculation of further development
Sometimes I can’t resist to act as one of Characters)


#25

Accepted and noted! Please track this thread to know which book I am currently reviewing.


#26

Accepted and Now In Wait List

  1. crystallcise - Of Solar and Dark
  2. SentryCod - The Last Sophian
  3. SlightlyBlack - Challenge Accepted
  4. Spruce_Goose - The Factory Girl
  5. NoLazyShadow - Fragmented Echoes
  6. @GhostsInsideOfMyBed - Zeitgeist

#27

This is awesome!

Title: Airborn

Synopsis: Deep within the earths forgotten past, in a dimension different from ours, lies a story of the Airborn. Airborn are the winged people that ruled the skies. They once lived in harmony with the humans until a cruel human king came into rule causing havoc upon the Airborn and sent them into hiding far over the sea of sand where no one dared to travel. Centuries later generations have passed for both the humans and the Airborn. Both of them considers the other a myth. Beings that never existed. What happens when a prophecy causes their two worlds to meet again?

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/146037178-airborn

Thank you!


#28

Accepted and Now In Wait List

  1. crystallcise - Of Solar and Dark
  2. SentryCod - The Last Sophian
  3. SlightlyBlack - Challenge Accepted
  4. Spruce_Goose - The Factory Girl
  5. NoLazyShadow - Fragmented Echoes
  6. GhostsInsideOfMyBed - Zeitgeist
  7. @CatharsisKingdom - Airborn

Please track this thread to know which book I am currently reviewing. And @CatharsisKingdom, would you like your review pm’ed, commented on your story or tagged here? :slight_smile:


#29

Title: Handwritten Poems
Synopsis: Lexi is a broken-hearted girl who is trying to find her way in this dark and twisted world with the help of poetry
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/164997855-handwritten-poems

You can comment on the third chapter of my book.


#30

Noted! Adding you to the list! :slight_smile:


#31

Accepted and Now In Wait List

  1. crystallcise - Of Solar and Dark
  2. SentryCod - The Last Sophian
  3. SlightlyBlack - Challenge Accepted
  4. Spruce_Goose - The Factory Girl
  5. NoLazyShadow - Fragmented Echoes
  6. GhostsInsideOfMyBed - Zeitgeist
  7. CatharsisKingdom - Airborn
  8. @TockAC - Handwritten Poems

Please track this thread to know which book I am currently reviewing.


#32

Title: A Celestial Requiem
Synopsis: “A Celestial Requiem” tells the story of a young woman, Mingxia, who lives in Shangzihua, an impoverished village that lies on the outskirts of Wuzhen. Ever since she was a child, she was exposed to the villagers’ hostility. They knew she wasn’t human and they were fearful of her capabilities.

Mingxia tries to quietly live out her life in the shadows as an herbalist, but fate won’t allow her. She’s tormented with dreams of a mysterious woman and a prophecy that she is expected to fulfill. To make matters even more complicated, the Crown Prince enters her life and she can’t help but feel a strong, unbreakable connection to him. Mingxia must wrestle with her feelings for the Crown Prince all while coming to terms with a prophecy that could jeopardize the future of the realm of Naestrirea.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/161267751-a-celestial-requiem-secrets-of-tarot-book-i

Thanks for reviewing my request!


#33

Accepted :slight_smile:


#34

Accepted and Now In Wait List

  1. crystallcise - Of Solar and Dark
  2. SentryCod - The Last Sophian
  3. SlightlyBlack - Challenge Accepted
  4. Spruce_Goose - The Factory Girl
  5. NoLazyShadow - Fragmented Echoes
  6. GhostsInsideOfMyBed - Zeitgeist
  7. CatharsisKingdom - Airborn
  8. TockAC - Handwritten Poems
  9. @LuliWrites - A Celestial Requiem

#35

Thank you ^^


#36

Remember to keep track of this thread for you to know which book on the list I’m currently reviewing! :slight_smile:


#37

Will do :slight_smile:


#38

Currently Reviewing
@crystaIIise - Of Solar and Dark

Accepted and Now In Wait List

  1. SentryCod - The Last Sophian
  2. SlightlyBlack - Challenge Accepted
  3. Spruce_Goose - The Factory Girl
  4. NoLazyShadow - Fragmented Echoes
  5. GhostsInsideOfMyBed - Zeitgeist
  6. CatharsisKingdom - Airborn
  7. TockAC - Handwritten Poems
  8. LuliWrites - A Celestial Requiem

#39

Title: Leopard: The Unforgiving

Eleanor Tellen was given advanced strength and healing by the US military, returning to her hometown seeing the streets covered in corruption. A crime lord only known as The Boss has the people by the pockets and politics are his evening game. To defeat these evils, Eleanor, must become someone else, A composer by day, Leopard by night.

Link: https://my.w.tt/6xhCZP8gaS


#40

Final Review of Of Solar and Dark by @crystaIIise
Read the prologue till the third chapter

Okay I want to say what I liked about the story. I thought the premise of the story was good. The whole idea of Solar Power versus Dark Power is nice and has potential to built up as an amazing world. The opening of sentence of the prologue is also really good. It got me hooked for a second there and I went like “Oh. Nicely done there, girly.” And I liked the fact that you showcased the two main characters having such vulnerabilities. Plus points that the desired main couple is both guys. Representing the LGBTQ Community, that’s amazing!

But…
I found it harder to read when I noticed that you tend to use unnecessary descriptions for their the characters’ actions. There are simpler ways to format the sentences to make it shorter and easier to understand. You also tend to use hyperbole a lot with their feelings and it would take away the emotional connection to the readers because they wouldn’t relate. There were some punctuation and grammatical errors as well.

Overall, it was nice story with original plot line and a new world. I would suggest simplifying some the paragraphs and the sentences that are used to describe what they’re feeling. Of course, make sure to review and proofread your story for any simple grammatical and punctuation errors. I would also suggest on investing on the world-building of your story because it’s such a high fantasy type of book.

Score: 3.5/5