A Bitch's Free Honest Review and Friendship(Re-Opened)

writing
question
feedback-offered
critiques

#101

Noted! :slight_smile: You’re accepted but on the wait list. There’s still a lot for me to review :slight_smile:


#102

Title: Reaper

Synopsis: Evelyn (Evie) Stone has died.
But, that’s not the worst part.

After being shot in the head by a gunman at the bar on 42nd street, Evie wakes up to her dead life. Her reaper won’t let her cross over and she’s having the darnedest time making friends. Just when she’s about to tip over the lonely scale, she hears a voice down an alley outside of Fenway Park.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/305270636-reaper-1

Tagged here is fine and thank you so much!


#103

Title: 12:01

Synopsis: The squeal of tires trying to avoid the accident.
A crash as the windshield shattered.
A scream of horror from the right and back.
The thumping of two hearts instead of three.

Every night for three months, at 12:01 Addison is held captive by her own mind, hoping for an escape of fear.

Link: click


#104

I will totally read your chapters if you read mine! & let’s be friends :tired_face:


#105

Hey guys. I’m sorry for the delay of the reviews! I promise it will resume again in about 10 hours or when I’ve woken up.


#106

FINAL REVIEW FOR @GhostsInsideOfMyBed - ZEITGEIST
Read until Chapter 3

I honestly again don’t know what to say with this story. It’s a already perfect in it self. With just three chapters, you got me hooked in your story. I wanted to read more and then I saw it’s still on-going and you guys already know that I don’t really read stories until they’ve been completed. So I’m going to be patient. I already added it to my I Am Waiting Bitches Reading List.

Although one thing that I would suggest is improving your blurb. Although this is my personal opinion, but to me it’s a little awkward to read? Like the whole blurb didn’t really flow right to me and it didn’t attract as much your book cover did.

SCORES:
Cover = 5/5
Blurb = 4/5
Story = 5/5

Will definitely recommend it to anyone I know who reads books. I’m excited for your future success! Thanks for letting me review your book!


#107

Do you do poetry?


#108

Well if you do:
Title: Poems forged with lightning
Synopsis: You can’t really describe a bunch of poems together…
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/167879126-poems-forged-with-lightning-tqa2k18


#109

Thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoyed and I really hope you can wait xD


#110

I would really appreciate feedback.

Title- The Bad Boy and Me

Sypnosis- When Violet Adams enrolls into a new school in California, due to her dad’s new job offering, glad she can start a new life and no more drama especially away from her old high school but will her past catch up to her?

But then she meets her schools’ bad boy…

Link- https://www.wattpad.com/story/164696389-the-bad-boy-and-me


#112

THX SIS!!! It is a hot mess and I need all the help I can get lmao. I will do the same for you, ofc!! If you could PM me your thoughts that’d be awesome!!! Love the positivity :slight_smile:


#113

FINAL REVIEW FOR @CatharsisKingdom’s AIRBORN
Stopped reading at Chapter 3
Please do remember that this is just my opinion. You do not need to take me seriously if you don’t want to :slight_smile:

I love the premise of the story. It’s original and it’s a different take on angels. I love the unique name you gave your MC, Bremira sounds really cool and unique. The relationship between your MC and Samuel is really cute as well. The prologue is really good as well. Captured my attention because it gave enough information to let the readers know what the history was, what type of story its gonna be. But it was vague enough for the readers to be curious as well. So good job for that. The book cover is amazing. It captures the attention of the potential readers and make them read the blurb.

Now for the gritty stuff…

The blurb gave too much of your MC’s history away. Make it a lot vaguer. Because you basically repeated the blurb on your prologue. You can maybe start of by saying: “Bremira Storm was an orphan and an Airborn.” This could hook your readers immediately. Just make sure your blurb doesn’t give too much away. Just enough for the readers to go like “Oh. This is peaking my interest. I’ll read the first few chapters.”

I got confused half-way through reading your book. Because in your chapter New Beginnings, your MC already met Samuel and is already called Bremira. It was also implied in Chapter 1 that the grandmother was already dead. So when I read your chapter 2, she was suddenly called Rina? And her grandmother just died? And then I realized that oh maybe it’s a flashback and then I read the next chapter and it wasn’t? It’s the continuation of the flashback and explains how Bremira met Samuel? It was just confusing to me because there was no indication of it being a flashback or it’s just memory. It went straight to it. So I suggest making it easier for the new readers to understand. Maybe italicize the flashbacks and combining into one chapter so that they know that it’s one entire flashback. I also suggest to proofread a lot. Because there were a lot of punctuation and grammatical errors.

OVERALL SCORE: 3/5


#114

Hi, thank you so much for a review! Sorry, I guess when you read it I was still in the middle of taking someone else’s advice on moving things around from a review I got yesterday so things still weren’t entirely making sense still. But this helps a lot with things I need to remember to add a explanation too and where. I’ll indicate it was a flashback in the second chapter and explain the name. Her name isn’t actually Rina, it’s the name she uses when she’s in hiding. the whole explanation in the second chapter used to be the prologue so it made more sense but then someone told me not to have it as the prologue and put it in the second chapter so that the first was a bit more of a mystery. Do you think that’s a good idea? I also totally agree with you on my blurb, I didn’t notice that before, thank you. Once I fix all that I’ll go back and find the grammar and punctuation errors.


#115

Title: Darkness Embodied

Synopsis: For twenty years, Jensen Avery has been raised with the knowledge that at the rise of the moon on her twenty-first birthday, she will murder her twin brother. It is a tradition that she had been born to carry-out.

She is the all-powerful monster of her people; destined for glory; destined for isolation.

Jensen has never wanted to be the monster the world takes her for, but a tragedy shakes her life and rocks her resolve. For the first time, she begins to genuinely fear for the very state of her soul. She could see the darkness forming in her eyes and she knew that it would consume her if she stayed.

So she ran.

She didn’t expect to get far and she didn’t expect to meet Kaleo. An unexpected and volatile partnership, the longer she stays with him, the closer she grows to losing the best parts of herself.

It is a lesson she learned long ago: darkness cannot sire light and monsters cannot truly love.

But, is it a lesson that she will continue to heed?

https://www.wattpad.com/story/160786267-darkness-embodied

Thank yoooouuu <3


#116

Title: The Disease Called Men

Synopsis: Who needs boys? Certainly not Aldenbury Girls Grammar School!

Just when everything begins to finally fall into place, it falls apart—at least, for student council president Cerise. Cerise will do everything in her power to prevent Aldenbury from becoming co-ed. That includes bribery, coercion and maybe even the use of blackmail (which she may or may not have orchestrated the events herself). Along with her loyal, albeit reluctant group of friends, she has one goal in her mind:

Eliminate this disease called men.

Link: link here

Thank you for your time. :heart:


#117

Title: Fishman
Synopsis: Bobby Fishman goes to Amsterdam to end his life. He is rescued by Todd Patrick, who claims to know him. He explains that he’s been dating his sister, Kathleen online for ten years. However, Bobby had buried Kathleen ten years ago. Curious about Todd, they work together to help uncover the mystery behind Kathleen.
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/168972324-fishman


#118

hey I just wanted to let you know and the person on this thread that your link isn’t working. It doesn’t connect. I had to go to your profile to find it


#119

Thank you! I changed the link hopefully it works now. :slight_smile:


#120

You’re welcome


#121

*Title:: The story of Declan Blake (I am thinking of changing this to either ‘Seven Days’ or ‘Coming Home’)

Synopsis:
“There is great power in being the calm in the centre of a storm.” These were words that Declan Blake lived by. He didn’t react when bullied as a child. He didn’t break when shipped off to his brother on the other end of the country. He took it all in stride, an eery calmness that would unnerve most people. He saw each instance as a building block to who he could become.

Then why was going back home now causing him anxiety?

7 days. That’s all it was. 7 days with the family he hadn’t seen in 7 years. 7 days of being family. 7 days of holding a secret tightly clutched to his core. 7 days before he could finally go back home. It was only 7 days, right? What could possibly happen?

*Link: https://www.wattpad.com/645756122-the-story-of-declan-blake-on-going-featured

Please help me.
Thanks in Advance.