Abuse is NOT romance

discussion

#684

I was talking about that too. I’m saying that the person you were replying to wasn’t wrong. The idea of looking at obsession as ‘sexy’ is dangerous. Especially obsession over people. Perhaps you can handle it but not everyone can. They didn’t attack you personally or anything, and they didn’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t think. They said their opinion (that obsession isn’t sexy) just like you did. Just because someone doesn’t put ‘in my opinion’ or before every sentence it doesn’t mean they’re not expressing an opinion.

And the rest I mentioned because I have been reading through the thread and I’ve seen you continuously referencing your own relationship, which as you’ve repeated many times is consensual and doesn’t fit into the argument against or for ‘abuse’.


#685

Then if you also don’t agree with the user who literally told Angel that she must not sexualize obssessive mean because it’s not sexy why did you only reply to Angel without mentioning the other user too?


#686

There’s a difference between saying obsession should not be appealing and saying I personally do not like having obsessive partners. If I said hardcore BDSM is not appealing instead of saying I personally do not find it sexy everybody would go bezerk on me on this thread.


#687

EXACTLY! And she’s like just because someone doesn’t put in my opinion doesn’t mean they’re not making objective statements I’m sorry but we are notaliens ifyou do not clearly express yourself then don’t expect us to know what you were trying to say @troubleinspace that user was CLEAAARLY trying to make objective statements about Angels personal preference


#688

Because I was referencing her other posts as well over the course of the entire thread, not just that one. And also I don’t see the other commenter’s post as ‘you must/must not do this’. I just see it as an expression of an opinion. I never assume someone’s words are ‘objective’ unless they’re talking facts, and clearly this is a very subjective topic, so I’m taking everyone’s comments with a grain of salt.

If it bothers you that much I can tag the other commenter in it too?


#689

she Told Angel there is nothing sexy about Angels sexual preferences. That’s very disrespectful thing to say


#690

I’ll just go by your mentality and say just because someone did not add you must before their statements doesn’t mean that they did not mean that I must not find it sexy :wink:


#691

Okuuuuuurrrrrrrr


#692

Um, ok no. This entire thread is based on a subjective topic, so logic tells me to take everyone’s words subjectively and with a grain of salt. We’re all basing what we say off how we personally feel, are we not?


#693

Clearly that’s not the case for everybody since people here have been making blanket statements about everybody else’s sexual preferences just because they do not find it appealing.


#694

But still it would be your opinion and you have a right to express it, don’t you?


#695

Try typing that statement and see how some users here will react to “your right to express it.”


#696

And Angel has the right to feel attacked by that user’s extremely disrespectful comment right? If having a fetish for obsessive boyfriends was a large community nobody would accept such statements but because we are talking about a minority of women who are brave enough to voice their desire for “dangerous” men it’s okay?!


#697

I mean I don’t know anything about hardcore BDSM, why would I say that? And regardless of other people taking offense, you’re still allowed to say BDSM isn’t appealing if that’s how you feel… you’re not telling other people they shouldn’t partake in it? The concept of ‘appealing’ in general is based on what you find attractive, which in itself is subjective. I just… if people want to get offended then they can, it wouldn’t be your fault.


#698

No, it’s not respectful to say X is not appealing vs I find that X is not appealing. Just replace the sexual preference by a skin colour: Brown skin tone is not appealing vs I am personally not attracted to brown people. See the difference now?


#699

Preach


#700

Sure, of course she can feel however she wants. I never said she did anything wrong by responding to the user’s comment?


#701

you think sexualizing obsession is dangerous, she doesn’t if the woman consents to it. Agree to disagree everyone?


#702

If it is a preference, then I don’t understand what makes ‘X is not appealing’ different from ‘I personally think X is not appealing’ apart from the tone in which you say it. Both are speaking on a preference, which is personal, and implies subjectivity in and of itself. Then again, preference based on skin colour, a physical trait, is different from preference based on a mental/emotional state of mind.


#703

Because saying X is dangerous and not appealing make it sound as if you have some moral ground to decide what should be appealing and what should not be.