Abuse is NOT romance

discussion

#724

Again… You’re doing it again. Stop making things up. Me telling someone that wanting to be the object of a mans obsession isn’t disrespectful. It’s warning her more than anything that what she’s said is a formula for danger or emotional abuse later on down the line.

End of story.


#725

Ahhhhhh…okay. I see. I think it is all coming down to our tolerance level. What is good for someone is not necessarily good for the other. Relationship is tricky and unless someone is harmed…but otherwise, people should really mind their own business.


#726

I wasn’t involved in the conversation anymore after that point for hours where both you and her made up things that I said and claimed I disrespected her and demanded she not find something sexy.

Yes I do. Thank you for testing my basic knowledge of the topic at hand.


#727

Who are you to warn her though? You’re the one who put words in her mouth and talked about true obsession being a mental illness when she clearly only said obsession. You do realize that the two are like sadness and depression obsessing over your crush is very common among new lovers and it’s not considered a mental disorder until it becomes O.l.d


#728

That’s what Angel and I have been saying if she consents to it that’s it it’s her life and nobody should try to warn her as if they have the moral high ground about this topic


#729

Oh, I think I might have phrased that wrong.

As someone who creates artwork, I’ve always been taught two things: a) separate art from the artist, and b) what the audience gets from your work is not necessarily going to be what you put into it. And it’s not our job to go out there and tell people ‘this is the experience you should be having from my work’ or ‘this is how you should feel about it’. Artists create art. And since art is subjective, people will have their own interpretations regardless of what the artist originally intended, and that’s not wrong.

And the other point about sensitive subjects, I don’t believe in limiting artist creativity unless it’s harming people. And I don’t mean that the person is offended by it or just doesn’t like what it stands for. I mean really harming them. Art takes so many forms and can be expressed in so many ways. If an artist is distasteful in handling a sensitive subject, sure, we can have the opinion that the artwork sucks, but that artist doesn’t owe the world anything. Like for example, it’s not a writer’s responsibility to create work which teaches people about what’s right and wrong. That’s the job of a parent. The author just writes stories, and the person reading the work interprets it and decides what they think is right or wrong, regardless of the author’s intention. Obviously, social commentary pieces are going to have directed messages in them, so generally people are going to catch onto that, but if someone disagrees or sees something different light, the artist shouldn’t tell them what they’re viewing is wrong.

Having said that, it definitely speaks to an artist’s morality whether they decide or not to handle sensitive subject matter with care. If they’ve got any ounce of human decency they’ll consider their impact, especially if their work is going to a large audience. But again, the artist doesn’t owe the world anything, and if they put something out that’s negative, me and a majority of the world are going to think their work is shit, but still, as artists they should have the creative freedom to create what they want.

**all of this is as long as it’s not harming anyone, btw. Which is another point of debate, because how do you define ‘harm’ obectively


#730

Some people here try to act as if they have never stalked their crush online, have never wondered most of he times what their mates were doing or kept checking in up on their lover. That kind of obsession isn’t dangerous or extreme and is very common amongst new lovers and if angels tells her man yo I want you to obsess over me because I find it hot nobody warn her as she already said before she’s a grown woman and not a teen she wasn’t saying this is cool and young girls should follow my footsteps she simply said some women like obsessive men including me


#731

The “wow” part just reminds me of the doggo meme.

“Much orgasm. Many washing machine. Wow.”


#732

If I was the director of that movie I would have photoshopped the doggoo meme on the girls face when she says that hehehe


#733

I didn’t say I was warning her. I said it’s more of a warning than anything since she decided to be so offended by it and I had to tell you that it wasn’t disrespectful and instead tell you what the statement related closest to.

And who am I? I’m a woman who looks out of other women and when they say something that is alarming, I let them know it’s concerning so that maybe they can be aware.

The way she phrased it- as I just quoted her exact words again above- are alarming and insinuating that she might not recognize unhealthy behaviors when they are before her. I’m sorry that in her first message- the only one I responded to that has you so up in arms- I took her saying obsession as obsession and not a lesser, not as extreme infatuation like she claimed later on.

I can’t read her mind or what she ‘means’ to say behind what she actually does.

This is an entirely different situation and not one that we were ever talking about. Infatuation and obsession are different, of course. She said obsession. She said she wanted a guy to be obsessed over her. I told her that was dangerous and not sexy.

Those are the facts.


#734

Absolutely.

Yes. Yes. Yes, again.

I do believe it was just phrased wrong the first time because now I, once again, agree with your view and everything you’ve just said. lol

I wish I could love this section of the comment specifically.


#735

Well she’s not a feminist sis so she doesn’t need other women to tell her that her lifestyle is alarming


#736

This is totally different from the subject at hand or what she said in her first comment that started all of this.


#737

She simply said some women like obsessive men when cake was talking about the cute stalking and stuff and the difference between that and 50 shades you’re the one who created a well out of a drop


#738

Why do you keep saying lifestyle? I feel like you’re seriously misinformed. You also tend to ignore most of what I say that makes sense of the situation and examines why the conversation went the way it went so I feel like talking to you further is possibly pointless.

Once @absentminded_artist gets here, she will surely set the scene straight as someone who’s a member of the BDSm community and can shed some light on Angels comments and how they might be harmful.

Until then, we probably don’t have anything else to talk about.

(Also, Cake had to clarify because Angels first comment was speaking of obsession and not cute infatuation like came out later on)


#739

What the hell who is absent to shed light on Angel’s sexual preference? Is she the God of morality? Angel isn’t even part of the bdsm community I don’t even know why you’re calling up on people who aren’t not even related to what Angel identifies with

When did Angel say that when said said obsession she didn’t mean the cute stuff? You’re assuming things she didn’t write

Also Angel doesn’t need you or me or absent to “shed” light she’s a grown woman who went through experiences as she said and discovered what she likes. As women it’s disgusting how we constantly bring down other women just because they do not belong to social conformities what happened to sexual libretto?


#740

Because Angel made several misleading comments about the BSDM community and made harmful comments, the obsession one included.

She flat out said ‘Some women like when men obsess over them, me being one of them.’ You repeatedly ignore the comment that started this all in hopes that we will all forget it and just remember what she eventually landed on once people came at her with concern for her first comment,

No one is bringing anyone down. Literally that has not happened and the fact that you think me telling her that having a man be obsessed with you is dangerous is seriously problematic. Just think about that for a second. You’re telling me that me telling her that having a man obsessed with her is a dangerous thing and that is me trying to bring her down?

Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense.


#741

Oh
My
God
When did she make misleading comments about bdsm? She said multiple times she doesn’t even know anything about the community and that she was talking about Her personal life and not the bdsm community


#742

Yes she said some women like obsessive men me included does that equal all women must follow what I like? It’s only harmful if she tried to influence other women or tried to convince us to follow her footsteps


#743

Wow. So you didn’t read most of this thread today before the obsession comment. Got it.

And this is where I stop responding. lol