Abuse is NOT romance

discussion

#904

I’ve been asking this for a while. I haven’t gotten an answer. Everyone wants to talk abuse about how that book portrayed it, but can’t tell me what it was about. Im not going to read it for myself. I just want to know specific examples, plot and such to understand what they’re talking about because I feel dumb not knowing. I don’t read the big books.


#905

Here’s the blurb:

Tessa Young is an 18 year old college student with a simple life, excellent grades, and a sweet boyfriend. She always has things planned out ahead of time, until she meets a rude boy named Harry, with too many tattoos and piercings who shatters her plans.


#906

I’ve read the blurb. I still don’t understand it though. How is the romance abusive? That’s what Im asking.


#907

Oooh, I thought it was just what it was about, lol.

I haven’t read it either, so I wouldn’t know. From what I’ve read others say, it’s the classic “dude is controlling af”, starts punching walls when he’s mad, something about making her strip and then withholding her clothes from her?

On the other hand, I’ve also read she ends up leaving him in the third book because she realises he’s abusive.

But that’s what I’ve read others say, so I wouldn’t really trust it as a reliable source.


#908

Yeah. I just feel out of the loop. This book is a big deal on wattoad and I feel stupid because I don’t know what people are talking about. I saw the trailer and there was too much sexuality for me to be interested in it. I guess people just like that stuff.


#909

The funny thing is the film is rated PG-13 - so there’ll be a lot of fade to black and no actual action :joy:

I think there’s actual sex scenes in the book though? But I don’t know. I was never really interested in reading it, since it’s not my jam. But hey, power to Anna Todd for writing something at the age of 16 on her phone that ended up getting both traditionally published and made into a film.


#910

For a book that never shows a sex scene, they sure emphasized the sex in the trailer haha.


#911

I didn’t get very far in the books, but I know she also comes back to him later on, so it kind of discredits her leaving him in my eyes :woman_shrugging:


#912

Isn’t there explicit sex scenes in the book? :thinking::thinking:

@LightenTheShadows Yeah I don’t know. I’m just rehashing what I’ve read online, so I can’t really judge it, tbh.


#913

I never got very far in the books because I just didn’t like in general, let alone the romanticization of toxic relationships but this is an account dedicated to pointing out the romanticization and stuff in the book that I found.


#914

Oh, my bad. I misread your comment. I thought you said, “I didn’t think there are actually sex scenes in the book”. I wouldn’t know. I just think maybe for a book that puts out a trailer with a lot of sex in it, it would be rated more than pg-13. But whatever.


#915

Thank you. I will definitely read through it.


#916

Yeah, I thought it would be explicit but for something rated PG-13 it can’t :joy:

So the trailer is… A weird choice by the trailer people.


#917

Definitely agree. Plus, the book is all about her losing her virginity and how her life is only “after” so I find it’s kind of ridiculous to make a sex-centered book without explicit sex scenes. Like I’m not a fan of Fifty Shades, but it would be like making Fifty Shades with only fade to black scenes! The story wouldn’t really make much sense!


#918

I just read through some of the posts and excerpts. Yeah… That book is not okay.


#919

I thought it was a reference to her life after meeting the MMC :joy:

But yeah, I agree. I mean, the 50 Shades films were bad but at least they weren’t a tease. I feel like this might be one big tease which is kind of… Weird, when they’re promoting it as a sexual film. So I’m utterly confused to what the film is actually going to be like. I’m probably gonna watch it just to have watched it.

But we’ll see how long I can watch without giggling like an idiot over the name “Hardin”


#920

Yeah… I wanted to see what the hype was about and make my own assumptions, but I could barely get through the first few chapters.


#921

I’ll probably watch it once it comes out on Netflix for a good laugh cause I ain’t supporting that shit with my money. No sir!

But yeah, you can’t just make a book about sex into a movie about your first time and sex and abuse and stuff and have no actual sex in it.

She used “Hardin” because it was a Harry Styles fanfiction at first and she needed to change the name to get it published, but that’s all she changed. Also, did she realize what that name kind of implied when she chose t? Probably since the book is apparently 90% sex and abusive relationships plus abuse :joy::joy:


#922

Yeah, I’ll probably do the same. It’s not the kind of film I’d go to the cinema for. But in fairness I never go to the cinema so it’s not just After that gets that treatment.

There are so many nice names that are close to Harry - like Harrison. Why not go with that instead of… Hardin? :thinking:


#923

Hardin is just a massive innuendo