Abuse is NOT romance

discussion

#964

Yes, of course! They don’t have to perfect or the classic “nice guy”. Toxic relationships shouldn’t romanticized either, but toxic doesn’t have to mean abusive. If two people constantly cheat on each other and then get back together, it’s toxic but it’s not abusive.

Also, I think WP has confused “bad boy” and “abusive” as if they’re the same thing! A bad boy can be romanticized! He can be a mafia leader or gets into trouble and bring a little danger and that’s okay! But a boy like that can also move heaven and earth for his partner and be respectful towards them, even if he gets into trouble. Just because he’s not the best person doesn’t mean there can’t be a romantic relationship and I see no problem with that!

What I find on WP is that this “bad boy” is actually usually bad because he constantly abuses his partner, and yet she finds it sexy and “can’t resist” even though he’s ruining their life and the partner would probably die in a real life situation like that. THAT’S not good to be romanticized. Not to say you can’t have it in literature, but the ugly truth has to be shown and not meant to be ideal.

But, yeah, “bad boy” and “abuser” do not go hand in hand. They’re not synonyms.


#965

I respect your opinion. While possessiveness makes someone feel special or whatever, it’s not healthy because it shows mental instability. That’s how stalkers are born, in fact.


#966

An example of a healthy relationship was in Masqued, where he respected her opinions and decisions. On the other hand, there is Alpha Adrien, where is was so possessive it actually kinda creeped me out.
No self-respecting (or sane) woman should have to put up with some guy’s mommy issues or crap like that.


#967

Things like a “forced kiss” or whatever are all basically rape. That’s the only word for it.


#968

Um…no. There is absolutely another word for what that is. The word is “sexual assault.”

Forcibly kissing someone is sexual assault. But it’s not rape.

Rape is a forced sex act.

Clarification of the terms “Rape,” “Sexual Assault,” and “Sexual Abuse.”


#969

Did she really try to make an allusion to Pride & Prejudice? Ha!

Hardin does not sound like Mr. Darcy at all. I’m eye-rolling so hard right now.


#970

Even though I haven’t read P&P, wasn’t Mr. Darcy like really quiet/shy or something like that?


#971

Mr Darcy was a darling gentleman compared to men in today’s romance fiction :joy:


#972

That’s true. JANE AUSTEN DID THE RIGHT THING BACK THEN.


#973

It’s sexual assault, as @absentminded_artist said


#974

He’s kind of an awkward duck who is a bit arrogant in the beginning but actually works to correct his behavior when called out on it.


#975

Bless. Now I can see why everyone loves him


#976

I was on Instagram and I saw a video post of a woman giving a gun a blow j… and sucking the bullets out of the gun and spitting the bullets into a man that was holding the gun hands. It was degrading first of all then it was violent to me. That video gave me bad vibes. And of course most of the post glorified it.


#977

What the heck? And that’s on Instagram?

I feel sorry you watched that and you need :hole: :droplet: :pray: (There’s no holy water here so had to make a emoji word :joy:)


#978

I could not believe what I was seeing. However, it wasn’t interesting to me, it was down right nasty.


#979

Oh yea, the person that posted that, I blocked them…


#980

In the paperback editions of the several AFTER books, reviewer blurbs refer to Anna Todd as ‘the Jane Austen of her generation’, Really. It’s enough to make you gasp out loud. Quite a feat for a teen who wrote a very simple-minded bunch of books. They make Fifty Shades sound like the Brontes wrote it. Most people aren’t so offended by the toxic relationship aspect as they are by the See Jane Run prose. Yet she got a ‘middle’ six figure contract via Watty, and a movie option. Proving that bad writing and toxic bad boy abuse can lead you to big time success in publishing.


#981

Yet Jane Austen didn’t write about an abusive relationship in her books. In Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth is never treated in a bad way, and she stands up and defends herself in all occasions. I still don’t get how they could have compared Anna Todd’s work, its far from the same thing. It’s a crazy world we live in.


#982

A couple years ago I picked up a super-discounted copy of “After” from a bookstore, lured by Todd’s success story.

Got a chapter in and was horrified that I spent $4 on it, even though it was valuable in educating me in the type of garbage that is finding success.

It’s baffling and depressing.

PS - never went deeper than a couple chapters into that trash fire.


#983

Honestly I cannot see how anyone who has actually read Pride and Prejudice could make the comparison.