♡ Alice's Friendly Critiques ⫸closed⫷



Accepted! At the moment I’m only committing to one chapter, would you like it to be the first one? If I have time I’ll continue on but because of my disability there are certain times that I do less. Just wanna be sure on that.

I’ll be able to start on this in the next couple days! :smiley:


Do as you want! Chapter 1 is just fine for now


Title: Handwritten Poems
Genre: Poetry
Blurb: Go on a poetic journey with Lexi where she learns how to love herself in this twisted world that she’s trapped in.
Which chapter: Chapter 1
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/164997855-handwritten-poems
How would I like my feedback: inline comments on WP
Complete payment: Yes


Accepted! :slight_smile:


Are you still accepting or are you closed because there’s three already?


I’ll accept you and close after this :slight_smile: but I might take a bit longer to get to you, however I’ll PM if there’s gonna be any long delays. You can leave the form info and I’ll add you to the list!


Title: Despondent

Genre: Romance/Teen fiction/Prose

Blurb: He didn’t do relationships, and she’s never been out of her gilded cage.

Which chapter: We might have to discuss this because the chapters are really short since the whole story is told in short prose excerpts.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/168907190-despondent

How would you like your feedback: Google Docs, inline comments here on WP, or something else?: I don’t really have a preference. I think comments would be easiest but if have something else in mind I’m open to that too.

Do you agree to complete payment promptly?: Yes I do

Thank you and take your time, I’m in no rush.


I’ve caught up mostly now, so you are 2nd in line to be critiqued. :smiley:


Thank you!




Title: Spirit’s Fortune

Genre: Fantasy YA

Blurb: Mountains collapse, kingdoms flood and people start dying from disease, and amidst the danger of an upcoming war, the daughter of ancient heroes finds someone who may be the key to solve the world’s problems.

Which chapter: Chapter one please (you can read it without the prologue)

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/169060171-spirit's-fortune

How would you like your feedback: Google Docs, inline comments here on WP, or something else?: Wattpad inline comments are okay


Accepted! I’ll be able to do it within the next 1-2 days. :slight_smile:


Title: What the Morning Brings

Genre: YA Fantasy

Blurb: Ori is an average small-town boy. Or so he thought, until a strange circus appears in his backyard. He meets Blithe, a golden and guileful acrobat who immediately draws Ori in. Accepting her invitation to join the Cirque de Reverie, he is swept up in a whirlwind of wonder. Unbeknownst to him, the circus is not what it seems, and something dark lurks beneath its golden surface.

Before, there are two sisters as opposite as light and dark but as close as the moon and the stars. When one runs away, leaving the younger sister heartbroken, she grapples with the grief and secrets her sister left behind. Something tugs on her heart, forcing her to follow in her sister’s steps, and it is up to her to find a way to save her before it’s too late. But in a circus that thrives on magic, mystery, and manipulation, that task might just be monumental.

Master Agelast, the ringmaster, has his own secret up his sleeve, one that will trap Ori for good. Because once you’re bound to the circus, there’s no way out. In order to break free a sacrifice must be made, but how can he escape what has been set in the stars?

Which chapter: Ch. 1

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/166826871-what-the-morning-brings-nanowrimo2018

How would you like your feedback: Google Docs, inline comments here on WP, or something else?: inline, please


Title: Karalena

Genre: YA Fantasy

Blurb: Centuries ago, the City of Raas was hidden from the world through illusionist magic during a time of great death and war. It was used as a hidden refuge for those deemed worthy while the fighting continued on battle fronts all over the world. Eventually that fighting came to an end though, and people slowly stopped arriving at the Hidden City of Raas. That is, until years later when three men stumble upon it by chance… Or was it?
Karalena witnesses the arrival of the men, along with the destruction that follows their arrival. When two of them escape the city after killing her mother and wreaking havoc upon her city, Karalena takes it upon herself and the man they left behind to track them down and learn why they did it.
Throughout her journey, Karalena will learn about trust, loyalty, love, and a past she never knew she had.

Which chapter: Chapter One (The Prologue has more background as to what’s happening in the first chapter, but I’d like more critique on the first chapter itself rather than the prologue)

Link: www.wattpad.com/story/129206344-karalena?utm_source=widget&utm_medium=link_copy

How would you like your feedback: Inline on Wattpad please :innocent:




Accepted :slight_smile:

Future applicants: I’ll accept a waiting list of 1-2 people before closing for catch up


Title: 3S

Genre: Teen Fiction

Blurb: ‘‘Remembering is a blessing. Remembering is a curse.’’

Every school in the merry town of Green Meadow has a 2S; a Seducer and a Satan. In Greenmeadow High, those two happen to be Adrien Songster and Dylan Collins, respectively, with a small addition of a third S: Anne Pinon, the Saint.

The 3S of Greenmeadow High, the famed trio whose influence no one could deny, have a relationship that is as shallow as could be, strangers that have as little interaction with each other as possible. But not for so long.

With the arrival of a teacher, a student, and a new mayor, things start changing. Things that have to do with an incident that occurred two years ago, one that nobody is aware of its details because the only one who witnessed it, Anne Pinon, has no recollection of it, not that she has any memory of the first sixteen years of her life for the matter.

With the unfolding of events, the 3S discover they are all connected to the two-year old mystery and must, hand in hand, uncover its secrets before the aftereffects of their history catch up to them.

Which chapter: chapter 6/ Heart 6 | The Demons (it’s nothing occult I assure you)

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/148103979-3s

How would you like your feedback: Google Docs

Thank you for doing this beautiful thing!


Title: The Price We Pay

Genre: Short Story

Blurb: Will we sacrifice the diversity in our oceans for the continued use of plastic? First submission to the National Geographic #PlanetorPlastic writing contest.

Which chapter: Just the One

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/171003542-the-price-we-pay-planetorplastic

How would you like your feedback: Google Docs, inline comments here on WP, or something else?: Inline comments on WP

Thank you so much!


Accepted. I’ve also accepted @Svoosh – you’re both on the waiting list so it might be up to a week until I’m able to complete the critique. Looking forward to it though!

For future applicants: please don’t post any requests until I’ve marked the thread open. I’m now closing for catch-up.


Sorry for the delay everyone! I took a break over the holidays. I should be able to do all your stories this weekend. :slight_smile: @Lauren_jessicaa @xletmebemyselfx @Svoosh