👽 Alien Critiques 👽 (OPEN)

feedback-offered

#222

Done!(:blush:


#223

Critique complete! I’m sorry it took me so long. As expected, your story was wonderful!


#224

Hi! Could I request a few more chapters of The World Changer? I’d really love your feedback on them, especially on the new markers I’ve added when to show which world it is :slight_smile: (They aren’t present in every chapter, only when the narrative shifts).

  • title: The World Changer
  • genre(s): Portal fantasy adventure
  • brief summary:
    Tahro Akagi shouldn’t live in two worlds at once.

Yet he couldn’t stop the magic that made him set foot in the lands of his favourite book. Not when he needed a place to belong and found it among the characters he cherished in the continent of Saishuu Riku. And not when he has to save them from the fate told in its pages.

But if a butterfly’s wings can bring thunderstorms, then his every breath is another flap as it flies, his every heartbeat a danger to those around him.

Unwittingly, he plunges too deep into the conspiracy of a witch biding her time against the continent. When tensions rise between the ministers of Saishuu Riku, and children are kidnapped by a man with butterfly-patterned knives, Tahro knows he’s changed too much. Events that should happen don’t, and his new friends are caught in a crossfire he wants no part in.

But if one of the kidnapped children is his friend, can he choose between her and the rest of the world?

  • number of chapters you want me to read: 4 (4.1, 4.2, 5.1 and 5.2)
  • numerous in-lines or one giant comment?: Inline would be nice ^^.
  • anything you want me to focus on?: Plot, character and pacing. And if the confusing aspects are dealt with, I really struggle with this XD.
  • what would you rate your story? (G, PG…?): PG-13 I guess.
  • password: Scully.

#225

Oops sorry, I just noticed it says closed. I’ll ask again later then XD.


#226

That’s fine! When I open up again, I’ll add you to the queue.


#227

Thank you ^^! I’ll get down to the payments then.


#228

Critique complete! I like your story so far.


#229

Thank you (again).


#230

Thank you for the critique! Sorry it’s taking meage to complete the payment but I’ll try to finish it asap :stuck_out_tongue:


#231

Critique complete! I’m sorry it took me so long to get it done. I really like your story, and I didn’t see too many issues aside from grammar. Good job!


#232

^me reading your book

Critique complete! I really enjoyed reading your story! You have strong characters, an enthralling plot, and overall good grammar.


#233

I’m open again! I’ll get started on your story ASAP!


#234

Yay, thanks ^^!


#235

Thank you!! It means a lot to me :slight_smile::slight_smile:


#236

Critique complete! Please pardon the long wait!


#237

bump


#238

Thank you so much and no problem ^^!


#239

Title: The Last Woman on Earth
Genre: Dystopia, Post-apocalyptic, fantasy, war novel
Description/Blurb: A long time ago, there was a ‘type’ of human existed in this world, and they were called ‘women’. Our generation will never know what happened. None of the remaining public documents mention why ‘women’ have gone extinct, and it seems the people of later generations have done so deliberately. And I found a so-called last of their kind.
Password: Tarzan
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/85944317-the-last-woman-on-earth
How much to critique: I’d really like 7-8 chapters. If you accept it I’ll get to payment right away!
Criticism preference: Just give me something you’re most comfortable with :smiley:


#240

Please use my form and my password


#241

Sorry about that.

  • title: The Last Woman on Earth
  • genre(s): Dystopia, Post-apocalyptic, fantasy, war novel
  • brief summary: A long time ago, there was a ‘type’ of human existed in this world, and they were called ‘women’. Our generation will never know what happened. None of the remaining public documents mention why ‘women’ have gone extinct, and it seems the people of later generations have done so deliberately. And I found a so-called last of their kind.
  • number of chapters you want me to read: I’d really like 7-8 chapters. If you accept it I’ll get to payment right away!
  • numerous in-lines or one giant comment?: I’d like a giant comment more.
  • anything you want me to focus on?: Just anything you’re comfortable with.
  • what would you rate your story? (G, PG…?): 18+
  • password: Scullly