👽 Alien Critiques 👽 (OPEN)

feedback-offered

#21

bump


#22

I finished! Your story was a genuine pleasure to read. You made very few mistakes and are a wonderful writer. You said that you were worried about the believability of your emotions/reactions. I’m going to tell you that you don’t need to worry about that. I believed every emotion your narrator felt. Great job and please continue writing!


#23

last bump for the night


#24

bump


#25

I finished with your story! It was very good and I thoroughly enjoyed it. My only critique is that you should probably hire an editor. Us authors stare at our books for so long that we become oblivious to our mistakes. That’s why it helps to have someone else look over it. It happens to all of us. Other than that, your story is great!


#26

title: Out of the Ordinary
genre(s): sci-fi, fantasy, action, teen fic, youngadult
brief summary: Kaley Langstrom is your typical 15 year old girl. She lives in her ordinary house in her ordinary neighborhood, she goes to her ordinary high school, and has her ordinary friends. Well…she’s not that typical: Kaley has an obsession with the weird and the paranormal. She believes that humans are not the only living beings in the galaxy. But others do not agree with her. Until one night, something not-so-ordinary happens that will change Kaley’s life forever. She later makes a new friend who is far, far from ordinary. Kaley wants to introduce her new friend to this world as well as protect him from those who might see him as a threat, especially if they’re from the government. Will Kaley keep her secrecy protected or end up in the clutches of harm?
number of chapters you want me to read: 5
do you want numerous in-line comments or one giant critique in the comment section?: Either one is fine
anything you want me to focus on?: All of the above
password: Scully


#27

Awesome! I love me some sci-fi. Complete the payment and I’ll get started right away!


#28

thank you so much, and you’re definitely right. i shall look for an editor.


#29

title: Six Days Dead

genre(s): Historical Fiction

brief summary:
Alexander the Great, one of the fiercest warriors in all of history, is dead. Well, that’s the doctors say. However, as far as he is aware, dead men don’t think. Dead men don’t see their memories dance in front of their eyes as vividly as if they were real. Dead men don’t feel their hearts beating steadily in their chests.
Alexander was declared dead six days before his heart finally stopped. This is the story of those days.

number of chapters you want me to read: 1

do you want numerous in-line comments or one giant critique in the comment section?:
One critique please

anything you want me to focus on (spelling, grammar, character development, etc.)?: Anything thanks!

password: Scully


#30

Oh. My. Gosh. Yes! I love Alexander the Great. Complete the payment and I’ll gladly get started


#31

Done! Thank you :slight_smile:


#32

title: Chimaera

(https://www.wattpad.com/story/176850626-chimaera-opennovellacontest2019)

genre(s): Science-fiction

brief summary: Dion is a different human being. Enhanced, yes, but also distinct from all of his peers. In his search for meaning and a sense of belonging, he must go further than any other teenager: beyond his planet, beyond his world.

number of chapters you want me to read: 4

do you want numerous in-line comments or one giant critique in the comment section?: Whatever fits best what you have to say about the chapter

anything you want me to focus on (spelling, grammar, character development, etc.)?: Mainly character development and worldbuilding. I know the story still needs some fleshing out when it comes to description, but I’d like to know what impressions you get from the setting as it is.

password:Scully


#33

This sounds fun! Complete payment and I’ll get started!


#34

Done, I think? :slight_smile:


#35

Yup! I’ll get started soon


#36

bump


#37

Done :smile:


#38

Awesome! I’ll get started as soon as possible


#39

I loved your story. As someone who is familiar with the legend of him and his horse, I thought you beautifully brought it to life. For someone who’s never heard the legend before, I think your story would be a really cool introduction to one of the greatest military generals ever. Good job!


#40

Thank you!