👽 Alien Critiques 👽 (OPEN)

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#141

:+1:


#142

Accepted! Please complete payment


#143

bump


#144

Your critique is done! As usual, it was an absolute pleasure to read!


#145

Thanks! Feel free to keep on reading if you want :laughing:


#146

Your critique is done! Your poems were beautiful and I enjoyed reading them. I don’t really have any major critiques, so good job!


#147

thank you so much!


#148

bump


#149

bump


#150

Hey there! I’d love to have your feedback on my story :slight_smile:.

Title: The World Changer

Genre(s): Portal fantasy adventure.

Brief summary: Tahro Akagi shouldn’t live in two worlds at once.

Yet he couldn’t stop the magic that made him set foot in the lands of his favourite book. Not when he needed a place to belong and found it among the characters he cherished in the continent of Saishuu Riku. And not when he has to save them from the fate told in its pages.

But if a butterfly’s wings can bring thunderstorms, then his every breath is another flap as it flies, his every heartbeat a danger to those around him.

Unwittingly, he plunges too deep into the conspiracy of a witch biding her time against the continent. When tensions rise between the ministers of Saishuu Riku, and children are kidnapped by a man with butterfly-patterned knives, Tahro knows he’s changed too much. Events that should happen don’t, and his new friends are caught in a crossfire he wants no part in.

But if one of the kidnapped children is his friend, can he choose between her and the rest of the world?

Number of chapters you want me to read: 7-8 please.

Do you want numerous in-line comments or one giant critique in the comment section?: Inline.

Anything you want me to focus on (spelling, grammar, character development, etc.)?: Character development, plot and pacing.

Password: Scully.


#151

Accepted! You summary alone makes me think this will be an awesome story! Please complete payment and I will gladly add you to the queue.


#152

I have a google doc that is full of X-Files gifs. I may have a problem.

(also, bump)


#153

Critique complete! I enjoyed reading your story because it was definitely out of my comfort zone.


#154

title: Shatter the Glass
genre(s): Slipstream adventure (slipstream is like scifi and fantasy smushed together)
brief summary: A boy, a girl, two indestructible aliens, and a pair of entities of questionable origin and morals are all thrown into each others lives. Two fighting for the completion of their late parents’ research, two fighting for their lives, and two fighting to keep their heads above the tsunami of mental illness.
number of chapters you want me to read: However many you can! There are currently eleven chapters posted.
In-line comments or one giant critique: One giant critique please, it will be much easier for me to keep track that way c:
Focus: Character development, realism, character interactions, etc. It’s a highly character-centric story so, y’know.
Password: Scully


#155

Thank you ^^! I’ll get down to it today :)!


#156

title: Son of Winter - All the King’s Men
genre(s): Fantasy-Adventure
brief summary: Loth Vettrsson, a caravan master, wanders the continent, selling trade items and taking contracts, hoping to make an odd profit. Though he will discover just how far men are willing to go for a few silver, as he seeks to make his way in the world as a merchant. Alhough he is always moving, his past will catch up to him.

That, he cannot escape.
number of chapters you want me to read: your choice! i only have a short prologue and a very long first chapter, i’d prefer the first chapter but if you’re busy i understand you might be pressed for time :))
do you want numerous in-line comments or one giant critique in the comment section?: again, your choice! i’d prefer outlining all my mistakes and giving me real, raw criticism on what i did wrong, but tell me how i can improve so i can fix my mistakes! i won’t be offended by harsh criticism, so long as it aims to help me improve!
anything you want me to focus on (spelling, grammar, character development, etc.)?: focus on the story elements, plot holes, realism, how believable and good/bad my characters are, etc, i’m not too worried about grammar bc i’ll notice that myself when i edit it
password: Scully :))


#157

Payment complete! I love your story :slight_smile:!


#158

Accepted. My schedule is currently very busy, so I will have to cap the chapters at eight. If eight is fine with you, then please go ahead and complete the payment.


#159

Accepted. I will read both chapters. Please complete the payment so I can get started.


#160

Your critique is completed!