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#224

I usually do rereads on the weekends. Also, it’s finals week so my bad on the constant slips and whatnot.


#225

Okay!


#226

Hiya! I have a teen fiction book called Break My Heart which I would love some feedback on.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/8112414-break-my-heart

You can write your thoughts in the comments section, I don’t mind.

Thank you! :blush:


#227

Funny little thing: my main is asexual too.

https://www.wattpad.com/436879477-legend-ash-book-one-in-hooded-capes-quartet-1
Thank you in advance.


#228

It actually worked out. Kayleigh-sama visited me in the shower this week. It’s like She used Overturn on me. It’ll likely fundamentally change the story as a whole.


#229

When you have time, could you check out my first chapter? There’s no hurry at all. Thanks in advance, even if you can’t do it. Luma


#230

Hello. This is my story. It’s in the urban fantasy genre. If you do read it your feedback would be much appreciated.

This is the link - https://www.wattpad.com/story/163561633-monsters-in-blackridge

Thanks :blush::blush:


#231

WOW. Your analysis is in depth, on time and BRILLIANT!!! It really gave me an idea of how my story would be viewed. You gave me valid things to improve and it wasn’t vague. If any of you are worried, don’t be. This person delivers.


#232

I like your style, so I’ll try my luck.
Frost on the Grasslands, book one of my Fantasy WIP. The ‘first chapter’ is a one-paragraph prologue; it’s the formal ‘chapter one’ I’m keen to hear about.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/124570943-frost-on-the-grasslands-stories-of-shelha-volume-i

Ace biologist here, formally schooled as well; pleased to make your acquaintance! :smiley:


#233

Would you please read the first chapter of my story, The City of Blood? I know you’re busy, so if it doesn’t come in 24 hours, I’ll wait patiently. As it’s almost the end of December and the start of the new year, exams are popping up like crazy. The story is Science Fantasy, a mixture between Science Fiction and Fantasy. I’ll link the first chapter here. Thank you so much!


#234

Howdy! Usually if the prologue is super short I’ll read the first chapter since I try not to be a pedantic jerk.


#235

Also, I just wanted to clarify. I’ve skimmed through the document you linked. Is that what you want me to focus on or should I still look at what’s published?


#236

I’d say that one. the WP draft doesn’t reflect the major change I just made.


#237

Ah. I’ll just PM you my general thoughts.


#238

okay!


#239

Hello fellow wattpad users!

It’s Monday, which means once again I’ll be sharing the story feature of the week, where I’ll go through all the stories I’ve received reading requests for and post the one I enjoyed reading the most. It’s a great way for me to both show appreciation for all the awesome writing you people have sent my way and get a little publicity out there for authors who are simply far too talented to remain obscure.

This week’s featured story is called Darkening Seduction by Vexful. Now what really set this work apart in a pool of some very entertaining reads was just how quickly and vividly it grabbed my attention with its descriptions. There’s always a fine balance between jumping into an opening text too fast and going overboard with the exposition and description of the setting. Here, though, I felt like the opening line was demonstrative not only of the tone of the setting but of the story as a whole.

I think what really sold me on this particular story was the crisp and quick pacing of the action. It was sudden, disorienting, yet at the same time so rich in sensory information at times it felt like watching a horror movie with top notch effects. And in spite of so much going on, the edge and voice with which the protagonist narrates in this first person chapter makes it abundantly clear, even without a lot of dialogue. There is one dialogue scene but if that had been the extent of character development, Aila would have fallen flat as a character. Fortunately, that was no issue. Even better, this was all accomplished without her voice going too far and becoming a distraction from the fast paced action.

Anyway, enough of my babbling, please go check this chapter out. It is absolutely an example I’d proudly hold up as something I want as a reader and something I aspire to as an author:
https://www.wattpad.com/501777695-darkening-seduction-i-blairsville


#240

hello. i’ve recently posted the first chapter to my novel and in depth/real critique would be appreciated. i feel like my friends go soft on me. thank you! good luck w finals, especially the science ones. >.<

https://www.wattpad.com/story/170378778-parker-and-oliver


#241

A fair warning (which several people on this thread can attest) if I don’t like something, I will not hesitate to say that particular aspect of the writing is awful. It’s not me being mean, I just prefer being very honest and not sugarcoating anything in my analysis.


#242

i dont mind. xD it’s something to get used to. do you pm the critiques?


#243

So my default is to leave a comment on the stories in question. If you prefer, though, I’ll PM it instead.