Andy's Expanded Analysis Service Center, 1st Chapters Free (all genres, OPEN)

feedback-offered
critiques

#285

Okay. Remember, the first chapter is free and guaranteed in the next 24 hours. The next ones will be within 24 hours of payment.


#286

I don’t know if you reviewed my story yet, but here it is if you haven’t! (I’ve made a few revisions)
Title: The Legend of the Moonflower Princess
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/659085416-the-legend-of-the-moonflower-princess-where-the


#287

I have. I’ve uploaded a first chapter assessment for that already. If you’d like me to read more chapters, see the terms above for payment.


#288

I would like a review of my next two chapters please.


#289

I can do that. I’ll have those assessments within 24 hours of payment. Would you prefer a summary or in-line comments?


#290

I like summaries better, but if you feel like leaving an in-line comment, feel free to! I’ve already commented/reviewed your first two chapters by the way.


#291

Thanks! That was fast. Yours should be up in 24 hours or less.


#292

Welcome!


#293

Hey there! I really appreciate you doing this. Do you think you could read the first chapter of my book? (you can skip the prologue as I’ve had enough feedback on that for now.) My chapters are fairly long, so I may comment on your book for this first chapter anyway. I may come back for more reviews in the future, as I’ve seen your format and it’s very in-depth. :slight_smile:

Thank you!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/160721997-all-i-see


#294

Alright, I do these spot checks from time to time but… has anyone responded to this thread and not gotten a review from me within 24 hours? If so, that means for whatever reason you slipped through the cracks. Speak now or forever hold your peace.


#295

Hello fellow wattpad users,

It’s Monday which means it’s time for my weekly feature, where I go through my review service thread and pick a story I thought was particularly impressive. This is my way of showing appreciation for good writing and giving authors who might not have as many views as they deserve a much needed boost.

This week’s feature is titled “Overshot” by @Riprish. It’s a sci fi but the first few chapters read as a much more down to earth (literally) military drama. The prose and writing style used to establish the scene, the characters, and the overall tone of the story is frankly something I deeply envy. It’s brilliant and I felt engrossed and familiar with the setting even though I have no experience serving in the military in the Middle East.

The main character Bobby Ty has a personality that jumps out of the pages both through dialogue and her own inner thought narrative. The experiences she describes with her irate superior officers are vivid and gave me genuine anxiety for her, and the casual banter she has with her comrades really made them feel like people and not just soldier props for the story.

What really sealed the deal for me in this story though was the seamlessness with which it transitioned from following Bobby’s mundane life to an action packed chase that heightens the tension and really gets the plot rolling. From the very accidental way in which she sees more than she’s supposed to to the nudge of curiosity which rapidly plunges her in danger, I could believe a person in Bobby’s position would do all the things that happened in the story. Believability in action stories like these is a critical factor for me, and in that regard I feel like this character has earned the action packed plot that’s ahead.

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/554134159-overshot-chapter-1


#296

Hi Andy! I would love it if you could give me feedback on the first chapter of Brother! It’s a historical fantasy so any feedback would be appreciated. :slight_smile:
Brother by Jax


#297

Your complimentary first chapter assessment is complete!


#298

Here is my WIP. There’s a sneak peek in the beginning so please skip that and read the chapter titled “1”.

Thank you so much!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/172471768-ravien


#299

Your complimentary assessment is complete.


#300

Thank you!


#301

Hello fellow wattpad users,

It’s Monday which means it’s once again time for the weekly feature, where I go through various review requests I take either here on this thread or through PMs from people who contact me that way and pick a story I thought had a particularly compelling hook. As always, this is how I show appreciation and maybe even offer a bit of publicity to writers who’ve really impressed me.

This week’s feature is “Hoist the Colors” by @jessie-bear. The opening chapter is not only fast paced but immersive and beautifully descriptive as well. There were a few points I was worried would devolve into cliches but I was wonderfully surprised by how the author not only subverted them but turned them into enjoyable moments and highlights instead.

Interestingly enough, it’s not immediately clear what the overarching plot of the story is but with an opening action scene as exciting as this one, I found I wasn’t bothered by it at all. It’s a story of high seas adventures and really that’s all I needed to know to get into it. The main character Siuro is a no nonsense, self reliant action heroine who manages to really develop as a character even while having barely any speaking lines. Not that anyone should have room to talk in the high stakes fight that opens this story.

I often find that even talented authors struggle to balance exposition and narrative events in their opening chapters and as a result, the pacing and overall entertainment value of the text plummets. I can happily report that no such issues exist here. There’s no time wasted on tangential info dumps, no needlessly exhaustive dialogue that is both pace breaking and jarring to the character, and the action was beautifully yet concisely written such that I couldn’t help but scroll through this story at a pace to match and vote.

Go check it out here:
https://www.wattpad.com/story/166863725-hoist-the-colours


#302

OH :clap:t3: MY :clap:t3: SOUL :clap:t3:
I die :sneezing_face:That’s so sweet!!!
ThankyousomuchforsayingallthesenicethingsaboutmybookandmywritingandjustIwantyoutoknowIreallyappreciateit :mega: :sob::sneezing_face::sob:


#303
  1. Username/Name: @sooppastar
  2. Title of Novel: A Cockroach in Brooklyn
  3. Chapters: My short is 6k words, split into 8 SHORT chapters, some just 500 words. I will gladly read one of your chapters and go from there, so what ever you think is equivalent!
  4. Genre: short story, humor, slice of life
  5. Summary or Synopsis: Stuck in a funk after being dumped, a 30 year-old woman gains a surprising new friend and roommate with strange and macabre consequences. A tongue-in-cheek true story by an “over 35 year-old” British-bred writer with a dark sense of humor.
  6. Link to Novel: https://www.wattpad.com/670618457-a-cockroach-in-brooklyn-a-darkly-amusing-short
  7. Anything else: same story was originally formatted as 3 chapters - I broke it into 8, so read as much as you can handle. :slight_smile:
    https://www.wattpad.com/670618457-a-cockroach-in-brooklyn-a-darkly-amusing-short
  8. Password: Homer’s The Odyssey

Thank you so much for the opportunity!


#304

I’ll go ahead and read the first three (about 2k words give or take) and give an assessment for free. If you’d like similarly detailed commentary on the remaining chapters, just reading Chapter 1 of my work in progress “The Blood of Queens” will suffice as payment along with one pertinent comment.

Thank you!