Andy's Expanded Analysis Service Center, 1st Chapters Free (Temporarily Closed)



that’s fine. (:


I take it you mean you’re fine with me just commenting on the story?




Cool. Expect that within 24 hours of your request.


Thank you! :smiley:


@Andyjo1, thank you so much for reading my story and giving a review. I love your honesty; it’s really what I need, because I want to improve more on my writing. And, I will definitely read your story.


Hello! I’m a newbie writer posting their first story ever and some feedback would be appreciated. :slight_smile: I need to know if this story is worth the effort of continuing it or not. You can skip the preface and go right into the first chapter if you want.


Would you look at mine please?

Ranger Rising

Everyone has their place in the world. Fate is inescapable so it does little good to fight it.

Lena Rivers has been told this her entire life. She’s a farmer’s daughter. One day she will marry, have children, and be a farmer too. That’s the way things work. Lena absolutely hated the idea of being a farmer or the wife of one. There had to be more to life than what everyone told her. However, that seemed to be the life she was destined for.

Until the traces of a large beast, larger than anyone in her town had ever seen, were discovered on the outskirts of the forest. The mayor of her small town hires Aust, an elfin King’s Ranger to root out and destroy the beast. When Lena meets him she finds herself absolutely taken at the sight of his longbow and massive stag and falls in love with the prospect of becoming a ranger. However, if she wants to be of any use to find the monster that’s terrorizing her home then she has a lot to learn.



Okay. I think I’m done with everyone’s requests as of right now. Have I missed anyone? If it’s been over 24 hours and you haven’t gotten a response that means you’ve somehow slipped through the cracks. I’m quite serious about that 24 hours guarantee so please don’t hesitate to contact me if more time’s gone by.


This seems like a cool idea. Could you take a look at my first chapter?

i would like some feed back on this one, if you don’t mind. just a short 4,000 word short story.


Hello ^ - ^ I just published the first chapter of a high-fantasy story called The Alpha’s Flame. Would you be interested in looking at that? It’s only just over a 1,000 words :slight_smile:


Really appreciate this thread. Would it be cool if you can help with my first chapter? A private message would be preferred, thank you :slight_smile:


Not hard genre, but I’d love some more eyes on this Teen Fiction book I’m writing.

The Long Run
Ongoing YA Romance

Love is dumb and inconvenient.

Going into Senior Year, Bash Villeda is tired. Tired of his rep. Tired of his friends. Tired of being “Bash the Flash,” fastest sprinter in South Jersey. He’s been miserable all summer so why’s he suddenly so interested in that Sandro Miceli guy?

The youngest in a huge, loud Italian family, Sandro knows being tired. It’s about the only thing they have in common. That and their secret.

After a long drunk night in the woods, Sandro and Bash decide that their best bet to beat Senior Year is to stick together. But can they grow past their pasts? Is their special friendship enough to survive the stigma?

Is falling in love this late the right move in the long run?


I really like your idea and think it would be nice to see how my first chapter played out. Hopefully, it’s not all that bad lol

If you wouldn’t mind checking the first of my story:

It’s supposed to be science fiction but I (quite honestly) fail at writing that type (oh well, I can only get better). I don’t believe there is anything, uh, I need to warn you against in the first chapter. No, uh, bad language if memory serves me right.


Okay. Has anyone not gotten a review from me within 24 hours of posting a request? My records show I’ve done all of them but I have been known to occasionally have lapses.


Hi there! I would love to get your thoughts on my book - Mr McFlibbit and the Curious Case of the Clockwork Children.

As your review is really focussed on the characters, the first time we meet both MC’s is in chapter 2, so I wonder if you might prefer reading that one to see their interactions? If not, chapter one would be great to hear some feedback on Rosie regardless.

Here’s my link

Its a steampunk/fantasy/YA/Mystery novel hopefully you’ll enjoy it.


Hello fellow wattpad users! It’s Monday and time for me to introduce another Feature of the Week, where I go through this thread and post a story I reviewed and really liked. It’s my way of doing my part to give recognition to authors here who may not have the reads they deserve.

This week’s featured story is called Ranger Rising by FieryArtemis (@FieryArtemis). Now I’ll freely admit that even with stories I vote on and praise, it’ll often take me weeks to get back to reading past chapter 1 because A: there are so many talented authors out there and B: I’m terrible at managing my own free time. This story was so good I zipped right through five chapters in about ten minutes and that doesn’t happen with a story I didn’t truly, genuinely like.

From the very first line of dialogue and the description of the scene, the main character Lena has a feisty streak that just makes you want to root for her before the end of the paragraph. The story follows Lena, the daughter of a simple village farmer, who has dreams of doing more than just settling down, breeding, and carrying on in the same old boring farm life she’s always been stuck in. When a special hunter called a King’s Ranger shows up in the village, she might just have her chance for real adventure.

What I loved most about this story was the finesse and passion with which Lena is written. Nothing’s just handed to her but you really do get the sense that she’s going places through her zeal and sense of adventure alone. At the same time, the author does a great job setting up a brutal, realistic setting you know isn’t going to give Lena anything for free. I’d highly recommend all of you check it out. Link to story:


I would love some feedback on my story!
Title: The Legend of the Moonflower Princess
Genre: Fantasy, Epic Fantasy, High Fantasy
Chapters: 15

I hope you enjoy reading it!


hey there! would you mind checking out the first chapter of my storydear percocet, i don’t think we should see each other anymore? it’s not a terribly long chapter but i’ve hit a pretty big writers block and i think some feedback and advice might be able to get me back on track :slight_smile: thank you so much!