Andy's Expanded Analysis Service Center, 1st Chapters Free (Temporarily Closed)



It’s all good. I’ll be sure to look over it and give a detailed report within 24 hours.


Awesome thank you so much!


I would love to get your thoughts on my first ever attempt at sci-fi. It’s a story called Us, Broken. Its got a futuristic vibe with robots.

Here’s the link:


Hey guys, so I’ve probably gone through about 30 something chapters this past week, all with more or less the exact same template. To avoid getting into a routine no one likes, I want the people in this thread whose work I’ve read to vote as a sort of quality control on the reviews I’ve been giving.

Because I use the same template, I really want to make sure I know if people feel confused or in any way dissatisfied with how my reviews are formatted now before I end up using it 30 something more times.

Leave your opinions in the poll below. Are my reviews to your liking? Too vague? Too harsh? Too nitpicky, leave your rating below and feel free to reply either here or in a PM. Feel free to vent in as many words as you would please in your responses, I’ve gotten rather good at speed reading high volumes.

  • Awful, I’m more confused than when I started
  • Eh, I guess I learned a few rather obvious things…
  • It was passable
  • The feedback helped point a few things out
  • This really opened my eyes!

0 voters


I liked your feedback a lot, but I came with a rather specific request so it wasn’t ‘eye-opening’ but really confirming what I was thinking about all the time :slight_smile: with that said it helped me a lot. I don’t think that you have been too vague or nitpicky (you taught me that word - I love it hihi) but rather comprehensive. I guess as I asked for a PM you maybe would have been more tempted to do some inline comments with other stories?

Not sure about that, but I actually braced myself for a far more harsh and brutal feedback (maybe that was also a bit of anxious striking) but in fact, your tone is brilliantly polite. I expected there’d be more issues that you point out, but that’s why I can’t give myself feedback. I’m doubting and emotionally involved on a whole different level. Thanks once again to do so many reviews at all! :slight_smile:


That makes me glad to hear! I’m glad to know it helped. And I’m an author too, I empathize with that harsh review anxiety so I try to be nice. Of course, if I think writing’s subpar, I will list out everything I think would improve stuff cause otherwise feedback is meaningless.

Also, having learned multiple languages, I check everyone’s profiles and if I notice english isn’t their first language I try to be nicer about the simple language issues. Getting belittled for things no non-native speaker could possibly be expected to know sucks… I would know.


I mean I wouldn’t have minded just quoting a bunch of examples line by line but that really would have been nitpicking and I imagine it would have been obnoxious for you to track down all the little lines. Sorry, weekdays I tend to be slower but I will be going through the reading list of stories I thought were especially promising.


Don’t worry about it. I really take every advice I get, but as a hobby author it sometimes is a thin line between getting home after a long workday and enjoy yourself while writing or just put together a bundle of errors you know you can do better. Right now I take the feedback I get from the early chapters and see if I can already incorporate it in the ones I’m currently writing. Just to make it easier for the second run of error elimination. My first priority is finishing the story as it already outgrew my estimated numbers - but: I am on it. :slight_smile:


I’m sort of on the fence. It was feedback I’d gotten before. I only recently had a way to fix it.


I see. Well I hope it doesn’t tread too much familiar ground. Usually though I like it when I start getting feedback on similar points by different readers cause then I get a better idea of what really is hurting the story compared to what’s just a personal taste. If I don’t like something but I recognize it’s really subjective, I always make sure to put a disclaimer saying the technique’s probably good, I just personally don’t like it.


I fixed it. just can be frustrating cuz I generally don’t know how to fix said thing. as soon as I get one, I generally jump on it and make the change.


Given that I just told you a bunch of things to do on your story, this might be confusing but you don’t always have to do everything readers say you probably should. At the end of the day, if it doesn’t feel right to you personally and other readers don’t seem to mind it, it’s probably a subjective quibble you can ignore if you choose to.


no, it was feedback I’d gotten before. I just hadn’t known how to act on it, so… yeah…


Well, if you ever feel particularly frustrated, feel free to send me a message with your questions. I can go as far as to give example text of how I’d write something to give you inspiration. Also, feel free to call me out if you think some advice I gave is nonsense.


I was gonna ask you to look at my new start. want my friend to finish it first, though.


oh, yeah. I ask if I can’t understand the why.


I’m glad. And I’ll be sure to keep an eye on your story and comment on the improvements.


If you could give me your opinion on my first chapter I’d love that! :slight_smile: thank you so much if you decide to check it out!


I’d really like some feedback on the first chapter of my second WIP. I’ve rewritten it a few times, but it still doesn’t feel right yet.

Because it’s fantasy, and it doesn’t really begin with any action, I’m worried if the chapter one is interesting enough? Does it make you care about the character and also give a little insight to their world?

There’s also another question bugging me. Something along the lines of credulity, but you’d have to read the chapter first for my question to make sense.

So, here’s the link:’s-tale

Thank you so much for this!


Hi! I’d appreciate it if you could read the first chapter of my book, Shards. It’s in the Short Story genre, and it also has fantasy elements.
Here’s the link:
Thank you!