Blurb help

Any comments/suggestions on the following blurb? It’s not for a query. This is the blurb that is submitted to Amazon with the cover and novel. The name of the novel is “High School Massacre.” Thanks.


Lincoln Steele, the ex-Special Ops Army Ranger turned Private Investigator, receives a call from Elena Bargas, an ex-girlfriend who vanished from his life when she walked out on him years earlier. There was a horrific high school shooting in her town and everything points to her son being the mass murderer. She begs Steele to prove that it wasn’t her son.

Steele goes to the small Arizona town near the Mexican border. Waiting for him on both sides of the border is corrupt law enforcement, drug trafficking, sex slavery, extortion, and murder.

In this second novel of the successful Lincoln Steele series, Steele does what he does best — get to the truth and make the guilty pay.

For the first sentence, you have:

Having the “the” there makes it sound like he’s the only ex-SpecOps turned PI. Wouldn’t “an” make more sense, or does this have a reason?

Other than that, that blurb is actually really enticing. I’d read it if it were my genre.


I have one question, though. Are Amazon blurbs different than Wattpad blurbs, and if so, how?

I use “the” when it’s specific and “a” when it’s not. In this case I’m referring to a specific person.

I don’t know if Amazon and wattpad are different. Does wattpad allow blank lines between paragraphs? Are there different maximum number of words? Why are you asking?

Thanks for the feedback.

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Ah, I see. But then, for Elena, you use “an”. Though I may just be seeing this all wrong.

I’m mainly asking what the difference in content would be, not the sheer numbers of how the site works. If a blurb you’d craft for Wattpad would be set up differently than for Amazon, and for what reason.

I guess it’s what sounds right to me. How’s that for a vague answer? LOL

Steele is the main character. It’s the Lincoln Steele series (like the Jack Reacher or James Bond series). I guess it’s all about him so it’s very specific. But Elena is simply one of his many ex-girlfriends.

Now if Elena was the only ex-gf who walked out on him and that was important, it would be “the.”

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But by this logic, there’s no other ex-SecOps who became a PI and was important :thinking:

Yet, in the end, if it sounds right to me, go ahead.

I have done some adjustments, which hopefully take care of the pronoun problem :wink: as well

Thanks.