Blurbs are bane of existence. I am serious, that is why I need your help.
I tend to write smaller blurbs with some information revealed. I personally don’t like the blurbs where they describe both the MCs too much.
Here is my sample blurb:


“Teach me.” “Teach you what?” “Teach me how to be a bad boy.”

She wasn’t a good girl, and I was certainly not a bad boy. We were just us, and this is our story, and it all started with training to be a jackass.
You guys can see why I need help:
My MCs are:
Elias Rodriguez

  • a common in highschool
  • a bit of nerd with obsession with chemistry
  • In love with Andrea Lawson, a cheerleader.

Cynthia Crimson

  • head cheerleader
  • Andrea’s best friend
  • Elias’s neighbor
  • known as school party girl
  • No she doesn’t have a secret crush on him…yet
    So yeah, help!

Your title is good, but you could also consider:

The Jackass Trainer
The Bad Boy Coach and the Nerd

Elias Rodriguez has a crush on a cheerleader, but she has a thing for bad boys, not chemistry nerds. Lucky for him, the cheerleader’s best friend offers to coach him on how to be a jackass. Will it work out for him or will he find love in an unlikely place? Only time will tell.

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Oh god this is perfect! Thank you!

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You’re welcome

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“Teach me how to be a bad boy, Elias.”
“You’re not a boy, Cynthia, and I’m not a teacher. Now GET LOST!”

and then you might add a few words to link the short dialogue to the plot of the story, best done with a cliffhanger (and the title “training to be a jackass” is both a nice title and a good cliffhanger).

I crossed your first two lines (you like short blurbs, right?), I added the names of the two MC’s, a little attitude in Elias’s reply, I don’t think it’s necessary to mention what she’s not and what he’s not, it’s not appealing that they are “just us” either, so that can be left out too, same with ‘this is our story’, that’s what’s expected, so how can I say that I like your first attempt when I suggest to forget it all? I do like it, for being short and punchy, so you should keep that, but you do want to tell your readers what the story is about, so that’s what should be added.

Your gut feeling was right: no need to tell me that Elias is in love with Andrea or that Cynthia is known as a party girl: the story will tell us all we need to know, and also the surprise that they’ll fall in love in the end. But you might like it to tell me why Cynthia wants to become a bad boy:

To get rid of the annoying interest of Tom, Cynthia desperately needs attitude. Elias has lots of attitude, but he refuses to give it to anyone; he saves it all for Andrea, his girlfriend.

I hope this helps.

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Your suggestions are great! I will change my blurb…