Brooke's Comment Spam (Closed for catchup )

writing
feedback-offered
critiques

#1

Hi All,
I am here to offer feedback, comments, and proofreading help in the form of in-line comments! Recieving in-line comment feedback is a great, easy way to increase your reads via engagement (Wattpad will recommend your book more!). Also, I just like doing it.

I am happy to read any genre apart from fanfiction and horror! I will read one chapter and, if your chapter is crazy long, I will stop where I lose interest - and will comment when it was and why.

Payment:
Either a permanent follow
OR An honest read and comment on either my book “Lucas” or “Antihero”, whichever catches your interest the most!

FORM:
Title:
Genre:
Blurb:
Payment Completed:
Are you looking for feedback on something specific?

Ta all, love ya.


#2

FORM :
Title: The Prejudice Paradox
Genre: Mature Romance
Blurb:
“I believe we overstepped inappropriate when you informed me that you’ve imagined me naked quite a few times.”
“I have done no such thing.”
“Elaine…I’m sure you’re aware that people are the most sincere when they’re intoxicated.”

Elaine White is blinded by her vehement prejudice. She can’t seem to break down the walls that surround her. Walls made of preconceived notions and bias, towering up in all directions. From within Elaine’s comfortable facade, she has buried all of the painful memories from her past.

When Noah comes crashing into her world of fabricated happiness, he sees right through the steep walls enclosing her.

To an untrained eye, Elaine has it all: a steady job, amazing friends, and a loving family.

But Noah’s alluring green eyes are far from untrained.

However, all she sees when looking at the austere businessman known as Noah Brooks is a devilishly attractive enigma without any regard for how the real world works. The real world where people have to work for their prestige and money.

She couldn’t be any more wrong.

Payment Completed: I’m going to start reading Lucas right now.
Are you looking for feedback on something specific?
Character likability, if you get bored, if anything is confusing, etc.


#3

Thank you! Completed.


#4

Hi! Would you be able to take a look at one of my books?

Title: Lord Monticrox
Genre: Vampire
Summary/Blub: The world has been ruled by vampires for centuries adopting the title of ‘Lord’, ‘Lady’, ‘Overlady’ and ‘Overlord’. Humans are used only as tools and recourses throughout society and are controlled to be submissive to the dominant species. Cortez Blake, a human who is lucky enough to work in one of the trafficking hubs, despises the system, denouncing every vampire as a ‘Demons’. He is later forced to swallow his pride in accepting that not all vampires are as bad as they seem…
Payment Completed: Heading over now to follow you now!
Are you looking for feedback on something specific?: Mainly character and plot development

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/156901628-lord-monticroxexpression

I understand completely if this isn’t your cup of tea, but I will still permanently follow you regardless. There’s no rush! Feel free to be as honest or constructive as you like! I’d like some real honest feedback, I really want to improve my work.

Thank you! :blush:


#5

Done! Thank you :slight_smile: Your story reminds me of some yaoi vampire webtoon I read - nice!


Fellow Undiscovered Writers 7
#6

Title: Zaldizko
Genre: Fantasy
Blurb:
“I’ll find a way to save my brother. Do whatever the hell you want. I’m stealing your guns.”

Famine is a man determined to save his three brothers after they are tragically separated. His monastery home destroyed. Kidnapped to a foreign city called Apocalypse.

He will gun down malignant redback spiders, withstand a mind-sucking demon, survive a maximum security prison facility and fight a diabolical plot that is hell-bent on bringing radical change to his world called Sol. Do anything to reunite his family.

Lurking in the shadows is a fatalistic ego called the Black Rider.

Payment Completed: Yes. I’m looking forward to more updates for Lucas :smiley:
Are you looking for feedback on something specific?: Feedback is appreciated. I’m currently trying to narrow down to a niche category as I plan to self publish early 2019.


#7

Blood Bank manwha, that’s it. You should check it out, that’s what your story reminds me of! Might give you some inspo :heart_eyes:


#8

Hey! I hope my book is something you’re interested in??

Title: If Walls Could Talk

Genre: LGBT+ Romance/Coming of Age

Summary/Blub: ‘The decision to live a dream, or keep facing reality seems easy enough, but if you had that choice, what would you choose? The perfect paradise, or the trial of life? It seems easy enough. But dreams are often twisted and misconstrued; like a rumour; they could start out innocent enough, but put it on repeat, and you’ll start to notice the changes.’

Louis Stan had always been an outcast. There was no denying that the walls he had put up between himself and other people was the cause of this but being gay hadn’t helped either. However, being an outsider wasn’t his only problem.

Louis had always tried to see the light, even in the darkest times, but with each passing day, it got harder. He becomes more closed off. Not letting the light reach him.

But sometimes a voice is all we need to hear.

As the soft voice of a caring boy slips through his bedroom wall, Louis finds himself seeing little bits of that light again. But with it, Louis notices the darkness from the past, that he tried to move on from, starts to become illuminated.

Will this mystery boy help Louis bring down his walls, or will the past continue to haunt him?

Payment Completed: I didily, done followed you! And, let’s be honest, I’ll probably read all of your stories as well, ahah.

Are you looking for feedback on something specific?: I don’t really have anything specific in mind :slight_smile:

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/160402267-if-walls-could-talk

Thank you!


#9

Thank you, I am just making some cookies and will get to commenting shortly!


#10

Thankyouuuu! I am making some cookies rn, but will comment in a little while!


#11

I’ll give a read! Thank you!


#12

Greetings, since I don’t like to make people read something outside their interest, I’ll let you choose between two of my projects:

Warren Sisters: Paranormal Investigation
This is an urban fantasy/mystery/paranormal story of two sisters who investigate supernatural events which happen in their city which is also home of numerous criminals, outlaws and mafia syndicates. That means they fight danger from both natural and paranormal sources. Contains some humor and LGBT.

Tempest: The Champion
A science fiction story set in distant future. A radiance from impacted meteorite altered the genome of people in the area of impact, the so-called Castaways, giving them enhanced strength and durability, but also causing them to be born with various deformities. Then, equipped with artificial body parts which replace the faulty ones, they compete in a sport called Neoclash for money, fame and glory.
The story follows a genius, antisocial scientist and a malnourished, one-legged Castaway girl who join forces to achieve success in Neoclash, but they soon realize they got involved in a much more dangerous game which can change the fate of whole Europe.

I’m already following you :slight_smile: I’ll take a look at your “Antihero” story once I have less schoolwork and writing to do. Thank you!


#13

Oh, my! Now I’m craving cookies!


#14

Thank you for your helpful comments. I really appreciate them.


#15

Title: Lie To Me

Genre: Contemporary thriller

Blurb: Raven’s many talents have elevated her to a position of prestige far above that of the common criminal. But when she is embroiled in a plot to take down one of the most powerful men in the world, she finds that she may be in deeper than she can handle.

Kieran’s sharp mind and formidable influence are a deadly combination, and they have brought him far. But with power comes enemies, and even Kieran is, when it comes down to it, just a man.

Aidan is the fire to Kieran’s ice, the hotheadedness to his brother’s cool intellect, and the amalgam of their differences has proved nothing short of lethal. But then two young women enter the brothers’ lives, and Aidan is forced to reevaluate everything he thought he knew about Kieran and the hard-won empire that he has created.

Payment completed: I followed you, but I’m also looking forward to reading both of your stories!

Are you looking for feedback on something specific: No, not really, just any mistakes or errors that catch your eye (: and thanks so much for doing this!


#16

Hi there! I have finished yours, I read the prologue and managed to get about halfway through chapter one before my attention drifted. Check the comments for more info!


#17

Done! Loved it, you have a great character developed and clear story idea!


#18

Title: How To Make Friends and Conquer the World

Genre: Sci-Fi

Blurb: Earl Leeds is fourteen years old and despite being the heir to the throne of the City, is utterly underwhelmed with his life. He despises his school and the students who attend it. He can’t help but feel like the odd one out in a place where nothing is more important than being polite and following the rules. He is lonely and has no real friends, so he decides to make one (quite literally) inside his makeshift laboratory…

Payment Completed: Yup, have folllowed you :slight_smile:

Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Any feedback at all would be appreciated at this point


#19

Hey there, I had a look at Warren Sisters! Sorry I couldn’t comment as much as I wanted, your writing was near perfect!


#20

Had a read through chapter one! Very intrigued! Keep going, you have some great writing.