Brooke's Comment Spam (Closed for catchup )

writing
feedback-offered
critiques

#182

Title: The Heavenly Seal
Genre: Fiction - Romance
Blurb: Blue has prepared all her life to ascend the Holy Seat. Unfortunately, months before her turnover, the Elders from the Council deemed her unfit to claim her title. It’s not because of her gender, nor her age, but because of her unbroken seal.

Desperate, Blue sought the help of Diana, Mother Sun of Flame. Diana sent Blue to the Realm Golgiard; where she reckoned Blue would find her answers about the tradition unbreakable.

Together with her Santillians, Blue alights in the land most common, ready to break the only thing that keeps her from taking her title; love.
Payment Completed: Follow


#183

Done! A unique plot which I haven’t seen done before! I love the girlxgirl, since it’s not usually something I read. I would love to see some more characterisation of the MC though and a few more emotions, instead of being simply told what is happening. Including some more emotions of the MC will help readers relate to her and feel hooked into the story!


#184

Title: Innate
Genre: Horror/Romance
Blurb: Blix had never experienced true fear until that night. She had never felt dread curdling in the pit of her stomach. She never wanted this, it was beyond even the worst of her nightmares. And yet, there she was. Blix had never needed saving, but if she wanted to survive, there was a lesson she needed to learn. Fear is a powerful thing, but then again, so is love.
Payment Completed: Yes!
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? I’m not too bothered about grammar because it’s easy to go back and edit, but anything else really.


#185

Title: Forever Too Far
Genre: Paranormal
Blurb:
Payment Completed: Yes, I read Antihero
Are you looking for feedback on something specific?

I am loooking for criticism actually. If you know what I mean (characters, dialogue and etc…)


#186

Done! Such a unique plot and idea, I honestly wasn’t expecting that! I cannot wait to see where you take it. Your writing was so descriptive and you were careful not to info dump. Loved it!


#187

Done! Really unique characterisation which I loved! There were a lot of funny names to remember, but I liked them :slight_smile:Your writing was great and easy to read, with the only consistent issue being wordiness! Your cover is gorgeous too!


#188

Thanks for all the great feedback!


#189

Title: Honoured
Genre: Action / Fantasy
Blurb: The Great Dragon awakens…

Li Jun had never been in control of her life. Between attempting to find a suitor that would accept her past, and looking after her ill father, Jun had never had a taste of true freedom.

When the Ozawa Clans attack, it is announced that one man from every family must join the army to defend the country. With the only surviving man of the Li family being ill, Jun takes it upon herself to masquerade as Li Jing and take her father’s place to become a soldier.

Life in the army isn’t all that great, but between her new friends, including the blossoming companionship with the Captain, and her newfound confidence, Jun might just stand a chance in helping defeat the Ozawa Clans and face a prophecy from long ago.

…and the land will be engulfed in flames.
Payment Completed: following!
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Not particularly. Any little bit helps c:


#190

Title: When the Autumn Comes

Genre: General Fiction/LGBT

Blurb:

「When the autumn comes, will you still be by my side?」

Jorden and Yihan’s world collided when they met in the mid-autumn.

Two people, whose personalities were polar opposites of each other.

A story about two boys who met in the autumn, and eventually left each other on the same day next autumn.

Payment Completed: Yep, followed and I will check out your book ^^

Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Characterisation, flow, pace, anything that you want to include. Thank you so much for offering this service! ^^


#191

Title: Wrecking Havoc
Genre: For the NatGeo competition its a short story
Blurb: Like a tornado, wrecking havoc to every place that it touches, leaving nothing in its wake but ruins.

Unrelenting and fatal, it spreads death and destruction across the globe.

So what is the name of this merciless killer, you ask. Plastic.

We have turned our oceans into global garbage cans, causing the ever-increasing number of deaths of aquatic flora and fauna. If there’s anything we need to destroy, its plastic itself.

Destroy or be destroyed. It’s that simple.
*Payment Completed:*Permanent follow


#192

Title: Crazy Little Thing
Genre: Teen fiction
Blurb: Alia Prescott’s summer plans consist of sleeping in, packing for college, and avoiding her annoying sister at all costs. What she doesn’t expect is to find herself on a road trip across the country with long-time family friend Connor Mills, whom she also hasn’t happened to see in ten years.
Payment Completed: i’m just about to leave a comment on one of your books!
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? i think i can fix the grammatical errors on my own, i mainly need feedback on the story plot. thank you!


#193

username: @sardonicrubbish

https://www.wattpad.com/631685863-wait-since-when-are-we-friends-other-mildly

Title: “wait, since when are we friends?” & other mildly awkward questions

Genre: teen fiction

Blurb: A story about friendship and navigating the bittersweet phase of life that is adolescence, all through the points of view of your favourite cliché character archetypes: Shy Asian Girl (Viola), Popular Blonde (Ashley), Sporty Tomboy (Thalia), Secretly Sensitive and Romantic Jock (Luke), Quiet Edgy Music Prodigy (Dean), Boy Next Door (Sam), and the Hot New Kid (Will).

Payment Completed: I’ll follow you, but I’ll also try to check out one of your books

Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Readability (is it confusing?), interest levels (is it boring?), and do you like the characters?

If you only do one chapter, do you think you could start with just doing my last one? But if that would be too confusing for you, I totally understand :))

Thanks so much!


#194

Done! Really nice idea :slight_smile: You need to split your dialogue up, but otherwise it’s a good read!


#195

Done! Wish I could have helped more but your writing was clear and concise. I did feel that the first chapter was a little slow, but i imagine that is due to introducing the action and, maybe, acting as a contrast to how her life will be from now on!


#196

Thank you in Advance:)


#197

Done! Really loved your writing and the descriptions you use! Can’t wait to see where it goes as it’s one of my favourite LGBT ones I have read so far :slight_smile:


#198

Done! Wish I could have helped more but it was overall really nicely done. So sad i hate what we have done to the ocean :confused:


#199

If there’s anything you didn’t like or think I should change, let me know. And thanks!


#200

Done! You have a clear writing style which I love!


#201

If anything I wish it were a bit longer!