Brooke's Comment Spam (Closed for catchup )

writing
feedback-offered
critiques

#41

I know… only three of them are complete, tho.


#42

Title: Off The Edge

Genre: Short Story

Blurb: Max had always wondered what he saw in that girl, what part of that monster he loved when they were little children. Now age 15 and sick of pretending, Max takes a hiking trip up to the mountains with his devilish twin, Maleen. This time, he has two secrets up his sleeve: one about his sister and one about himself. What she doesn’t know: both are secrets to kill for.

Payment Completed: Yes, I’ve followed.

Anything Specific: What did it make you feel, plot, what did you think of the pacing, characters, or anything you think I did well or anything I need to improve on.

Thank you in advance! :blush:


#43

Hi! I would really appreciate it if you could look over the first chapter of my story!

Title: 24 Hours
Genre: Chicklit
Blurb: Eden Bohmer has 24 hours left to spend with her best friend Terrence Cho before she moves away to start a new life. Terrence Cho has 24 hours left to tell his best friend Eden Bohmer that he’s in love with her and to convince her to stay.
Payment Completed: yes! I followed you
Anything specific: not really! probably just the general flow and your take on the characters!

(P.S. this story swears if you’re okay with that!)

Thank you for your consideration! :slight_smile:


#44

Hello :smile: There is a book I’m currently writing. Some mafia love-hate kind of thing. I hope you can check it out in case you find some free time. Well if you do pleaseeeee tell me what you think.

Title: Static Hearts
Genre: romantic drama
Blurb: She was born a queen, with indisputable power, great intelligence and unparalleled charm. Reina, the daughter of an Italian mafia mob, lost her childhood due to the treacherous acts of people who surrounded her. Now she is in pursuit of the only thing she can’t have… a normal life.
He watches her every move, following his prey like a predator would.
Treating life as a chess game, able to understand people’s deepest thoughts, ruthless to her enemies, and kindest to her close ones… that is Reina Romano, the woman who makes someone’s heart tremble in fear while someone else’s throb in excitement. With so many men trying to control her will she succeed in gaining the so much wanted freedom?
Payment Completed: yep
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? just an overall opinion. feel free to point out any mistakes or things that don’t fit, but also tell me about the things you liked in the book.


#45

Hello! Can I still enter?

Title: Afterlife
Genre: General fiction / Humour
Blurb: When someone dies, they enter the Afterlife. There, they unlearn the imprint of their past life to move on to the next one, with no knowledge of who they once were. Except Camille Sobel, who won’t stop returning to the Afterlife as an incredibly average french woman with a seemingly mysterious goal. And no matter what the two rather stoic and pessimistic guardians of the Afterlife do, it seems her imprint only grows stronger.
Payment Completed: commented (and added to my library bc I’m really curious now :p)
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Maybe I should point out that english isn’t my first language so if there’s words being used, well, weirdly please do point out (as well as typos and all that, I really appreciate ppl pointing that out!), but other than that nothing too specific :slight_smile: many thanks in advance! xx


#46

Done! Really unique story I haven’t seen many like it around Wattpad.


#47

Really great! Had me going wtf these two are insane, but in a good way? IDK maybe I am destined to hell


#48

Done! Such a sweet story so far and a really unique opening! Loved it.


#49

Thank you so much!


#50

FORM :
Title: Breaking the Heartbreaker
Genre: Teen Fiction
Blurb:
When Everett Dawson has broken enough hearts, three girls decide that it is time for revenge.
Eden Kennedy, Viola Wu and Naomi Williams have nothing in common, except for the fact that, they’ve all had their hearts broken by Everett Dawson, the school’s playboy.
Deciding that they’ve had enough and its time for Everett to have a taste of his own medicine, they determine that there is only one person who can help them.
That person?
The new girl, Serena Martinez.
Unfortunately, these girls have no idea what they’re getting into.
Throw in a revenge plan, a makeover, a bet, a hot player, a Halloween party and his cute best friend and what do you have?
A complete disaster.
And a lot of drama.

Payment Completed: In progress! Would love to give feedback on your stories :slight_smile:
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Mostly just general feedback, how the plot’s going, any spelling/grammatical errors? Anything you can provide :slight_smile:


#51

Thanks for offering this service!


#52

@oldeamamo @theanaleao @Efflictim @HammerholdTales

Thanks for the requests everyone! I will be working on them tonight/tomorrow :slight_smile:


#53

All done! Great read and a nice title!


#54

You have great writing, better than most (and English isn’t even your first language!). You didn’t have any spelling mistakes I noticed, however I did point out a few things asking about word adjustments etc. Over all such a fun read!


#55

Done! Loved it, you have a really nice idea and great characterisation in such a small amount of time!


#56

Done! Really nice and intriguing!


#57

Title: Feather and Sword
Genre: Historical Fiction, Romance
Blurb: A forbidden romance, which takes place during World War II, under the rule of Germany.
Follow Adalicia on her adventure through wartime France and her experience in love with barriers as her soul, delicate as a feather, clashes with one as sharp as a sword.
Payment Completed: Yes
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Please check if it’s realistic and flows well.


#58

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it!! :smile:


#59

Title: Ether Roots
Genre: Fantasy
Blurb: Ten years of hiding has given Anna Coleman one thing she can count on: anonymity. She’s a ghost, blending in. Forgetful. Forgotten. Safe.

After disappearing a decade ago, Anna believes her past and its horrors are truly behind her, but heritage is impossible to shake. Especially one revolving around a Community far removed from normal society where reality bends at the whims of Witches and lesser gods.

Anna may pass as a human. She may walk and talk like the None-ether Sensitives filling the streets of New York, but she is far from safe. After one ill-fated encounter reveals her identity, Anna is dragged into the center of a desperate man’s struggle that will bring the Community to its knees, taking her with it in the process.
Payment Completed: Yes
Not looking for any specific feedback


#60

Done! A really nice unique story idea, and I ship them already.