Brooke's Comment Spam (Closed for catchup )

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critiques

#61

Done! Really, really nice book and such a great idea. I was definitely intrigued by the end of the chapter! I do recommend a new cover though, as it doesn’t do both the idea nor your writing justice!


#62

FORM:
Title: The Twisted Reality That is Life
Genre: Fantasy
Blurb: Life is fickle, something that may be there one moment… may be gone the next; a second is all that is needed to turn a normal life into something unrecognisable.
_ In light of a small mistake, her entire life will never be the same, she enters a darkness that she had no idea existed - with no way out._
In a world where a select few people have to unwillingly face a reality that is worse than death, how will a young girl manage to live and maintain her sanity? (Very bad blurb I know - I just can’t seem to write a good one!!)
Payment: I followed you and i’ll make sure to check out Antihero (it sounds interesting)
Thank you!!! :heart:


#63

Thank you! Finished! You have a really interesting book idea.


#64

Thank you soooo much, it was incredibly helpful!! :heart:
Also I don’t wanna be rude or ask too much, but would it at all be possible for you to check out my second chapter??
It’s much shorter than the first! :slight_smile:
Sorry,
Hehe :grin:


#65

No worries! I will add it to my list and check it out when I have free time!


#66

Title: Alienata
Genre: it’s supposed to be a short story for now
Blurb: a story about a group of boys and girls who find themselves in an abandoned hotel in the middle of the woods.
Payment Completed: I’m gonna check Antihero if you’re okay
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? not necessarily

This story is also on @leighyeann.

EDIT: I’ve just left a comment


#67

Thanks a lot!


#68

Would you consider if I gave comments on four chapters of Lucas, reviewing all four of my published chapters? (Chapter 1 begins after the cast) Let me know!

Title: THE GUYS’ girl
Genre: Young Adult Romance
Blurb:
5 HOT GUYS IN A BOY BAND + 1 LITTLE SISTER = ALL THE FEELS

Avery Taylor is sixteen when her family decides to follow her older brother’s boy band dream, moving her away from her small town and onto a worldwide tour. Unsure of her place, she feels destined to become the little sister mascot. What she doesn’t expect is for the five hottest guys in the music industry to bring her in as one of their own. Avery grows up on tour under the protection and watchful eyes of THE GUYS, becoming a friend, sister, confidant, and even a secret girlfriend.

But when heartache sends her searching for her identity apart from THE GUYS, will she find what she’s looking for?

And if she wants to return, can she find her way back to becoming their girl?
Payment Completed: Looking at Lucas now.
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? I know that the love story I’m going to tell will be worth the wait - but do you think readers will stay engaged? Have I set up the first few chapters well enough to hook the reader?


#69

Thank you for the critique and comments =D The cover I have at the moment is a WIP and will tie into the story further in. Can’t give it all away in the first chapter :wink:


#70

Thank you!


#71

title: Another Farytale
Genre: Romance
Blurb: " Once upon a time, sweetheart, I became yours and you became mine."

Vitora, after calling off her engagement, is faced with more tragedy which forces her to return to her native country. It is here that she sets out to create her own life story that’s not based off fairytales, but her encounters with the soon-to -be king contradicts her main goal. It is up to her to choose; either she lives on this fairytale version of her life OR keep her heart stowed away.

Payment Completed: I have followed you and I’m about to start reading ’ Lucas ’ now.


#72

FORM
Title: Enlightened
Genre: Fantasy/Romance
Blurb: Never go into the woods.

Don’t stray far from the citadel.

Do what the hierarchy demands.

Cora had never been a rule breaker until it came down to the fate of her mother’s life.

Once she ventured from her village and left behind her teachings, there was no turning back. She’s quickly thrust into the world of mythical creatures and magic-wielders, but it’s not by chance.

Drakon is awaiting her arrival to free him from a cave that’s been a prison for far too long. Will she fall for this beast once she realizes what he is and the reason for his captivity?

Payment Completed: Permanent Follow :slight_smile:


#73

Thank you! I noticed you commented on the prologue of Antihero - hope you can check out chapter one soon and let me know what you think!
Just finished commenting on Alienata - it was really interesting and very different to what I have read so far. Nice job!


#74

hey there! I don’t mind looking through a few chapters, but it will take a bit longer (and I might do a chapter then do another the next day!). I will add it to my critique list :slight_smile:


#75

Done!


#76

Done! You have a really nice idea here and I will keep reading in my own time to see how you progress it, especially with such short, bite-sized chapters.


#77

Done! A nice opening, a little cliche, but I can see how it can work for your book! Good work.


#78

Done! Great writing, only a few things I wrote about! I can’t believe you have nearly 11 books planned for the series :slight_smile:


#79

Okay. Thx.


#80

Title: Gods Dawn : Time Code
Genre: Action/Mystery
Blurb: … Were all events what was really fought for, or just a prelude to a great spectacle aimed at reversing people’s curiosity to seek to know the truth? On the other hand, it could also be the foundation of what was to come, something that only a few and the most influential people could know seeing in this perfect situation, not to be only the richest people who had power over everything, but the chance to become Gods .

*Payment Completed:*Completed

Are you looking for feedback on something specific?
I am interested in the opinion whether the novel begins to be interesting or not. I would like a sincere response from the reader’s point of view