Brooke's Comment Spam (Closed for catchup )

writing
feedback-offered
critiques

#81

Hey there, completed! Check the comments for my opinions :slight_smile:


#82

ok thx :slight_smile:


#83

TITLE Bullets and Worms
GENRE Horror
BLURB A short story about a fugitive cowboy on the run. But before any man can catch him, a question pops up out of nowhere. Can shadows kill ?
PAYMENT I’ll follow you and check out Antihero

FEEDBACK I’m curios if you like the story. Also, please let me know if you think the story could be the first one in a collection of short stories based on the same theme.


#84

Title: LEAD ME ASTRAY

Genre: Paranormal Romance

Blurb:

A SUPERNATURAL PASSION COMPELS THEM

Aurie Edison has unfinished business in Overlay City, where a powerful creature is after her. Bad time to develop a kink for her psychic medium, Mx. Mys. She also has a thing for her protector, Detective Zyr Ravani. Asking for a love triangle right now is like begging for floods and forest fires. A disaster, naturally.

Good thing Aurie’s already dead.

Only Detective Zyr Ravani can solve what happened to her. But he burns out of control for Mx. Mys and Aurie’s ghost. Now his credibility is in question. With his career in the balance, the line between crazy and love is a tightrope walk on the wild side.

And Zyr knows a thing or two about wild.

Mx. Mys is a genderqueer seductrexx who wants to believe in magic. Like the fairytale of happily ever after. A dangerous suspect already has Aurie in their sights, and Detective Zyr might not survive this investigation. No matter how it ends, Mys knows they need each other. They’re all they’ve got.

In a world where nothing is what it seems, have they found something real?

Snuggle up this fall with this paranormal romance treat. #ItsYourTime #ReadHappy

Payment Completed: I’ve given you a permanent follow and added Antihero to my reading list. Thanks, much!

Are you looking for feedback on something specific? Nah. Just tell me what you like, if you like it, and give critical feedback where you think necessary.


#85

Completed. Thanks for your comments on antihero!


#86

Thank you for the helpful comments on my story, BrookeKuipers. I really appreciate your help.


#87

Done! Loved it! I actually added it to my library to read later :slight_smile:


#88

Thanks so much, Brooke! Much appreciated :grinning:


#89

bump!


#90

Is an open FF okay? No fandom knowledge is required :slight_smile:


#91

Title: McKinley Military Academy

Genre: Romance

Blurb: N/a

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/161541631-mckinley-military-academy

*Payment Completed:*commented on story Lucas.


#92

https://www.wattpad.com/story/161473184-the-outerworlds
Title: The Outerworlds
Genre: Fantasy
Blurb: I do not yet have a blurb I am pleased with, unfortunately. I need to work on this.
Payment Completed: Yes! :smiley:
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? I mostly just want the plot and pacing looked into since I already know my writing style, grammar and such can use work. Though Feel free to attack me over my poor writing! I’ll never learn otherwise. XD


#93

Yes, no worries!


#94

@TheMCOfficial @GoldenGeese

Thank you! I will get to those sometime today or tomorrow (Uni classes are calling, ugh).


#95

Thank you so much :heart:


Title: The Crossing Destinies
Genre: Open Fanfic, action, adventure, fantasy
Blurb: A priest, demon, and boy walk into the bar… Wait, this isn’t a joke!

Priest Shadow’ peaceful life is disturbed by an increasing number of possessed people. During his midnight patrol, he finds mischievous boy Sonic when the priest senses the source of great darkness.

Shadow has no choice but to send Sonic to his church on his own while he heads deeper into an abandoned part of the town.

However, dealing with a demon may be Shadow’s least worry, as a terrible secret locked in his body resurfaces, turning his life upside down.

Not to mention, a new enemy shall appear, relentlessly pursuing our priest. One determined to not stop until he achieves his goal; to hold Shadow in his cold, merciless grasp.

One night changes all…
Payment Completed: Follow and I added both stories to my reading list, I’ll try to check them later :wink:
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? I never know :rofl: I suppose plot, how it flows, dialogues, and if characters are somehow memorable :smile:

OR/AND (depends what catches your interest)

Title: Silver Darkness
Genre: Open Fanfic, action, adventure, sci-fi
Blurb: Silver the Hedgehog wishes for nothing more than to be a normal hedgehog. But no, he has to be psychic and time-traveler to the boot. Because of his unique abilities, he is sent to close wacky time&space ripping portals, preventing any casualties and overlapping of dimensions. His latest quest leads him to a deserted planet. Before he can close the portal, he gets unexpected guests in a form of half-brothers trying to kill each other. But their dispute has to be postponed, as the planet is approached by a huge spaceship bringing grave danger.

Payment Completed: Follow and I added both stories to my reading list, I’ll try to check them later :wink:
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? I never know :rofl: I suppose plot, how it flows, dialogues, and if characters are somehow memorable :smile:


#96

Just a quick question.

I was hoping that maybe I could put your name in my ‘chapter of people this chapter is dedicated too’

I understand if you say no. I was just asking


#97

Title: Summer Rain
*Genre:*Romance
Blurb: The one thing Eleanor Blaese knew with absolute certainty in her life was how much she absolutely DESPISED Jace Sharpe. Of course, it was her luck that her best friend since she was 5 years old was Zachary Hudson. And Zachary Hudson was best friends with the fucking devil.

Part of the perks of being best friends with a famous band is going on tour. After years of begging, Zach finally convinced Elle to go on tour with him and his band. And his band included Jace - the boy she spent the good part of the last 7 years warring with. The past year put her life in a tailspin and Jace might be a bigger part of her future than she imagined - in more ways than one.

Payment Completed: About to read Lucas
Are you looking for feedback on something specific? I just want to see how I’m doing and what you think! Thank you so much for doing this :slight_smile:


#98

Done! Sorry it took so long! Uni ended up being crazy. Overall really nice writing, I actually didn’t get to make a lot of comments. However, I did mention some things about the plot I think you could work on! Great writing.


#99

All done! Really nice idea, you just need to work on the execution! Great job!


#100

Nice job! Literally never thought the day would come where I would be reviewing a Sonic the Hedgehog FF but here I am. Lol.