Can anyone help me with my blurb?


#21

A blurb is that little bit on the back of a papaerback book that gives you an idea of what the book’s about and entices you to read it.

On Wattpad, it’s that little bit next to the cover. The first sentence or so is what shows without clicking on it, so you want that first sentence describing your book to be something that at the least, won’t make someone skip it all together.

The best way to see is to look up your book, see what users see.

For myself, “John was the bad boy,” turns me off. For others who like bad boy stories, it would draw them in. You have to know your audience. It’s kinda hard sometimes making it hook a reader without giving away the plot.


#22

thx 4 the insight


#23

It’s something like 62 characters (inc. spaces) that you can see next to the book cover (I counted) so I wondered if I could fit the main bit in that. Unlikely.

You say you’d cut it down to a paragraph. I’m interested by this suggestion…

Would you rather:
A. Have everything in one paragraph.
B. Have information with lots of white space in between.

The reason I ask is because a combination of work emails and Wattpad reviewers have taught me that people only read blocks of text (even if it’s one measly paragraph) if they’re committed and focussed. Otherwise their eyes skate over it. Do you find otherwise?

I do really like your blurbs actually - I’ve just looked at them. They’re succinct, packed with information and interesting. I’m quite picky, I never know if I’m going for something generic enough to appeal to a lot of people or whether I’m just writing something I like. There is no way I will ever read a book if the blurb ends with something trashy like ‘Join Bill and Ben as they go on a journey of discovery!’ and I’m never putting that in one of my blurbs either. It’s heinous.

Also yes, totally siding with you and the king of Troy. Why shouldn’t I have a love story tucked away in my novel? Thank you.


#24

Thank you! That’s ultra, ultra, mega helpful. I’ll poke my blurb with a stick until it resembles something appealing.


#25

Yes, white space is very important. For some reason, whether it’s a resume or a marketing advertisement, people love…emptiness lol!! I think it helps them to focus in on what’s most important. But also, most people will at least read the first sentence if the cover gets their attention. After that, they may or may not read the second and third. But whatever you do, make sure that you give them enough interest within the first couple of sentences to cause them to want to click “more” next to the shortened version of your blurb. In fact, from what I have seen, marketing your story on Wattpad has these steps:

  1. Get people to see your story: Social media, reads, follows, community, contests (I suck at this part)
  2. Get people to notice your story and read the truncated blurb: your cover
  3. Get people to click “more” to read the rest of your blurb: the first one or two sentences of your blurb
  4. Get people to read the first chapter: the rest of your blurb
  5. Get people to read the rest of your book, and maybe vote or comment: your narrative

#26

Also, yes I am with you. A blurb should never “tell” the reader to do anything (Join so and so on their adventure, read more to find out…etc…etc…) In fact, actually had to change my first blurb which originally read “Meet Denisa and Nicolai…” I mean, what if the reader didn’t WANT to meet Denisa and Nicolai lol!! So I shortened it to simply “Denisa and Nicolai. The only remaining members of…” The first version just came across too cheesy to me. The second still immediately tells the reader from the start that these two characters are extremely important and the focus of the story without giving the reader instructions. That said, on my second book, for a while I had a teaser blurb up which simply asked the reader a situational question which hinted at the events in the book without giving away too much detail. It originally read:

How far would you go to save the one you love from torture and certain death? How many atrocities worth committing? How much blood worth spilling? Is one life you so love and cherish worth more than the lives of countless thousands? What would it take to unleash the Darkness Within?

An ancient secret. A dark prophecy. A story of one man’s rise to become the greatest threat the world has ever known. A story of the extreme courage and sacrifice it would cost to stop him. Dies irae, dies illa!

*The harrowing sequel to The Foretelling, coming soon to Wattpad!

Once I finished the first book, I then went and updated the teaser blurb to slightly more revealing blurb you see now.


#27

Can I please take a moment to complain about how much I dislike Wattpad for this reason? It’s mainly frustration as a reader tbh, I know what I like to read but I can’t work out how to find it easily. Authors are expected to jump through a lot of self-promoting hoops when a better tag/genre system would help them find their audience in no time at all.


#28

I’m glad you removed that ‘Meet…’.


#29

I’ve tweaked it only a little and I can’t decide if it needs heavier hints about the plot. I still have mixed feelings about a synopsis as a blurb.

Once there was magic, but then came war…

Leander just wanted to forget the army now he’d left it behind him, but war had dogged the country for the past thirty years and forgetting it was nigh impossible, especially when it looked unlikely to finish any time soon. Pretty, clever and vivacious, Miss Harper was surely the perfect distraction. If only she would give him the time of day…

Unfortunately Miss Harper only had eyes for her big promotion (in whatever that job of hers was) and Leander didn’t feature in her plans. All she was interested in was magic, something nobody took seriously, and the fate of the nation. Drunk and desperate, he made one final wild attempt to be noticed by her.

Magic, it transpired, was a little more serious than Leander had bargained for, and if he thought he’d escaped the war he was about to find himself back in it, and deeper than before.

Nothing was more dangerous than a sorceress when you’d got on her bad side.

I also dislike some of the phrasing, but that can change. Anyone got any more thoughts?


#30

I agree. It’s not just a frustration to the writer but also to the reader. I get so many recommendations on the front page and I’m like…ummm…no…none of these actually interest me… Meanwhile I bet there are other books out there that would interest me far more. In fact, there is one on my reading list which is actually very well written and conceived and has so few reads (The Red Queen Chronicles by L.K. Quon a.k.a @missliny). But…there are whole other threads dedicated to why great books go unnoticed while not-as-great books are so heavily featured, that I won’t belabor it here.


#31

I really like how it begins and ends. I would try to extract a single point and focus on that. The point which appears to be the fact that to mentally escape the never ending horrors of war, one soldier finds what he hopes to be the perfect distraction in the brilliant and ambitious, though often overlooked, Miss Harper. However, as he attempts to win her heart, little does he know that his affection for this aspiring sorceress is about to plunge him deeper into the chaos of war than he ever bargained for.

Or something like that lol!!!


#32

That blurb for The Red Queen Chronicles would have put me off, but anything that’s been recommended is worth trying.


#33

Yeah, the blurb for Red Queen Chronicles does need some work, I think it was simply the title that caught me on that one. Actually, I don’t even remember reading the blurb lol!!


#34

I suggest

Try changing the order here. All she was interested in was the fate of the nation, focusing on how magic could save them.

Remove the word “final” in-

And put this action up with Leander because it’s his action, instead of putting it with Miss Harper’s actions.

I really like this part. Keep it!

However, it’s a run-on sentence. Period after “had bargained for,” capital “If” and comma after “escaped the war.”

Reading something out loud is one of the best ways to figure run-ons and where a comma might be needed. Just pay attention to the difference between what you wrote and how you read it.