Character Reactions



“Hi… Now quit staring at me. I’m not your mom.”

React to: A unicorn flying out as soon as they open their wardrobe/closet.


Closing the wardrobe: “Hmm, I suppose it was bad idea to dye walls with closed window leaf”.

React to the phone is calling and someone says that he want some pizza and embraces.


“Fuck off bro. I’m taken”

RT: “I really enjoyed today, mi’lady. Perhaps we should go vampire hunting again…”


“Well, darling, here’s a plot twist. I’m a vampire too! (JK, JK)”

React to: phone dying in the middle of an epic video/video game


“Aw, come on!”

React to: Bananas raining from the sky on your way to work


knocks a stall over while running to take shelter

RT: “Don’t take another step towards me, mortal. You’ll regrettt ittt!”


“Oh gods!” tries to figure out what to do “Um, is it bad if I accidentally trip and fall onto you?”

RT: “That was your WORSE plan yet! Really, jumping out of an airplane out of all things!”


“It was fine, though! You’re only throwing a hissy fit because you damn-near fell off the cloud!”

React to: “Hey, it says gullible on the ceiling.”


“Get on your back and read it to me then.”

React to: “Hey man, sorry to tell you this, but I slept with your mom last night.”


stares. mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. “I’m not surprised you cheated on me. I’m surprised my mother betrayed me. I’m surprised my mother cheated on my father.”

React to: “I didn’t consider it cheating, because we were never dating.”


“Well that takes away the impact of me telling you of all the boys and girls I’ve fucked since getting with you too then. Fine, but I worked hard on the painstaking speech that you were about to get. So fuck you, I hope I never see you again, I do, but no one walks away from me without being punished. I cheat on you, not the other fucking way around so get on your knees bitch!”

React to: “either you pull the trigger or I do. one bullet and one of us is going down.”


“I hope you forgive me in the afterlife, then.”

React to: “I didn’t think you cared about me. So why are you helping me now?”


“I help you, you help me. It’s called democracy. Or communism. Fuck the government, just let me help you.”

React to: “You’re the equivalent to the scum on my $1000 shoes”


suddenly bursts out into rare laughter “I didn’t know narcissistic personality disorder went hand in hand with delusional lunatics.”

React to: “I thought you hated me?”


“Who said I didn’t? I don’t need to love you to lay you in my bed. I don’t need to feel anything.”

React to: “Wanna go for a spaghetti dinner? On me.”


“Sure. So long as it isn’t some cheap old restaurant. If that’s the case, I’d rather eat at home, thank you very much.”

React to: “Did you really just do that? Really? I thought you were better than that.”


“You watched me. You saw it happen. You have eyes that are practically bleeding out of your fucking skull right now. You watched me do it and if you thought I was better than that than that was your own gods damned mistake.”

React to: “How do you feel about” eyebrow thing “Butt stuff”


“Um… You know what?.. Sure, there’s a first for everything and your ‘Butt stuff’ doesn’t sound that… bad. I’m pretty sure I’ll be alright, I’ve scarier sounding things.”

React to: “Hurry up and jump will you! you’re only going to fall 5,000 ft.”


“No no no. You should do the honors, I’ll see what happens.” Pushes person off.

React to: butterflies. Tons and tons of butterflies.


shoots himself

React to: “Yo guys I think I accidentally released a strain of the Ebola virus lol”