classy insults?



I need some classy insults for a character, which won’t detract from their kinda snobbish and charming personality.


also some good natured/playfully teasing insults would be appreciated too


Classy how?

“You should stop talking before you exhaust your entire vocabulary.” -classy


“You must be known in certain social circles. Especially where the necks red.”-classist?

“Amazon is having a sale, perhaps you could buy a better personality there.”


I don’t knows they’re all pretty good - I’m not all too great at insults in general… I like the first one best though.


‘What are you doing with your face? Are…are you trying to think?’

‘I heard an animal make that sound once…They had to put the poor thing down.’ (mostly for singing, laughing or talking)

‘You are definitely not ugly. But you’re not ready yet, either.’

…I…have no idea whether or not these could be construed as classy.


Classy or not they’re all beautiful anyway thank you! The more insults the better.


Omg the first one is what River tells the Doctor in ‘The Husbands of River Song”, and I think it’s amazing!!

One other thing is, e.g. when they’re acting childish - if (the thing they’re being stupid about) means so much to you emotionally, I am really worried about your mental well-being

Things like that, they’re fun to say, and comebacks are hard to find.


yessss thank you!


Aaaaaaw. I do not watch the Doctor as much as I should. And I call myself a science fiction fan smh. I’m a disgrace.

‘If you’re the smartest in your family it must be a rather small family.’

‘Three questions. Where’s your leash? Where’s your owner? And why doesn’t he groom you as often as he should?’

‘If you look closely at my glass of wine you can see it gravitating towards that particularly large woman over there.’


If you’re looking for one word insults try these:



ah yes ‘peasant’ is my favourite insult both in my stories and real life


Yes same, those three can be used interchangeably. :slight_smile:


you’ve broadened my insult range thank you


Theres a website for shakespearian insults. I cant look up the address right now, but you can google search it. Its a lot of fun.


Calvin and Hobbes taught me that one. Such a good word. That and fiend. Also taught to me by Calvin and Hobbes.


for someone doing something slowly :

“if you were doing that any slower, you’d be doing it backwards”


I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.

Did you gargle from the Fountain of Knowledge, darling?

She’s strutting around like a crow in a gutter

There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.


or Prat
‘You uncultured swine.’


Its nice to take inspiration from some of the sharpest wits in history. Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, and Winston Churchil were infamous for their snide insults.

What I learned from them is that it’s not so much what you say directly, but more about what you imply.

Heres a list of some of the greatest insluts:

My favorite so far is:
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.


“Anderson, don’t talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street.” —Sherlock