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#62

It’s about a boy who wants to clear his family name after they are disgraced by failing to protect the royal family. It’s got magic, romance and conspiracies as they were falsely accused. Grammarly eh? I will have to give it a go. Do you normally let the novel rest? Thank you so much for your help!


#63

I’ll have a list of title’s PMed to you

Grammarly isn’t the best but it does cut a few errors – the simple ones. Why I re-edit everything after I run it through once

If you know yourself well and think you might just end up slacking off if you gave the book a rest, I wouldn’t BUT if you’re not that type of person, go ahead! (At most take a week off of it though)

Happy to be of service!


#64

Thank you again! If there’s anyway I can repay you or help you just let me know:)


#65

oh no problem. thanks for the feedback i jus used the tag


#66

It’s all good, I’m just happy to help! (By the way, just send you the list)


#67

I hope you get a lot of reads : )


#68

Hi everyone :grinning:

I would love to get some help with the following:

Hi all,

I was asked this question but I really had little to answer. I write whatever I want to write about, not really caring for themes and and stuff. So this has me curious. How do you approach writing a story based on a quote.

This is the quote in question (if someone wants me to get specific)

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.

Jane Austen

What do y’all think?


#69

That quote usually gives off a hint of what your story “vibe” is like I guess. The quote you mentioned shows what type of person the main character is like and what type of writing style to expect; and yeah, as you mentioned, it does shows a “theme.” (I wasn’t really sure what exactly you were asking you you said “approach writing based on a quote” but I hope this answer is okay)


#70

Thank you. Yes, I suppose I get what you mean :blush:


#71

Hello! Are you still offering writing help? I’m not a native English speaker and I’m writing my first story, so I was wondering if you could check my grammar to make sure that everything is readable and doesn’t sound funny or strange. :>


#72

it’s good to give the book a rest, and then go back and reread what you’ve written. it’ll give you a new perspective on things, and enable you to do a better job at editing.


#73

Sure! What do you want to send it through? (PM or Docs work fine with me)


#74

Sure! What are you sending it through? (Pm/Docs work fine with me)


#75

You can read the first chapter here --> https://www.wattpad.com/story/170774412-pawprints

If after that you wish to continue helping, I’ll send you the new chapters through PM as I write them, but right now that’s all I have. xD


#76

Do you mind copying and pasting chapter 1 here? I can edit easier here and you can access it here easier too


#77

Ah, sure! :smile:

Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

The sun was shining for the first time in weeks, behind a thin, white layer of clouds, over the green landscapes of Bozeman, Montana, above a natural stream of water not far from town, surrounded by a myriad of trees, hidden from the noisy city life, only a few miles away.

It was Saturday. Nathan Campbell, who happened to live in this town, was finally out after a while. He used to share the house with two other males and his girlfriend, if she could be called that, but now that she had left and the guys had moved to a bigger city, he found himself all alone. No that he wasn’t used to being alone, he had left his parents home after dropping college and he was used to his ex coming and going as she pleased.

Nathan never came to enjoy his life in the city. He worked at night, slept the whole day, and whenever he had some free time he would walk out of town, just to let himself get lost into the wilderness and maybe smoke some weed, a bad habit he had picked during his college days and he hadn’t been able to drop since then.

This was one of those days, and he sat next to the running water, taking a look around as he picked the lighter out of his pocket. There was no sound to be heard, apart from the splash of water and the eventual chirp of birds, yet he spotted a patch of cream yellow hair at the other side of the stream.

Fuck! He thought, hiding the lighter in his pocket once again. The last thing he wanted was trouble. However, the more he stared at it, the more he realized the figure wouldn’t move.

“Hey!” He shouted, but there was no reply. Whoever they were, they remained unmoving.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He had somehow gotten himself into a crime scene. For a second he turned around, ready to leave as fast as he could, and yet a part of him that the person could be alive, that he was already too involved to just take his leave and pretend that nothing had happened.

Hesitant, he ran a hand over his stubble and then through his dark hair. He drew a deep breath and attempted to wade across the stream, without success, just to end up getting into the water, soaked to his tights, his clothes sticking uncomfortably to his skin.

When he pulled himself out of the stream, he noticed the unconscious person was fairly younger than he expected. It was a boy, probably not older than seventeen, of feminine features and — he hated to admit it — strangely beautiful. Nathan looked around again and then leaned down next to the boy, pressing his hands to his chest, feeling for a heartbeat. After feeling one, he held his hand to the boy’s mouth. The breathing seemed as normal as the heartbeat. Quickly, he cupped some water from the stream into the palm of his hands and poured it on the boy’s face.

The boy blinked a few times, slowly, his eyes still unfocused ass he looked at the man next to him.

“Wh… Where… I…?” He muttered, before all strength left his body once again.

There were red stains in his hair. Someone or something must have hit him in the head. The paleness of his face worried Nathan.

“Hey, come on!” Nathan spoke desperately. “Don’t black out on me!”

He looked around again. He didn’t know what to do. At the end he took the boy in his arms and began walking out of the forest. He let out several deep breaths. Nathan had a lean body, but there was something about carrying a male versus carrying a female that was making the situation much more difficult.

“Hang in there.” The man almost begged as they both got closer to the neighborhood. They approached a red car and Nathan placed the boy gently against it while he pulled a keychain with a pair of car keys among other types of keys and chains dangling from it, some for use, some just for fashion.

When the car unlocked, Nathan opened the back door. He suddenly noticed that his own pants were still soaking wet. Damn.

He picked the boy back up and placed him the backseat of the car, then hopped into the driver seat and pushed the key into ignition. Drive slowly, you fucktard. Stop panicking so much. He thought to himself, but the more he looked at the bleeding boy through the rear mirror the more he felt his heart racing.

The car stopped in front of the Emergency Room Entrance of the hospital. He quickly got out of the car and dashed into the hospital. Several of the hospital staff came out with a gray and white wheeling bed. The staff picked up the boy and placed him on top of the wheeling equipment. The boy’s heartbeat was becoming weaker by the time he got into the hospital and his consciousness was sinking more and more into the blackness of his mind. And yet, he didn’t want to give up. He wanted to see the person who had saved him, even if just for a moment.

.

.

.

Beep… Beep… Beep…

He woke up in a white room. A blinding light hurt his eyes as he fought to keep them open, and the sound of the medical equipment mixed with the voices outside the room. Meanwhile, in the hall, a woman in a white coat approached Nathan.

“The boy is recovering well.” She said in a gentle tone. “He had lost a lot of blood, but most of his wounds were superficial. He’ll get well after some rest. Though that wound on his head… We can’t be sure if there has been any brain damage until he wakes up.” She sighed. "You can see him of you want, just don’t disturb him.”

The woman accompanied him to the boy’s room and left. Nathan remained quiet, listening to the monitors beep stably to the rhythm of the boy’s heartbeat. There was something soothing about that faint sound.

With a sigh, he stared at the boy’s face for the first time since they left the forest. And just like the first time, he couldn’t help admiring the gentle curve of his lips, the pale skin under cream colored locks of hair. Aside from several scratches and bruises the boy looked like some porcelain doll.

A subtle smile appeared on the boy’s lips as he finally got to meet his savior. His cheeks were slightly flushed,maybe due to some fever, maybe due to embarrassment, and he quickly averted his gaze, too afraid of being rejected.

“Will you… Tell me your name?” His voice was weak but still very sweet.

“I—“

Before he had the chance to reply, another doctor entered the room.

“My, my… I thought you’d sleep for a few hours. Your recover exceptionally fast! It’s rather… Unusual. How are you feeling? Does your head hurt?” The boy simply nodded shyly. Then, the doctor seemed to finally acknowledge Nathan’s presence and turned to face him.

“I’ve been told you found this boy in the forest. Is that true?”

Nathan began to retell the events that took place earlier that day, careful not to make himself look any more suspicious than he already was.

“So you were taking a walk in the middle of nowhere?” The doctor raised an eyebrow. “I see… Have you reported to the police?”

“No, I had no idea what to do in this case.” Nathan was clearly upset.

“Well, the boy doesn’t have an ID or any other identification on him. And he’s clearly underaged. The police should open an investigation.” Once again the doctor turned his attention to his young patient. “What’s your name, boy?”

The boy remained quiet for a few seconds, staring intently at the two men. His face reflected all the shock the whole situation meant for him.

“I don’t know.”

Nathan ran a hand through his hair again. The doctor, however, remained calm.

“You don’t know?”

The boy shook his head in denial.

“What about your family? Can you remember where you lie?”

Again, the the boy took a moment to think. As he couldn’t find an answer, his face turned even paler in panic.

“It’s okay.” The doctor said. “You’ve been through a lot. You may remember eventually. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

The man left the room with Nathan following him.

“So the boy is amnesic.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes, most likely.”

“Will he recover?”

“It’s hard to tell. He’s got a big injury. Some patients never recover.”

By the evening the police had already visited the hospital and the two boys had repeated their story several times. Apparently nobody had put any report about the disappearance of a young male, and there weren’t any clues on how or why he might have been found under those circumstances. After a short interrogatory Nathan had been claimed innocent. The mysterious boy, however, remained an unsolved matter.

“What will happen to him?” Nathan asked a police officer.

“A social assistant will take care of his case. He will probably be taken away until we can locate his family.”

Nathan nodded. And yet, he couldn’t help feeling bad for the boy. That night he came back to the hospital to pay him a visit.

The boy was awake. He had too many things in his head to be able to sleep. But as soon as he saw Nathan his mood seemed to lighten. The sweet smile Nathan had seen before reappeared almost immediately. The man was at a loss of swords.

“I thought you wouldn’t come back.”

Nathan didn’t reply. He had considered not coming back at all. The kid was none of his business and he held no responsibility over him. And yet, he felt he couldn’t just abandon him without at least saying goodbye.

“Your haven’t told me your name yet.”

The boy’s gentle smile was making the man’s heart beat faster. It was a strange feeling.

“Uh…” He hesitated. “I’m Nathan.” He rubbed his neck. “You can call me Nate.”

The boy’s smile brightened.

“Nice to meet you, Nate.”

A soft laugh escaped his lips, and Nathan wondered how he could be so happy after all the things happening to him

“Aren’t you scared?” He asked the boy.

“Yeah. Very much.”

Nathan couldn’t keep his eyes away from the boy. His reaction, his features, he was nothing like anyone he had met before. There was something about him that made him think of a wounded wild animal.

“But at least I got to meet you.”

There was a moment of silence. Those were the last words Nathan would have expected to hear.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Ah, well… Yeah, I guess.” Nathan replied, awkward.

“You know, it’d be great if we could hang out someday, when I get out of here.”

“Look, boy… Sorry to burst your bubble, but we won’t be seeing each other again.”

“Why not? Did I do… Something wrong?”

The smile disappeared and was suddenly replaced by a weird kind of sadness.

“You will be taken by the welfare agency. Plus why would you want to hang out with a guy like me?”

“I will be taken away?!”

“Well, you have nowhere to go. What did you expect?”

Apparently that was an scenario the boy hadn’t considered. What would happen to him once he left the hospital? He knew he had no known family to turn to, but being put in charge of an authority was the last thing he wanted. He’d rather sleep on the streets.

“C’mon, it won’t be for too long. I’m sure someone will come looking for you very soon.”

The boy didn’t reply. The idea of someone he didn’t even remember taking him home wasn’t much more comforting. The sadness boiling up in his eyes threatened with spilling, but he fought back the tears with all his might. Nathan couldn’t help but admire his courage. With a deep breath, once again he took a reckless decision of which he was sure he would regret.

“Would you like to come with me? My girlfriend has just moved so I guess there’s some space…”

The boy raised his head to look at him. In his eyes there was some kind of devotion Nathan had never seen before.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, well, I probably need to sign some paperwork, but I think I should be able to take you in. It shouldn’t be for too long, I mean, how old are you?·” He quickly regretted asking that question, knowing there was no way the boy would know. “I’ll come back for you as soon as you’re fully recovered.”

The younger male couldn’t be more grateful.

“I’ll stay out of your way, I swear. You won’t even see me during the day, I just need a place to sleep.” He said convinced. “I’ll repay you. When I get well I’ll get a job and pay you whatever you feel you deserve.”

Nathan didn’t believe the boy when he said he would repay him, but then that didn’t matter to him at all.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. Now rest. I’ll come to get you once I sort out some stuff.”

The boy nodded, his gentle smile still lingering, and Nathan couldn’t help but smile back. He waved him goodbye and left the boy alone once again, but this time the younger male didn’t mind, as they had made a promise to see each other again soon. He held to that promise and quickly entered a peaceful sleep.


#78

I’m done. Sorry it took so long – I was really busy today; I hope the changes I made are alright.

Summary

The sun was shining for the first time in weeks, behind a thin, white layer of cloud, and over the green landscapes of Bozeman, Montana – a stream of water hiding the noisy city life not far from town.

It was a Saturday evening, and Nathan Campbell, who happened to live in this town, was finally out.

He used to share the house with two other males and his girlfriend, if she could be called that, but now that she left and the guys had moved away to the bigger cities, he found himself all alone. He had left his parents’ home after dropping out of college, and he was used to his Ex come and go as she pleased, but he was never quite used to being alone.

Nathan never came to like the city life; he would sleep all day, work all night, and spend the only free time he had outside of town to get lost into the wilderness. Sometimes, you could catch him smoke weeding – it was a bad habit he had picked during his college days.

Today was one of those days where he sat next to the running water and picked up his lighter to smoke. There was no sound to be heard apart from the splash of water and eventual chirping of birds, yet he spotted a patch of cream-yellow hair on the other side.

Fuck! He thought as he hid the lighter in his pocket; the last thing he wanted was trouble.

Suspiciously, however, the more he stared, the more he realized the figure wouldn’t move.

“Hey!” He shouted, but there was no reply.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He had somehow gotten himself in a crime scene. For a second he turned around, ready to run as fast as he could, except a part of him believed that person was alive. He was already seen to take his leave and pretend that nothing had happened.

Nathan hesitatingly ran a hand over his stubble and then through his dark hair. He drew a deep breath and attempted to wade across the stream, but ended up getting into the water; his clothes were now sticking uncomfortably to his skin.

When he pulled himself out of the stream, then remarked the unconscious body was fairly younger than he suspected. It was a boy, not much older than seventeen, with feminine features and that was strangely beautiful.

Nathan leaned down next to the boy, then pressed his hands against his chest, trying to find a heartbeat. After finding one, he held his hand to the boy’s nose; his breathing seemed to be normal. Nathan cupped some water from the stream into the palm of his hands and poured it on the boy’s face. The boy blinked a few times, slowly, his eyes still unfocused as he looked at the man next to him.

“Wh-Where…am… I…?” He muttered before all strength left his body once again.

There were red stains in his hair – someone or something must have hit him in the head. The paleness of the boy’s face worried Nathan.

“Hey, C’mon!” Nathan spoke desperately, “don’t black out on me!”

Nathan didn’t know what to do. In the end, he ended up taking the boy out of the forest bridal style.

“Hang in there,” the man almost begged as they both got closer to the neighborhood.

He let out several deep breaths; Nathan had a lean body, but there was a difference between carrying a male and carrying a female.

They approached a red car, Nathan placed the boy gently against its door while he attempted to pull out a keychain. When the car unlocked, Nathan opened the back door. He up the boy and placed him the back seat of the car, then hopped into the driver seat himself.

The car stopped in front of the Emergency Room Entrance of the hospital. Nathan quickly got out of the car and dashed into the hospital. Several of the hospital staff came out with a wheel bed. They took the boy from Nathan’s arm and placed him on the bed – rushing into one of the rooms.


Beep. Beep. Beep.

He woke up in a white room; the blinding lights were hurting his eyes, and the voices outside the room hurt his head. Meanwhile, in the hall, a woman in a white coat approached Nathan.

“The boy is recovering well,” she said in a gentle tone, “Most of his wounds are superficial, but he did lose a lot of blood; rest is important. Also, we can’t be sure if there’s any brain damage until he wakes up – those things are tricky to tell.”

The doctor accompanied him into the room, then left. Nathan remained quiet, listening to the monitors beep stably. Then, with a sigh, he stared at the boy’s face for the first time since they left the forest. He couldn’t help admiring the gentle curve of his lips, his pale skin under cream-colored locks of hair, and – aside from several scratches and bruises – his porcelain doll face.

A subtle smile appeared on the boy’s lips as he finally got to see his savior. His cheeks were slightly flushed, maybe due to some fever, maybe due to embarrassment, but he quickly averted his gaze.

“What’s…what’s your name?” His voice was weak but still very sweet.

“It’s—“

But, before Nathan had the chance to reply, another doctor entered the room.

“My, I thought you’d sleep for a few hours. Your recovery is exceptionally fast, and rather…unusual. How are you feeling? Does your head hurt?” The boy simply nodded shyly.

Then, the doctor seemed to finally acknowledge Nathan’s presence and turned to face him.

“I’ve been told you found this boy in the forest?”

Nathan nodded and began to retell the events, careful not to make himself look any more suspicious than he already seemed.

“So you were taking a walk in the middle of nowhere?” The doctor raised an eyebrow, “I see – have you reported this to the police?”

“No, I was in quite a bit of shock.”

“The boy doesn’t have an ID or any other identification on him, but he’s clearly underaged. The police should be opening an investigation.”

The doctor turned his attention to his young patient, “What’s your name, boy?”

“I…I don’t know.”

Nathan ran a hand through his hair nervously; the doctor, however, remained calm. “You don’t know?” The boy shook his head.

“What about your family? Do you remember where you live?”

Again, the boy took a moment to think; this time his face turned even paler with panic.

“It’s okay,” The doctor said, “You’ve been through a lot. You’ll remember eventually, don’t push yourself too hard.”

The man left the room with Nathan following him.

“So the boy has amnesia.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes, most likely.”

“Will he recover?”

“It’s hard to tell – some patients never recover.”

By the evening the police had already visited the hospital and the two boys had repeated their story several times. Apparently, nobody had put any report about the disappearance of a boy and there weren’t any clues on how or why he was found under those circumstances. After a short interrogatory, Nathan had been claimed innocent, the mysterious boy, however, remained an unsolved matter.

“What will happen to him?” Nathan asked a police officer.

“A social assistant will take care of his case. He will probably be taken away until we can locate his family.”

Nathan nodded; he couldn’t help feeling bad for the boy.

That night he came back to the hospital to pay him a visit. The boy was awake, he had too many to go to sleep. But as soon as he saw Nathan his mood seemed to lighten, the sweet smile Nathan had seen before reappeared almost immediately. The man was at a loss of swords.

“I thought you wouldn’t come back.”

Nathan didn’t reply. He had considered not coming back at all. The kid was none of his business and nor responsibility, nonetheless, he felt the need to least say goodbye.

“You still haven’t told me your name yet,” the boy continued.

The boy’s gentle smile was making the man’s heart beat faster; it was a strange feeling.

“I’m Nathan, you can call me Nate.”

The boy’s smile brightened.

“Nice to meet you, Nate.”

“Aren’t you scared?” He asked the boy.

A soft laugh escaped his lips, and Nathan wondered how one could be so happy after all this tragedy in their life.

“Very much.”

Nathan couldn’t keep his eyes away from the boy. His reaction, his features, everything about him; this boy was nothing like anyone he had met before. There was something about him that made him think of a wounded wild animal.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

There was a moment of silence. Those were the last words Nathan would have expected to hear.

“Ah, well… Yeah, I guess.” Nathan replied, awkward.

“You know, it’d be great if we could hang out someday when I get out of here.”

“Look…sorry to burst your bubble, but we won’t be seeing each other any time soon.”

“Why not? Did I say…something wrong?” The smile was suddenly replaced with sadness.

“You will be taken by the welfare agency; plus, why would you want to hang out someone like me?”

“I will be taken away? No, this can’t be happening!”

“Well, you have nowhere to go – what’d you expect?”

Apparently, that was a scenario the boy hadn’t considered. He knew he had no known family to turn to, but being put in charge of authority was the last thing he wanted; he’d rather sleep on the streets.

“C’mon, it won’t be for too long. I’m sure someone will come looking for you very soon.”

The boy didn’t reply. The idea of a stranger taking him home wasn’t much comforting. The sadness boiling up in his eyes threatened to spill, but he fought back the tears. Nathan couldn’t help but admire his courage and with a deep breath, once again he made a reckless decision – something he would regret.

“Would you like to come with me? My girlfriend has just moved so I guess there’s some space…"

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, well, I probably need to sign some paperwork, but I think I should be able to take you in. It shouldn’t be for too long, how old are you?” He quickly regretted asking that question, knowing there was no way the boy would know, “I’ll come back for you as soon as you’re fully recovered.”

“I’ll stay out of your way, I swear. You won’t even see me during the day, I just need a place to sleep,” He said convinced. “I’ll repay you when I get a job.”

Nathan didn’t believe the boy when he said he would repay him, but then that didn’t matter to him at all.

“It’s fine, don’t worry; now rest. I’ll come to get you once I sort out some stuff.”

The boy nodded, his gentle smile still spat on his face, and Nathan couldn’t help but smile back. Nathan waved him goodbye and left once again, but this time the boy didn’t mind; they made a promise to see each other again.


#79

Hello! Did you mean to flag your own post as spam?


#80

Can you shut this down?


#81

Will do!