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feedback-offered
critiques

#1

closed


#2

Form

Story Title: Searching For Christian
Story Link: Chapter One - Now
Chapters: There’s only one
Brief Blurb: Twelve years after the disappearance of her best friend, Yuriah Hurd is finally ready to uncover the truth about what happened to Christian.
Genre: YA
Password: BTS
PM since the story isn’t posted yet.


#3

Hi, ” if you’re interested I wouldn’t mind some criticism :slight_smile:

Title: The Last Philosopher
Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/50361540-the-last-philosopher
Chapters: Any three is fine with me
Blurb: The oldest sorcerer in Empris is having devastating nightmares and trying his best to avoid doing anything about them. Simultaneously, a weird man willing to do anything — as long as no one gets hurt — is escaping a prison filled with weirder men.
Genre: Fantasy/Attempted Comedy
PW: BTS
Inline comments work for me.

Also, thanks and sorry :stuck_out_tongue:


#4

Title: Forsaken, Forbidden, Forgotten

URL: https://my.w.tt/wXPNCYEvsS

Chapters to be critiqued: 1-3

Brief Blurb: Savon and Neas were born before the Christian Savior Jesus Christ, before Tristan and Yvette were conceived, before the Irish Catholic monks painted their magical words onto parchment paper about Deirdre of the Sorrows.

Neas was Breton’s Beauty of the Lands, their Holy One, their savior. And Savon was her Hunter.

Neas and Savon.
The Beauty and The Hunter.

But love cannot save them from duty…
The Gods have declared war.

Genre: YA historical fantasy

Password: BTS

In-line comments: I prefer in-line comments, please!


#5

Story title: Nalite Hunter: Zeke Lawler

Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/227190039

Chapters you want to critique (max 3): first 3 please. They’ve recently been re-written

Brief blurb:
The life of a hunter is a perilous one. It can lead to great riches, experiences the likes none can compare and fame so vast that even those living in caves will hear the whispers of your name, but it can also lead to poverty, death and obsession beyond the human minds comprehension.

Hunters are knights among men, travelling the lands and taking on the most vicious of nalites, the beasts that roam Evantia. Some are as helpless as newborn babies, some are as fiery as volcanoes, and some can be as large entire cities.

Zeke is one such hunter. At least, he’s forced to bypass his training in order to hunt low levelled nalites. Both he and his father vowed to do all in their power to raise the money needed to pay for his ill mother’s operation.

But it isn’t only low levelled nalites that lurk in the shadows of the forest…

Genre: Fantasy

Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: whichever is preferred, though I’d rather on comment at the end or pm.


#6

FORM:
Story title: Eachtra
Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/story/168605593-eachtra-a-christmas-novella
Chapters you want me to critique (max 3): the first three (the first chapter is an author’s note, so parts 2-4)
Brief blurb: Keidy Henshaw has no intentions of celebrating Christmas this year–not until she discovers another student hiding on her college campus for the holidays. Liam Callaghan is an Irish exchange student visiting her university for the year and he’s determined to rescue Keidy from her melancholy and help her enjoy the Christmas season. Keidy needs to gather samples from different species of pine trees for a college class and Liam hasn’t seen much of the United States, so the unlikely pair embark on an impromptu road trip to Christmas tree farms and holiday landmarks all over the country. At first, Liam and Keidy are only drawn together by chance, but their spontaneous journey reveals that something deeper is pulling the couple together.

Genre: Romance (but also could fall under teen fic/ya)
Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: in-line comments are fine!


#7

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That sounds really good! I’m excited to check it out.


#8

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Ohh sounds intresting!!


#9

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Your take on historical fantasy sounds so interesting!


#10

Story title: What the Morning Brings
Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/story/166826871-what-the-morning-brings-nanowrimo2018
Chapters you want me to critique (max 3): first 3!
Brief blurb: Ori is an average small-town boy. Or so he thought, until a strange circus appears in his backyard. He meets Blithe, a golden and guileful acrobat who immediately draws Ori in. Accepting her invitation to join the Cirque de Reverie, he is swept up in a whirlwind of wonder. Unbeknownst to him, the circus is not what it seems, and something dark lurks beneath its golden surface.

Two sisters, as opposite as light and dark but as close as the moon and the stars. When one runs away, leaving the younger sister heartbroken, she grapples with the grief and secrets her sister left behind. Something tugs on her heart, forcing her to follow in her sister’s steps, and it is up to her to find a way to save her before it’s too late. But in a circus that thrives on magic, mystery, and manipulation, that task might just be monumental.

Genre: YA Fantasy
Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: in-line


#11

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Intriguing blurb! Definitely accepted.


#12

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Ahh finally!! I’ve been wanting to read a Christmas romance for the past month!


#13

Haha awesome! There are only four chapters up so far, but I’m updating every few weeks. Thank you! :slight_smile:


#14

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I love circus-oriented plots! I’m excited to see what you do with it.


#15

Story title: Pricky Pallies
Story URL: https://my.w.tt/xtUql3wMsS
Chapters you want me to critique (max 3): 3
Brief blurb: basically the story about a girl (Pallies) and a guy (Jack) who used to be friends but now hate each other because of him changing his ways. Though, they can’t show their hatred of each other in front of his sister, who is also Pallies’s best friend
Genre: YA
Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: could you combine in-line comments and a final comment at the end of chapters? Otherwise, what you decide is fine with me.


#16

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Of course! :smile:


#17

Story title: When Time Runs Out
Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/story/169281188-when-time-runs-out
Chapters you want me to critique (max 3): I only have 3 so 3 works :slight_smile:
Brief blurb:
One day the clock runs down and you’re left wondering where all that time was wasted. Sometimes you wonder if you did enough; if you lived enough; if you have the proof to show that you made your time worthwhile.
Emma Roland has spent every moment of her life living to the fullest. The clothes she wear, the food she eats, and the people she spends her time with are all indications of the way she lived. But there comes a moment when you’re forced to stop and take a breath. Not everything is always so good and so fun; not every moment of your life will have a happy ending. And when Emma is forced into the darkest moment of her life, she fears that nothing will be able to save her.
Except maybe him.
Genre: Teen Fiction/Romance
Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: In-line comments for sure :slight_smile:


#18

Story title: The Apprentice & the Lost City
Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/story/168826271-the-apprentice-the-lost-city
Chapters you want me to critique (max 3): 3
Brief blurb: A young girl discovers that she is the heir to the famous wizard Merlin and will now have to prove that she is worthy of that title. But, how will she do that if she can’t even pass her exams?
Genre: Fantasy
Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: In-line comments, if you can.


#19

Thank you! I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to say!


#20

Story title: Six Feet Under
Story URL: https://www.wattpad.com/story/169198591-six-feet-under
Chapters you want me to critique (max 3): 1 through 3, please
Brief blurb: in the year 2064, Reese, a teenage girl, if forced to survive the consequences of global warming.
Genre: Science Fiction
Password: BTS
In-line comments (best option), PM, or one brief, bulky comment: In-line please