Comprehensive feedback! All slots filled currently!!!!!



Hello fellow writers! I’m offering comprehensive feedback on your stories

What kind of feedback does that mean? It means I’ll leave in-line comments and an overview comment at the end of your chapters! The overview comment will highlight what I liked, what i thought your biggest issues were, and something nice to take the sting away.

I prefer fantasy genre’s, but I’ll look at anything if it piques my interest. I am extremely picky when it comes to reading a book. I have to be absolutely sold before I’ll invest my time, so there needs to be a real good story and hook to grab me. So, that either makes me a niche reader, or I a reader with really high standards. I like to think it’s the latter.

I reserve the right to deny your requests, there’s no sense in getting sub-par feedback from someone who isn’t interested in your story

I also reserve the right to stop reading at any time If this should happen, I will still comment as stated above, but I will include the reason why I chose to stop reading. Depending on what type of feedback you choose, you won’t be obligated to continue further payment once I stop.

If you don’t like my feedback, that’s too bad. My goal is to help writers grow, not hold their hand and sugar coat things.I’m not afraid to tell you if your writing is crap; however, I’ll do it eloquently, and not meanly. Again, this is aimed to help you improve, I won’t just say your writing is crap, I’ll let you know what I think will help you improve it as well.

What experience do I have? I was an English TA during my last year in college, and personally worked with a number of students helping their writing go from failing grades to A grade material. I’m also a CRLA level 1 certified English tutor which is a national certification.

What types of things do I look for? I’ll look for grammar issues, sentence structure errors, etc. I will state what type of issue you have, and how to fix the issue. I’ll also analyze your plot, character development, any lore or descriptions, and discuss how I feel those contribute to the overall success or failure of your story. I can be nit-picky, and I’m not afraid to call out your mistakes.

Option 1: A thorough examination of your first chapter including prologue with in line comments and an overview at the end of chapter one letting you know what I liked, what I didn’t like, and if I think you have the makings of a decent opener.
Option 2: A thorough examination of your first two chapters (I won’t let you pick and choose chapters because if I don’t know what happened first, I can’t tell you if it’s working or not). I will leave in-line comments and an overview at the end of each chapter, and tell you if I would read on from this point.
Option 3: I will read as many chapters as you like assuming that I’m invested in your story; however, I may not leave an overview comment at the end of each chapter. Once I’ve identified the common issues with your story, there’s no need to beat a dead horse. I will let you know if I see any other common issues, and leave in-line comments for new issues.

NOTE: I’m not going to point out every single issue. The idea is to point out the first one-two common issues, explain what’s wrong and how to fix it, so you can learn to find and fix those issues yourself.

Payment: Should you chose to enlist my services and be accepted, I will require payment in full in the following format, depending on the level of service you choose.
Option 1: A follow, plus a read and thoughtful comment on my first chapter. Did you like it; what did you like about it, etc.
Option 2: A follow, plus a read, thoughtful comment on chapter one, and a followup on chapter two. Does the story make sense, did the chapters flow into each other easily, would you read on at this point, etc.
Option 3: A follow, plus an equal amount of reads, and an add to a reading list for easy access. Depending on how many chapters you’ll need to read, I would be more interested in knowing if there’s any major plot issues or inconsistencies in my writing.

Title: The Autumn Tree
The Link:

Disclaimer: For options 1 and 2, payment must be made in full before I will begin. For option 3, I will try to keep pace with you; meaning, you read and comment, then I’ll read and comment. Also, with option 3, please preview my book. I want you to be interested in it, not power through it so you can get feedback. If I feel you’re doing this, I will terminate our agreement.

Payment Completed?


The Queue:

  1. The Greatest Obsession, Awaiting payment/processing.
  2. Breaking black, Awaiting Payment/processing.
  3. Merry Mondays, Awaiting payment/processing.
  4. The Shot, Awaiting payment/processing.
  5. Masks, Awaiting Payment.


After a long and bloody war, the god Justice has been summoned home by the Source herself to rescue her mate from the fate of a bloodspell. Justice is a little lost, having the worst birthday ever, and grappling with remembering parts of his life before he can begin to do his duty.
Option 2, if my story is accepted. :slight_smile:
Thanks in advance.


I would love some feedback on my story (if you enjoy reading it, feel free to keep on reading!)

Title: The Legend of the Moonflower Princess
Synopsis: After her adopted younger brother is kidnapped by the minions of a mad sorcerer, a young woman must journey through a magical world in order to rescue him.
Option: Option #2 (you may keep on reading if you want)
Payment Completed? No


Accepted! I’ll begin once payment is complete.


I thought I’d see you pop up here. I’ve seen your posts all over these places :slight_smile: Accepted. Let me know when payment is complete.


payment complete




Afternoon, Jeremiah.
Title: The Greatest Obsession
Genre: Vampire [Historical LGBT Romance (with satirical elements)]
Synopsis: (This is not the summary on the book, but my personal telling at this very moment). A young and engaged aristocrat in 1885 London is persuaded into a blood-letting deal with a vampire born 1,713 years before. His heart, religious attitude, and soul are forever changed with the vampire’s company. A course is set for idiocy, lunacy, sensuality, betrayal, blasphemy, love, and tragedy.
Option: 3
Payment Completed? Following you now. Have looked into The Autumn Tree, will begin reading upon acceptance, if that is the case. Whether accepted or denied, the follow will be permanent.


So even though I might be commenting on your book to the best of my ability and be interested in your story, you might terminate the agreement anyway because my comments might not be good enough. Am I understanding that correctly?


Accepted. How many chapters would you like to start with?


No, I would be terminating if there was something in your book that made me stop because I would rather stop and give you good feedback, than be irritated and have that affect my ability to give good constructive feedback. That statement is more directed towards Option 3 as that can become a long term commitment.

If I were to terminate the agreement, you’re more than welcome to remove your comments and unfollow me. I won’t deny the agreement because I didn’t like what you had to say about my book. However, I would hope you’re at least interested in my book before seeking my services, and not forcing yourself to read something you have no interest in for the sake of feedback, but that’s ultimately your decision.


I’ve left the comments as outlined. I hope what I was able to provide gives you some food for though when considering any potential future revisions and brought to light some possible mechanical issues that may be present throughout your writing. :slight_smile:


15? That sound alright? Gets you through all of part 1. Part 2 is Chapter 15- 26 (currently).


Hi there! I’d love if you could give some feedback on my book!

Title: The Supernova Chronicles
Genre: LGBTQ+ Fantasy

In the Kalopsian galaxy, Wizards are the dominating race, while Downworlders are hunted and discriminated against. Nova Prescott is a half-Seelie half-Wizard who just wants to graduate her final year of school at Vivera Academy for the Mystic Arts with as few bumps and scrapes as possible. Her plan is quickly derailed when the Queen of the UnSeelies begins to wreak havoc on the Wizarding world, and somehow Nova is the only being capable of wielding one of the most powerful weapons in the galaxy.
While exploring her new and terrifying powers that seem to stem from her being a Hybrid, Nova must band together Wizards and Downworlders alike in order to save her world from dark magic. This proves easier said than done, especially when she’s stuck with a group of bickering Wizards, a Werewolf, a clumsy Warlock, and a pink-haired Seelie girl who makes Nova’s heart speed up far more than she’d like to admit. But, there’s at least one thing they all agree on; Nova’s the key to saving the galaxy.
And for the galaxy’s sake, she really hopes they’re wrong.

Option: #2 (Completed)


Do you do fanfics?


I think that’s a fine goal. I’ll try and keep pace with you (you read, I read as stated above) as best I can, but I may fall slightly behind due to my job and family. If I do, feel free to stop until I’ve caught up if you want :slight_smile: I look forward to working with you on this in-depth project.

Also, if you want to cancel at any point, just let me know. I’ll do the same if I feel I can no longer give you the best feedback possible. Are these terms agreeable with you?


Of course. I’m a very patient person, no need to rush with me. Right now I have time to start, maybe get a chapter or two out read, then I have an outing at 4:30 and will hopefully be back for some more reading tonight.


I’ll give any genre a fair chance. My only preference is fantasy since that’s mostly what I read is all. :slight_smile: