cover letter help please!

ok so I’m in the middle of sending my first cover letter to angry robot but I’m not sure how to write it as I’m stressing out on it.

The cover letter is your query.

The book on my profile has a chapter devoted to query letters.

ok thanks.

I have a rough draft of my cover letter.

please dont judge me for this very awkward first time cover letter (i didnt add my name so when its completely polished to send out then ill insert it but on here im not letting anyone see it.

Good afternoon,

My name is ___ I’m here to submit my stand alone “The Blood Oath: The Descendant of a Promise” to your company which this book has a part in a series potential. The book talks
about the protagonist, Johnathon Haven Stone going through many years of being bullied for his appearance and ability to see other worldly beings from the other side, as well as nightmares as he watches a war between hunters and demons. One night he finds himself in that same war that he had seen in his nightmares and had no idea that they were actually happening in reality. At the moment I’m currently not a published author as of yet.

that’s what i had so far…dont kill me DX

Hey Michael, good first attempt, but this needs work. I’m going to recommend that you really focus on the chapter on queries in my book, and then go to https://queryshark.blogspot.com/ and read through the archives. You’ll see LOTS of queries there, so you can get a feel for how they’re supposed to be laid out.

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I’ll do that now. :slight_smile:

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there’s this agent I’m also submitting my work to and it’s 500 max on the word count for the cover letter plus angry robots are saying 600 max word count for the letter cover that I would send to them. I’ll send you what I changed so far in it, Ok?

Okay. In general I would recommend you try to aim for about 350. Longer isn’t better.

ok. :open_mouth:

Good afternoon,

My name is ___ and I’m here to submit my stand alone adult fantasy novel, “The Blood Oath: The Descendant of a Promise” to your company. At the moment, this book has a series potential along with the word count being 75,129 words. The book talks about the protagonist, Johnathon Haven Stone, since the very moment of his birth he’s been going through many years of being isolated by his peers and family for his appearance and ability to see other worldly beings from the other side and to top it off are the constant nightmares of a nonstop war between hunters and monsters of the night. Although there are people who do love him but they can’t get too close because they might get in the way of John’s ultimate destiny of defeating their long lived enemy, a demon known as Ghost that’s been stalking John in his frightening nightmares since as far back as he can remember. One night after work John finds himself in the nightmares of a war that he thought were only when he slept and now is fighting to save the cosmos or Ghost will take the power that can change the course of the fate and be the King that he wants to be over the Gods, Goddesses and all of creation itself.

this is after reading your chapter, I’m currently reading the link you sent to me on here. I hope it improved…even if it was a tiny bit. DX

There’s some grammar and structural issues that need to get addressed here. There’s a few run on sentences that need to be addressed.

Also you dont mention what kind of book it is, just the word count. Is it a thriller? Fantasy?

Definitely look at some examples of successful query letters to see how they’re put together.

Like Calamity said, there are grammar issues, run on sentences, as well as punctuation errors and a few things that just don’t make sense. And maybe go deeper into what the potential next books could be, once your grammar is 100%. If your query letter isn’t perfect grammatically, how will your book be?

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I’m gonna disagree about the potential books. Everything about a query should be polished and geared toward selling the agent (or in this case, publisher) on this particular book.

Unless you have sold the agent/publisher on this story, they wont care if there are more… because they probably won’t be interested in those either.

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Fair enough

You’re correct. This book only. It’s important to note that it has series potential AND that it stands alone.

Publishers buy one book in a series at a time. Even if they buy a multi-book deal, they are not agreeing to buy the next book in the series. Sales determine that.

@MichaelStValentine

This is definitely an improvement. I think once you study the Query Shark blog, it will get even better. Pay attention in the blog to how certain pieces of information – like the name, genre, and word count are presented almost the same way and in the same place in nearly every query. Notice how they present the info that the book stands alone and has series potential. Look at how the paragraphs are broken up and organized.

Look at how they start their queries and how they end them. Look at how many words they use on the pitch – how many paragraphs – and how they introduce and develop the pitch.

Feel free to copy their sentence structure where appropriate as you build your next draft.

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Writer’s digest also has a series called “Successful Queries” that I found really helpful. Basically it’s examples of queries that landed agents, and then they explain WHY.

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[quietly adds query shark to her bookmarks]

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Thank you for posting the link to successful queries. I knew there was a collection somewhere, but I didn’t have time to go searching.

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np, I was sitting down to some revisions anyways. Happy to help!

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