first > You set the scene clearly and immediately throw us into a world at war. Very recognizable behaviour for soldiers in war is all I have to say about the mixing…
Slight typo maybe?: should it not be > the sounds of battle > instead of > the battle?
second > Odd ending versus the beginning @.@ Did the guy in the first paragraph find a elven woman, happy to get dishonored and lives now together with him??
I think the sentence > With tear filled eyes > might be better described as > With tears in her eyes…
sounds more smoothly in my opinion.
My turn: > from my story > Wolrick the Warrior.
‘He is dead, and that is your fault!’ The townswoman screamed and emptied the bucket of night soil over Wolrick’s head. ‘Why? Why did you rekindle the war? We could have had long-lasting peace and my Rognir would still have lived!’
How did it end up like this again? He wondered. Floating mentally back in time, Wolrick Hrogisson stared ahead past the huts and pithouses through the end of the earthen street where it became the harbour. Focusing on the distant waves and sounds of the sea, it allowed him to drift away, back in time…if only…for a short moment~~~