Gosh, I hate crushes! The only thing it serves to do is give me inspiration to write but besides that it just HURT SO MUCH!!! I liked a guy I met and he’s looking for sex and I’m literally the exact opposite of what he’s looking for. It’s such a pain because I want to leave him and move on but my stupid heart refuses to. The relationship I have with this guy is so messy. To anyone else to hears about us and reads our texts would think that he likes me but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t. It is so frustrating because he’s so misleading and I’m trying so desperately not to let him break my heart a second time but I just like him so much.
Sometimes - difficult though it is and I know from experience - it is better to listen to your head over your heart. In this case, for example, this guy is hurting you as long as you stay with him. He is misleading you and you’re clinging onto the good parts of this relationship (totally understandable) because you hope that those things will grow and blossom until they cover up all the bad.
In this situation, breaking off things is like… like ripping off a bandaid. The longer you pick and peel at the edges (i.e. stay and torture yourself) the more it’ll hurt. If you rip it off and throw it away it’ll sting for a while - yes, your heart will hurt - but it’ll be over faster, you’ll heal, and you can move on.
You know in your heart that this guy is not making you happy all the time - even the majority of the time - and you deserve so much better than that. And you can’t find better as long as you’re hanging onto the wrong guy.
I tried so hard a few months back to do what you just suggested because everyone I know is telling me the same thing. I even dated someone else for awhile but it didn’t help at all. Being away from him hurt just as much if not more than it did when I was around him. I would have been content to just be friends but with the way he is he just puts me in this awkward “relationship limbo”. It gives me a headache just thinking about it and I’d rather just keep things as is.
I’m so attached that I want to slap myself sometimes because it’s so stupid how much I like him. I know that there will be better but I can’t find it in me to pull away. The reasons why I’m so reluctant to part with him are just so complicated because it mingles with another issue in my life.
Ultimately, you have control of your own life and whatever decision you make, it’ll lead you down the right path eventually. I just hope you find the strength and courage to realise that you are worth far more than he knows.
No matter what happens, put your heart first, and don’t let him make you feel that you need him to be happy.
Only issue is that he doesn’t make me feel that I need him to be happy but that he actually makes me happy. It sounds so stupid but he makes me happy even with all the aching he causes. I’m always watching for someone else because I know I can’t keep depending on him to keep me alive when I can’t stand things at home.
Love and crushes are stupid, lol, and they impact everyone differently. I obviously don’t know the ins and outs of your life at home (and I wouldn’t cross the line by asking) but it does sound like he’s an emotional crutch during a time of great need.
That someone else in your life doesn’t have to be a boyfriend. It can be a close friend or just someone that you can talk to and confide in like another relative (if you have one nearby you’re close to?).
I actually can’t handle a boyfriend at the moment. Too much going on with home and school. I would depend more on my other friends but they all live in a different area because I commute city/town for school. Plus they all have either their own family issues or mental health issue to deal with.
… Have you considered moving into a cabin in the woods with twenty puppies/kittens, Netflix, and lots of tea?
If I had money yes I would XD I’ve been kept in by my parents to the point where I don’t know how to take a bus and can’t tell directions to save my life.
That’s… actually that’s terrifying. Have you called child protective services?
Oh that just started a huge mess. A really big mess and then I think I developed depression and anxiety from it. It’s been a nightmare since really. A lot of ups and downs.
I am sending you many, many mental hugs and wishes that I could provide you and everyone else who is going through anything even remotely similar or as emotionally and mentally abusive with a safe, happy environment and many puppies and tea.
The guy I like has two dogs. I very much want to steal them sometimes. Everything is just so very exhausting sometimes. It’s exhausting to like him. Its exhausting to not. Everything is just so much nowadays. The times change but older generations have a hard time adjusting and so often the newer generations struggle to bear the burdens and unnecessary anger that the older generations directs at them. I know people who break down from anxiety and stress at ungodly hours and another who periodically gets kicked out of their house. I’m forced to hold on to the one person who isn’t drowning in the tides of teenage angst and that happens to be the guy who hurts my heart. Though if I had to choose I think more often than not I’d choose him over staying cooped up in my house even if he’s cause me heartache.
Are you in a position where you can remove yourself from this environment soon? Like by going to College/university and getting a fresh start elsewhere?
In two more years yes. My plan has been to just stick it out for as long as I possibly can for the next two years and if I really can’t bear it I’ll have to use whatever resources at hand to get out. The guy I like being one of them and other friend of mine has offered both me and my other friend temporary shelter if things really do get bad. I just hope it doesn’t come to that.
I’m glad at least that you have a friend who can give you a place to stay if and when you need it. Don’t be shy to take them up on that offer, they must love and worry about you a great deal to extend that to you in the first place.
He’s my ex but yes, he’s very kind. My group of friends all worry about one another. Only issue is getting to his house will be an hour and a half walk in winter weather.
Is there anyone who’d give you a ride or a bus or something? I mean I know you said you don’t know a lot about the local buses but perhaps someone could help you out with that…?
Besides the guy I like? No. It’s quite a predicament I know. I’ve been thinking about it for years.
okokok guys so yall know how i told u about the guy who might like me and i dont like him back etc etc
so at lunch today im walking from the cafeteria to the bathroom bc hey, when u gotta go u gotta go, and hes walking in the opposite direction…i accidentally make awkward eye contact (keyword accidentally) and im like fuck bc i dont want to talk to him plus i really had to pee. so i start speeding like crazy towards the bathroom, and literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS BATHROOM DOOR HE STOPS ME AND IS LIKE, “hey.” he asks this STUPID ASS QUESTION THAT HAS AN OBVIOUS ANSWER, AND MIGHT I ADD HES ASKED ME THIS QUESTION MULTIPLE TIMES, SO ID ASSUME HE KNOWS THE ANSWER BY NOW BUT NOOOOO HE JUST HAD TO ASK ME AGAIN. and by the time we finished talking, a line had formed in the bathroom and i had to wait an entire ass seven minutes and make myself numb trying to hold it in (tmi lmao sry)
so yeah. still dont like him. have to see him tomorrow too since we’re part of the same club so thats rly fun