Describe A Story Horrifically.



Beauty and the Beast

Stockholm syndrome and furniture

Also it takes place in France where for some reason only one person actually has a french accent.



Moral of the story: You’ll be happier if you change everything about yourself to please your new bad boy boyfriend

Also don’t take any life advice from this Musical


The Great Gatsby
Rich people fkn suck


Beauty and the Beast
Stockholm Syndrome, and a trip to magic Ikea.



A PSA on not wearing fur

Also an explanation on why dogs at each other all night… it’s the twilight bark!


So glad I’m not the only one who has an issue with the ending of Grease…love the Music…the lesson sucks!

Everyone else says “but Danny changed too…He got the sweater…blah blah.”

Danny threw away the sweater…no change.


Disney’s Tarzan

Death by panic.


Little Shop of Horrors
Death by flowers!


Sweeney Todd

Death by a close shave.


(awesome, we’re doing musicals)


God, I wonder what the characters are?


They’re cats. (No shit.)


Real answer

Nah, they’re furries.


Fiddler on The Roof

Misleading title is misleading.



Poor lonely Mark …and, y’know, all those folks with AIDs and drugs addiction and stuff…but seriously at least everyone else gets to find true love…


In The Heights

I won the lottery! Now I’m going to die! Sounds like a wonderful plan. And die while I just made plans with my pretty much adopted grandchild to move to the Caribbean.


It really said US Navy.


Hamilton (or Evita or any other political musical):

Politics with singing!


Dear Evan Hansen:

Did he fall or did he let go, then not die and go on to pretend he was best friends with a random classmate who actually succeeded his suicide attempt?

It’s the latter.


Mamma Mia!:

ABBA: The Musical.


Mamma Mia

We need to get Maury on this shit.


Les Miserables

Because as so many anti musical folk say…musicals are just people randomly bursting into happy song and dance numbers…


In this show literally called The Miserable…


Avenue Q

Because even grownups need to learn life lessons from puppets.