Describe A Story Horrifically.



No, I just refuse to remember Love Never Dies


So you didn’t like it? I didn’t like either…I can’t believe that they ruined the Phantom of the Opera.



Rooster Elvis.

Oh, and something about evil owls turning this kid into a cat…but c’mon…Rooster Elvis!


(I just looked it up, and it has the weirdest description and one of the line goes like this, "The Duke and his henchmen take over in the darkness, and plan to eat all of the barnyard animals. " anyway it’s one of the weirdest stories I heard of)


Its a great movie though.


The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

Musical theatre is the zombie apocalypse.


This guy is not my type, clearly.


Hello Dolly

Flamboyant woman returns to town and plays cat and mouse with local businessman.


Treasure Planet
told from the perspective of a person who read Treasure Island and hoped Treasure Planet would follow the storyline accurately
Treasure Island but it is set in outer-space, and Jim Hawkins is a rebellious teenager, and everyone else is changed in disturbing ways.
Worst of all, the “island” (which is a planet) explodes, you did it Disney, you did it, you ruined my favorite book


Bird box

A woman runs around blindfolded from a faceless monster, while playing a threatening game of Simon says with two children.


Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812

War And Peace sounds like a great idea for an elecropop musical!

plot twist: it actually is!


Pan’s Labyrinth

A really dark Latino/Hispanic children movie.


SAW Franchise

Escape Room extreme.



Monster steals girl from her home and the girl becomes a monster too.



Cavegirl invents both fire and being a lesbian.


The Croods
Macho dad wants to hold daughter with intelligent/curious mind back, he resents the weird stranger who encourages her to try new things! Also the world is falling apart and girl and dad’s family are cave folk…and ROAD TRIP!! Wow…that’s a lot of family movie tropes in one place…


Sweeney Todd (Tim Burton version)

A murder musical starring Johnny Depp and the cast of Harry Potter.

I literally joked that they had to put Depp in a Potter movie when this musical came out…

someone with power heard me…


The waterboy finds out he’s a literal waterboy and he isn’t supposed to exist
Percy jackson and the olympians



Don’t go that way…never go THAT way!


Jealous teen hallucinates that her infant half-brother gets kidnapped by David Bowie’s crotch bulge and she must solve a labyrinth with her stuffed animals and room decor to get him back!


Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald.

Neither Dumbledore or Newt can defeat Grindelwald, but a Niffler can! Of course the Niffler didn’t duel him in anyway, but at least the Niffler appears to be helping in his defeat