Detailed Critiques and Feedback! (OPEN)

Hey everyone, I’m opening up my critiquing services to any and all who want them (sort of, there are a few exceptions below).

Firstly, a disclaimer: I want to give you constructive points, suggest areas of improvement, and just generally give you some honest feedback about your work. However, that doesn’t mean I’m a nasty troll-like reviewer, far from it! I just want to make you aware that if you’re simply looking for a brief, gushing comment on your work, I’m not the reviewer for you :tipping_hand_woman:t3:

For the most part, I’ll read any type of fiction, however there are some things I’m not looking to review.


  • No poetry (it’s not you, it’s me. Seriously, me reviewing poetry isn’t cute. An absolute trainwreck.

  • No random chapters - I’ll only critique your first chapter, simply because a random review of chapter 84 of a complex sci-fi novel will in no way be half decent

  • I can only review single chapters at a time - I work full-time, so can’t commit to reviewing a whole novel. However, if you find my critique useful, feel free to request I review the next chapter afterwards (and so forth)

  • No high-fantasy, fanfiction, historical fiction, assassin-centric plots, or werewolf/vampire-esque stuff (I just don’t know enough about these genres to provide a useful review, and the werewolf stuff gives me Twilight flashbacks)


  • Please take a look at my YA novel, A Pocket Full of Posies (I don’t expect you to read more than the first chapter - I’m not quite that mean). Leave a comment or send me a message once you’ve given it a read, and I’ll make a start on your request!

Request Template

Brief description:

Things that this story has: Diversity, emotions that finna tug at your heartstrings, a mafia au with lesbians in it (I can’t believe no one has created that yet sheesh)

Title: Devilish Instincts
Genre: Romance


“I’m only ever a fool when it comes to you.”

“That was your mistake.”

“No darling, that’s called love.”

Her name was Red. And alike her name, blood stained her hands wherever she went. Destruction was an everlasting companion, happiness was a fleeting visitor. And love? Love used to be an unreliable fantasy.

Key words: Used to be.

For you can only shut off your heart for so long until someone comes along and threatens to knock down all the walls you’ve ever built.

But the question is, will you let them? Or will you fight back?

ose and his sister Sofia are joining their mother abroad to witness her make history. They help her with the excavations of Yeha and Corfu. Despite the climate and boring atmosphere of an archaeology site they get to travel to Greece and Ethiopia. Jose gets to save money for his masters and Sofia gets to take some Instagram worthy photos.

But as soon as Jose and Sofia arrive to the excavation site, terrible events begin to happen. The flu spreads, a priest is murdered and the inhabitants of Yeha and Corfu begin to disappear. Is it all a bad coincidence or something evil and dark.

Critique or review?

Anyhow, wouldn’t mind either one of them.

Title: Life, Love And A Little Coffee


Title: run away with me


Heyy theree!

My novel’s title is : The Bridge Of Fire

Username : MaryLion25

SUMMARY : A power that was yet to be discovered
A woman who stands to lose everything.
A series of unexplained murders.
A big secret that was not supposed to be uncovered.

A small village in England called Snowshill was the perfect getaway for the two sisters after their aunt’s death. Snowshill was always a village full of life, now it had turned into a village full of death and destruction.

Victoria was suddenly trapped at her own mind. One diary that held all the secrets…She dared to open it but…she wouldn’t of known the danger she was putting hers and her sister’s life.

They said…" Dreams can’t become reality" well for Victoria that doesn’t count. She is Victoria…and she predicts the future through her dreams. Whatever she sees in her sleep the previous night, happens the very next day.

A sudden murder drives Alice seeking for revenge, she reaches her limits trying to protect herself and her family. Along the way she finds love at two places, love that at first she denied and then gave in.

Title: King of Hearts - Rated Mature for strong language and crude humor (no erotica)
Synopsis: Fast women and slow horses will ruin your life. A fact Gabriel ‘Gabe’ Allgood, a notorious philanderer with a gambling problem, knows all too well.

Indebted to the Italian mob for funding his upstart boxing gym in Chicago, Gabe skirts his payment responsibilities under the guise of dating Bianca—the mob bosses’ daughter.

But when he finds himself single and in sore need of quick cash, Gabe takes a bet with his friends; he’s going to prove he can woo an old flame back into his bed. But Harper Hadley isn’t just any old flame, she may just burn his life to the ground.

That is so nice of you to do. Thank you! :heart:

I have recently revised the first chapter of one of my stories and I would really appreciate a review on it, please :blush:

Here’s the form:

Author: @Ellen_Reese
Title: Got Guts? How to Escape a Psycho Serial Killer
Genre: Psychological Thriller/Horror
Chapter amount: 1 (the 1st chapter)
Service choice: Feedback, please. Things like:

  1. Is it creepy?
  2. Is it boring?
  3. Is it exciting?
  4. Is it scary?
  5. Are the characters fleshed out?
  6. Is Kevin attractive enough for the readers?
  7. Is Josh annoying?
    Stuff like that :3

Thanks a bunch for helping out!

Title: The Most Beautiful Man in the World
Link: here

Life has made Lilah Taylor a pessimist. Orphaned, homeless, and hangry, Lilah does not have the patience to be around other people. Especially not a gorgeous, wealthy man who claims that she’s his wife. Yeah, right. He sounds like a cliche. Except in Lilah Taylor’s world, he is probably going to turn out to be one of those weird, wealthy men who wants to do weird things to a poor, innocent (albeit cranky) girl. It would be better if she just avoided him. Which would be easy if he would stop rescuing her from the most dangerous (but mostly awkward) situations. I will be posting at least one chapter a week on Thursdays.

The story follows Natalya and Sheldon as they try to escape the city of Desolation which has become a wasteland, abandoned by the government, poverty is king and lays divided into territories control by rival gangs. They must survive the various twist and turns as everyone within the city has their own motive to push their agendas as the city itself hides its own secrets.

Hey, If you are interested I would love a critique on my first chapter :slight_smile: Thanks for this opportunity, either way.


Mute since the tragic accident, Ashlyn Holland has lived a quiet life in her childhood home, haunted daily by the shadow of her Father’s memory, but too afraid to let him go. Instead, she passes the day serving coffee and kindness, avoiding the ocean at all costs.

When Derek moves to town, however, her routine is interrupted, and the fears that have always held her back are challenged. As their relationship develops and Ashlyn finds freedom in love, disaster lingers in the back ready to strike. And when it does, it will either bring them closer together or tear them apart.


How many stories per person?

Title: The Moment We Met
Genre: Teen fiction

Title: Domum - A Tale of Orphans
Genre: Thriller

I wrote this a few months ago, had zero time after I finished, and now I am in the process of editing. Your help will be TREMENDOUSLY appreciated, even for just the first chapter. Thank you so much for offering something like this!

1 Like

If you have time, I would love you to critique my new story. Please?

It’s called THE ONLY SENSE


But my username is Crazy_Lemons23

1 Like


Title : Wolves In The Woods


Born to be soulmates.
ran to be together.
broke rules to make their own ones.
became an alpha to be a man wise enough.

Cover :

Click here!

Thank you for doing this :slight_smile:




I was Adam’s wife, nothing more, nothing less. I was the perfect wife, ever the obedient, always patient. I did everything they told me to do–everything he told me to do, but in the end, none of it mattered.

My name is Eve, and I just got kicked out of Heaven.


It’s freezing and my only protection against the elements is a thin silk dress that reaches mid-thigh. The biting wind throws my hair around my face, obscuring my view. My flesh erupts in goosebumps and I feel the telltale tightness of my nipples pebbling. A flash of pain runs its fingers down my back as I pull my wings out, covering my body in its warm, feathery embrace. My wings are still here. Warm relief washes over me.


"I absolutely loved your style! The descriptions were immersive and detailed, but not overbearingly so.”

“I’m hooked, in the first couple of paragraphs alone. I love your interpretation of Hell and Lucifer. I’m enjoying where this is leading. I need to know more.”

“This humor plays well, good stuff!”


Coded by DarlaCassic. Get your own personalized post here.

Title: The Zelda Chronicles
Genre: Romance, Espionage, Teen, Fantasy
Link: //

Yeah sure I would like your help so here’s my story®