Detailed Feedback on Your Story!

writing
feedback-offered
critiques

#1

Hey all!

I’m looking to uplift our Wattpad community and offer detailed feedback on your story or poem or other form of writing! I’m a college-age individual who loves to read and loves to write! I have experience as a tutor and an editor and would love to help all writers receive the feedback that they need to make their story GREAT!

Please post below 1) your story! 2) what exactly you are looking for in regard to feedback: character development, scene establishment, general feedback/editing, etc! 3) the amount of chapters you’d like me to read!

For payment, I ask that you take a look at my story and comment your honest thoughts and ideas. For as many chapters that you request, I ask that you also comment on the same number as mine. So, if you want me to read five of your chapters, read and comment on five of mine! It doesn’t have to be a long comment like I will do, but I would love to see honest effort. Once you have completed your end of the bargain, I will start my analysis on your writing!

-fruitcup8


#2

My story is on my profile and is called: A Sea’s Devotion. It is a pirate-adventure-action-romance!

The following is the description of the story if it is of interest to you:

Trouble in the Caribbean comes in a variety of forms and is present in all of the men that grace her oceans and islands.

Living in the 18th century Caribbean, Sutton lived on the island of St. Luca. It was her home, her happy place, yet it trapped her like a bird in a cage. A port and haven for merchants and sailors alike, the town was use by men traveling in and out, searching for a next job, the next whore house, and above all, they search to avoid the noose. Sutton, however, didn’t travel at all but yearned for such an adventure. The jailor, Sutton’s father, kept the happenings and thousands of men that touched foot on the island in order.

Or, at least, it appeared as if he did.

Ezra Knottingham, a retired pirate and the unofficial and untouchable law of the island was the real hand of discipline, fear, and law. Townspeople knew of him and whispers of the legend also graced the ears of every traveler. Usually, men stay in line, reluctant to be presence of the man and myth himself. However, when a few vengeful pirates enter the town, ready to tear down the jailor and everything and everyone he loves because of a recent hanging, Ezra Knottingham comes out from the mountains and out of hiding, ready to fight the youthful pirates with a skilled and angered hand


#3

Can I ask what you’re looking for in terms of feedback? I usually leave feedback in terms of suggestions on what would make this or that sentence sound better, imagery, random thoughts regarding anything in content, if something doesn’t make sense, etc.

Edit: Also do you have a preference for genres you like/don’t?


#5

Hey! My story is the The White Crown. Its fantasy.
Here’s the link - https://www.wattpad.com/story/179175722-the-white-crown
I’d love you to read the prologue and the first chapter. General feedback and your honest opinion would be very appreciated.
And of course I’ll read your story too. I’ll leave a review when I’m done :slight_smile:

The White Crown

Summary -

An evil queen who wants to rule all, A mad king who wants to purge the world with fire, a princess raised as a pauper, An immortal soldier, a goblin who wants to be pretty and a sorcerer who likes to set things on fire are all fighting for one thing.

The White Crown

In a land sweeping from frozen lakes to sweltering deserts, All the stories are true. The fairies and the monsters.
Here is a tale of enemies and lovers, traitors and bastards, soldiers and sorcerers and talking dragons.

The battle lines are drawn.

Who will reign?

Thanks again!


#6

Mine is a poetry collection. This is the link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/179549931-rain-drops

I will get to yours as soon as I can and let you know!


#7

That kind of feedback sounds great! Honest reactions are what I hope to have to help my writing improve!


#8

And any genre!


#9

Okay, awesome! I’ll get to reading the prologue and first chapter! Make sure to leave a review/comments on mine as well!


#10

Awesome! I’m excited for your poetry!


#11

Do you want me to comment on all the poems? Is there one or two or a few that you’re looking on feedback for?


#12

I would like you to comment on all of them even if just to say “I liked it/hated it”. I’ll let you know as soon as I finish up with your story!


#13

I’ll be happy to read and do feedback for yours!

Here’s mine, it’s of a similar degree as yours, since I figured you might prefer a pirate story as you’re writing one (but if you’d prefer to stay away from pirate novels while writing one, I have a modern day romance here).

EDIT: I’ll read all six of yours if thats alright! I’m looking for any sort of feedback. Character development, anything that you think needs clarifying, whether you like or or not, whatever floats your boat. I don’t expect a essay or anything, just whatever tidbits.


#14

Awesome! I’m excited to read your pirate story! I will comment on six of your chapters throughout the day!


#15

Okay, awesome! I’ll get to it!


#16

Could you perhaps take a look at my story?

  1. Title: Elysia: The Wasteworld
    Genre: Fantasy/Dystopia/Adventure
    Blurb: Due to the War that devastated the globe, all governments have lost their power and the systems that hold the world together are falling apart. The last standing paradise city on Earth-Elysia-is secluded and allowed to very few qualified individuals. Would Erik, a rather reckless blond boy with a Cadillac and Jessica, who grew up to be a ruthless, independent woman, be able to team up and reach Elysia in search of freedom and lasting bliss?
    Link: https://www.wattpad.com/695609957-elysia-the-wasteworld-the-car-thief

  2. I am looking for: Comments on character development and general reaction/feedback.

  3. Please read all six chapters I have posted and I’ll make my payment right away.

Thank you!


#17

Hi!

I’m just writing this message to let you know I’ve moved your post to the #story-services:critiques-and-feedback Category rather than just the #story-services Category! All it does it make it so your post is easier to find for users who don’t just click on the over all group and search per category instead.

Thanks,
PurelyAliyah :purelyaliyah:
Community Ambassador.


#18

Light Banter

Light%20Banter

Diana Lewis and William Carter can bicker over anything and everything since the moment they met. Willie knows all of Diana’s insecurities and just how hard to push her buttons. When there is an accident and he almost loses his source of comfort, what will happen? Certain unknown feelings emerge from the sending of mixed signals making them both confused. Arguing all the time but eventually, emotions grow and love starts to sprout. Besides, it’s only a bit of light banter.

https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/177671281-light-banter

Comments on character development and general feedback would be very nice.
There are only 10 chapters so far and I will in return read 10 if not more chapters :relaxed:
Thank you in advance!


#19
Summary

#20

Hi
my story: TLBT - do we have to grow up?
I would like to have feedback on everything that comes to your mind
and i would also like you to read all the chapters:grinning::grinning:

  • Cheeky-AE

#21

Hello there! First, thank you for offering the service. I’ll be sure to check out your story shortly.

My story is called The Boy They Called King.
I have two chapters up right now that I would love to get feedback on.
As of right now, I’d love to hear any comments, but especially those dealing tone, pacing, and characters.
If you would like to read a description:
He’s thirteen and alone. After an act he’s deemed unforgivable, Kingsley Tolliver finds himself living alone in an abandoned rec center. His days now consist of robbing marketplaces for food and looking for for goods in the streets. His life changes when he finds himself a part of a juvenile gang of misfits headquartered just outside of town. This group of young boys might just help him find the one thing he thought he had lost forever.
Here’s the link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/176234066-the-boy-they-called-king-draft

Once again, thank you so much for offering to do this.