Droid Code

Target Audience: New Adult
Genre: Science Fiction
Story Length: Roughly 56k words
– Only about 30k has been uploaded on Wattpad.

Pitch:

Bionics Pharmaceuticals manufactures Androids for basic human needs. Javier Morales is one of those Androids, specially crafted for his family after his death. While he should have led normal, though cybernetic, life, Javier experiences the opposite. He’s secluded and pushed aside, by all but Wendy, his adopted sister.

But when Androids start malfunctioning, assaulting each other, Javier’s parents worry. In a panic he calls his ex, Mary, to come and fix him, because she designed him.

After Mary’s attempt at correcting Javier’s droid code, Javier gets a frightened call from Wendy. The Androids at her school have attacked everyone, taking hostages. Javier attempts to call his father, but Mary insists they should run and hide, begs him to save himself. Yet, Javier won’t leave his sister and risks it all to get her.

Androids have gone on a rampage against humans and other droids in their way. Overcome with human anxiety, Javier is injured by police and shuts down. Will, his store-clerk friend, pulls him and Mary to safety. And when he wakes, Mary tells him of the warehouses that stored the broken Androids, where Javier detects droids and Wendy.

In his second attempt to save his sister, he learns that the broken Androids aren’t causing the issues… copies of them are. Created for the Government as war soldiers, but unused and forgotten, they developed minds of their own. Javier’s copy became more human that his Android counterparts.

His “copy” makes him an offer—Wendy or his “droid code.” Javier chooses to fight him to get his sister away from danger, willing to sacrifice what makes him “him” in order to save his sister’s life. That’s when he learns why his sister was kidnapped—revenge.

Javier’s replica is just a pawn in a plot created by Mary’s first Android, Rory. And Rory’s “droid code” made Javier’s second cybernetic life a possibility. Rory wants Javier’s code, to remove him from the world because that’s what had happened to him.

Javier is wrong to sacrifice himself and must stop Rory and his replica before more harm comes to the city. He tries to talk to Rory, reminding him of the friendship they once had, that his revenge is wrong. But Rory is damaged, and through neglect and abandonment, only wants Javier dead. Rory states he doesn’t need any Android to do it and falls at the hands of Javier’s replica, losing the trust of all copies around them. Javier, having been injured in the fight, falls behind. Mary is afraid he will die.

But Javier doesn’t “die.” Mary uploaded a virus that destroyed all Androids but Rory and Javier. Their codes were different.

Special Government Units arrived to retrieve the broken models as “damage” control. Javier, having saved his sister and Mary, realizes that Rory didn’t just want his “droid code,” but his soul. The human soul is the only object that cannot be copied, or sold, and would always live on. Like him.

Other notes: Characters are diverse. Near-future setting. A way to show how cybernetic technology can erase death and bring immortality to humans – though, this is a scary thought, too. But, is anything natural anymore?

3 Likes

I see something intriguing, as per always, in the notion of an android being sentient and normal while all the other ones revolt. It would certainly create an interesting situation, a reverse iRobot sort of?

But then there’s a lot of additional layers of conspiracy and convolution that make things hard to follow.

Each time you add a “but wait!” or any sort of twist, you fundamentally shift the entire understanding of the plot and story. That requires enormous cognitive load from your reader, and if you do it multiple times, particularly in succession, you’re going to lose them, or it won’t be worth the mental effort to try and unravel the story.

Also, once you do a twist or reveal a conspiracy, it will make your audience naturally have to go back and reconsider everything and there are a number of core plot components that don’t make sense. For example, when all the Androids go haywire they’re all copies of the real androids. So did everyone buy copies? In which case, how? Where did all the originals go? And how would they know they’re copies without the originals to compare against? Only Javier has a copy and an original. Additionally, why would the government even make war droids that were copies of other droids? If the argument if they made cheap copies, then the cheapest would be to make one droid and then duplicate it over and over. Also, if they’re unused and forgotten, then they are turned off, so nobody could possibly be using them when they attack, which means the originals must be somewhere? And also they can’t develop minds of their own if they’re off, and if they’re not off, that would be basically impossible for a government to have a bunch of war machines and then put them in a farm somewhere, left on indefinitely, and forgets them. You would need a government competent enough to make all this very complex tech, but dumb enough to forget about it and leave it on and also make expensive copies of unique androids.

While you could argue this gets into nitpicking, I didn’t particularly care about those details until it started to become very plot relevant and the many twists started to ask me to go back and pay attention. So you have to be very careful with using those in a world that is somewhat flimsy on its premise (also those issues are really puzzling and need to be sorted out).

Otherwise I’m unclear on what the latter half entails. It sort of abandons any character arc or growth from Javier, who seems to be trying to be a human among wild androids even though his only family rejected him (though it’s super unclear why he cares about them if they don’t care about him and the other robots defaulted to hating humans when given time to think).

I’m going to assume all of this is really about a relationship he develops with the adopted sister that helps him come to understand or love humanity and be willing to sacrifice himself for it, but that’s not really clear, and then he shouldn’t sacrifice himself but should but shouldn’t and so on. Wendy doesn’t make an appearance as a character outside the first couple paragraphs, Mary takes over for the second plot.

It needs an overall throughline that stays consistent throughout.

3 Likes

Also, Droid is a trademarked word by Lucasfilm. (Motorola uses it by license for their phones, but other brands have to call theirs “Androids.”) You may need to change your title.

I think I may have over complicated my plot summary! Eep! You’ve made points that are relevent in my story, but I didn’t include them (ie, the copies and how they function). I’ll have to do this summary over from scratch :sweat_smile:, which is fine! But you’ve made some solid points and I thank you!!

I’ll come back when I fix this up :D.