Favorite Character Rant Scene

Post your favorite scene from your book of the topic listed in the title.

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CHARACTER RANT

She scampered down an aisle, plopping down on a brown leather sofa, the kind she’d described Wednesday night. She wasn’t as happy as she hoped though and sulked as she bounced a few times before discarding the sofa for another further down.

This one she leaned back in, moving around positions with a grin on her face. “Sit next to me,” she ordered.

Tom did as he was told and admitted that Ada’s smile was earned. “I like it.” His hands felt around for the tag until he found it. “The fucking thing’s twelve hundred dollars!”

Ada hit a button and her feet went up. “Yeah, but it reclines. You can’t put a cost on happiness, Tom, and this couch is happiness.”

“They did put a cost on happiness and that price is too damn much!”

Ada looked at him, lines appearing between her eyebrows as she grimaced. “Have you been furniture shopping before?”

“Sure.”

“New?”

Tom shook his head. “No.”

“Please let me get you this couch.”

His eyes narrowed at her. “No. You’re out of your damn mind, woman. You aren’t buying me a twelve hundred dollar couch, Ada.”

“Ooh. It has a matching chair and a half!”

Ada jumped from the couch and ran over to the biggest chair he’d ever seen.

“What the hell is a chair and a half?”

“Will you stop swearing?” She scolded. “You’re in a public place.”

Tom rolled his eyes at her, which quickly earned him a glare. “I’m sorry, but you seriously just said ‘chair and a half’ and that makes zero sense. I’m not kidding. I thought we were going to go furniture shopping. But you know what this is? It’s pretentious. You got your twelve hundred dollar couches and your chair and a half.” Tom pointed to the other side of the store. “You know what they got over there? A lamp made of crystallized tears of angels or some shit for six grand.”

Tom shook his head and dropped himself into the damn chair and a half, feeling consumeristic defeat. A long breath escaped Tom’s lips as the cushion hugged his body like the perfect asshole cloud from the heavens that it was. “Fuck me. I’m gonna end up buying this stupid chair, aren’t I?”

He watched as Ada shrugged and sat across from him on a red retro style couch.

“Isn’t there a furniture store where castaway furniture goes when their selfish owners ditch them for shit like this? The furniture that needs a loving home? Like a shelter for disguarded home goods?”

“There is,” Ada said with a soft tone as she clasped her arms in front of her. “That’s where you got the furniture that we’re trying to get rid of.”

“You want me to get this thing, don’t you?”

Ada laughed. “No, you want to get this thing, you just want to pin the idea on me so you don’t have to be ‘pretentious’,” she said in air quotes.

Tom put his feet up on the ottoman in front of him. “Well this thing and that thing over there pretty much sucked up my budget, so…”

“We can always look on Craigslist for the rest,” Ada agreed. “I can borrow my dads truck and trailer next weekend and we’ll set up some appointments when we get closer to Friday.”

A salesman approached them, looking as if he was trying to find the right way to ask Tom to tone down his rant.

“You guys deliver to Ridgewood, right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Tom dropped his head in his hands. “I’ll take this lying, made up chair and the matching couch over there.”

“I’ll ring it up. May I also interest you in the in the lamp made of crystallized angel tears?” The salesman’s lips curved up in hesitant amusement.

Tom leaned back in his new chair. “Not unless you accept layaway with zero money down and zero intention of me paying for it.”

REVIEW

I like it. This is very funny ! For me, at least. Especially the happiness price XD (And women are the best ! They always win, haha !) You managed to interest me with a banal scene (I mean, from a daily life), everyone can’t boast about it X)

CHARACTER RANT

A loud snap brings attention back to the center of the stage: in Beran’s hand appeared a whip, whose golden straps wrapped around Vahy’s arm. The God of Aries is now totally in the grip of anger.

“First my beloved, and now my Cortegian? Release him immediately, otherwise, I only have to make a gesture to tear off your arm!”

In front of the inaction of Vahy, who still stares at his brother with an impassive, neutral gaze, sparks suddenly emerge from the whip and electricity begins to cover it completely, striking the prisoner arm with such violence that the concerned is forced to let go. Orion falls heavily on the ground, quickly joined by Beran who makes sure of his condition before placing himself in front of him in a protective posture. With a gesture, he recalls the straps of his whip, whose proof of the passage is marked on the skin of their prey.

“I ask you one last time,” Beran warns in a severe tone, “apologize, and not only to Kozoro, but also to Orion! You have exceeded the limits this time!”

Watching his burns, Vahy, seemingly impassive, sees his mood plummet to annoyance.

“Why do you persist in this way? You’re pathetic, your heart pitiful. You would have your place in an ancient tragedy. Does your insolent love blind you to the point of no longer distinguish good from evil? Accept the truth! Since she tried to murder Father, Kozoro is only synonymous with humiliation and dishonor for ours! Look at what state she puts you in! In what state we are! Isn’t that enough for you?”

For a second silent, Beran looks at his brother in the eyes, his own shining with a glow worthy of a killer. The second next, he rushes at him in such a sudden way that he doesn’t have time to dodge his fist and finds himself on the ground, his mouth bleeding. The crowd paralyzed, unable to intervene in a divine confrontation, can only attend with horror. Vahy once again submits his body to telekinesis, an aptitude specific to Air signs, and gets up slowly, without sitting in his favorite position this time. He wipes the blood on his face, which has now lost all impassibility.

“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about! You’re strutting with your so-called impartiality, but you know nothing, you’re nothing!” Beran yells ferociously.

This time, it’s because of his own master that Orion trembles with fear. He had already had the opportunity to witness the devastating fury that’s usually dormant in him, and keeps each time painful memories as the man he admires so much becomes unrecognizable. He’ll not try to intervene anymore, the only thing to do is to wait for the storm to pass.

“You take it this way? Fine. Let’s fight since you wish it, because as I told you, I’ll not withdraw my words! But not in the kingdom of Father.”

“Why? Are you afraid he interrupt us?” Aries launches with challenge.

“Of course not! Out of respect for you, I would prefer a place where you would feel comfortable. A place that will be much easier to damage without regrets, as for example… the constellation of Capricorn.”

The sky suddenly darkens, and thunder rumbles for long seconds. Instinctively, the Cortegians recoil in unison, understanding that at every moment from now on, they can become collateral victims. A gigantic flash of lightning arises from the clouds and hits the ground just a few meters from Beran. If Vahy hadn’t dodged at the last moment, he would have taken it. In the darkness of the sky, wild flashes are unleashed, drawing strange rosettes with their blinding light. And from these rosettes, other lightning rips the air in a deafening noise, falling with rage on the land of the Serpentarius. Some are targeting the God of Libra, who must deploy a colossal energy to avoid them.

Beran, meanwhile, doesn’t move, impassive. His face is distorted by anger, and in his golden eyes is reflected an animal, wild fire. His whip slams the ground violently, and his fist is ready to strike as many times as necessary to find peace. As he arms his arm, uttering a bestial howl, empty of all humanity, he stops suddenly at the sight of a snowflake.

It seems to come and go, regardless of the fury around, ignoring the wind’s contrary breezes. It’s only a snowflake… But it looks so beautiful, so sweet… As if full of love… It falls, twirls and falls again, and finishes its dance on Beran’s cheek. It’s so cool… So comforting… Like a kiss… A memory of the icy lips of winter…

That’s when he sees her, standing in front of him. This brown, wavy, silky hair. These eyes with infinite shades of silver. This skin so pale that it embellishes death. This soft fur, this dress with the colors of the ocean, glittering like the stars. These hands provided with stone, these fingers seeming so rough but capable of so much tenderness. She’s there, smiling at him. That smile… How could he forget it? That smile that taught him to love. Kozoro’s smile.

“My… my beloved…” he stammers, his voice broken, his throat knotted, his hand extended to her face.

Hardly he touches the cheek of the angelic creature that he collapses, sinking into unconsciousness.Instantly, the lightning disappear, the sky clears, and silence become again master of the place. Vahy rested his feet on the ground and leads to the woman who put an end to the torment of Heaven.

“I’m relieved of this intervention. I began to seriously fear for my life.”

“No need to thank us,” the woman answers in a strange voice.

The illusion of Kozoro fades, revealing the true author of the masquerade.

Read the rules. You must review the post before yours before posting your own or else your post will be removed.

Thank you.

Sorry, I had to restart so much time (thanks wifi) that I completely forgot to redo the review ! Thanks for noticing. I’ll fix it.

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No problem! :slight_smile: Sorry your wifi is being dumb lol

Done !

Dumb ? Nooooooo. Psychopath ? Yeaaaaah.

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never mind

Give a review to the person above you.

I’m sorry but I had a very hard time following this excerpt. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had enough coffee yet this morning. I’m sure it’s also because it’s somewhere in the middle of the book…

But there are a lot of character names and I can’t always tell which one is speaking. I’m not sure who the narrator is either, so the italicized portions only confused me more.

The grammatical structure is a bit strange (and incorrect) in spots. I’m not sure if that’s an intentional choice to try to portray a more verbose and formal tone, or if you aren’t a native English speaker and so it’s a translation which is making it sound this way.

What I did understand is that it’s a very dramatic moment - with gods, golden whips, lightning and thunder, visions of a former love appearing and disappearing… so well done with that :blush:

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Cam drapes my thin coat across my shoulders. I feel my phone in its pocket. Then he follows it with his own warmer suit jacket.

“So you’re breaking up with me? And you can’t even look at me to do it?”

His voice isn’t bitter. In fact he sounds shocked.

Like he just realized his ship collided with an iceberg.

“Please look at me Bridget.”

I turn toward him, but look down. I’m too afraid see the way the rain drips off his beard, or how his white dress shirt clings translucently to his muscled torso.

He’s in the middle of a tough series and I know this isn’t the best time for this conversation.

Cam lifts my face with his hand and studies me the way he analyzes the videos, of both teammates and opponents, that his coaches send him.

Which one am I to him tonight?

Then he places his hand on my cheek and follows the path of one hot tear down my face with his thumb.

How did you distinguish that solitary drop from the myriad of other, colder ones provided by the clouds? How can you be so oblivious in one moment and then so intuitive another?

His voice quivers now, as much as my body is.

“Jesus Bridget… I… I didn’t realize you were so unhappy with… with us.”

“You don’t realize what I’m unhappy about and that’s the problem.”

“We both know I’m not as smart as you, Dr. Ernst. Let’s face it, I’m a dumb jock… about as hard and thick as the ice I skate on. But if you tell me what’s wrong, I’ll do my best to fix it!”

“You can’t. It’ll always be a problem and I either have to live with it or… or…”

“Or break up with me?”

I nod. His hand drops from my face. I’m too cold to keep standing still. I start to walk, edging closer to the building beside us to try to shield myself from the rain.

Cam follows me silently. He positions his body to take the brunt of the storm. Then he suddenly stops and flings his arm out, halting me too. He turns and cages me against the wall.

“I’m not afraid of hard work. I’ve pushed through pain and injury more times than I can count. You’re a physical therapist, you help people all the time. So please, help me! Stop running away and tell me what’s wrong…”

He removes his arms from either side of me and pulls at his beard instead.

“…because I think we’re better as a team Bridget!”

Cam might be an absolute brute when he smashes guys against the boards, but he would never use his size or strength against me in any way.

I know I’m free to run away again if I choose to.

Instead I drop my high heels onto the ground and cover my face with both hands while I blubber.

“Professional Hockey is what’s wrong Cam! I was afraid to tell you that, because it’s your whole life… your passion… the air you breathe! And it’s impossible to compete against it! I wouldn’t even dream of trying to, because I’ll lose. And what kind of person would I be if I bashed your one true love? Hockey makes you who you are, and it’s part of why I love you. But I don’t know if I can deal with all your days on the road, and the crazy schedule even when you’re home! And don’t get me started on the groupies constantly trying to f@ck you! I flew here to have a night together after two weeks of barely seeing you… and I come out of the restroom to find a silicone-titted slut whispering in your ear and dragging her fingers down your chest! I… I… I felt so insignificant in that moment. I wanted to vomit, claw her eyes out and cause a scene… But really I’m just angry at myself, because I knew who you are when we got involved, so I only have myself to blame for looking like a drowned rat right now.”

Then I hear Cam chuckle. I peek between my fingers at him.

“Are you laughing at me?”

Cam bites his lip to hide his smile but snorts through his nose.

“I just poured my heart out to you and you’re laughing at me!”

I start to storm off, not even bothering to pick up my heels, but he grabs my hand to anchor me in place. Glancing over my shoulder, I see that he’s down on his knee. I assume that he’s grabbing my shoes, until he starts talking.

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I think what I love about this passage is that what Bridget loves about Cam is also what she hates. Hockey dictates his life and it has come to the point where Bridget is miserable. Cam does bring up good points, that she shouldn’t run from her problems, but she is not obligated to help him unless she wants to. And then to learn about this silicone breasted woman makes things even more intriguing. I dislike that he has her against the wall in the cold rain, but at least Bridget is just as turned off by that.

I can only wonder what he’s about to do. It’s wonderful. I really enjoyed this interaction and how real it felt. 9/10

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Elijah buried his nose in The Iliad, which seemed normal enough. It was when Haydn would stare through the small mirror on the desk that he’d notice Elijah chomping his lip raw and straining to focus on the page that the immortal grew confused, and his heart sped up with worry.

“What troubles thee, Elijah? Thou art lost and unfocused. Tell no fibs before me.”

“I had a disagreement with Irina,” Elijah said monotonously.

“About what?”

“About you.”

Haydn sighed. “Oh dear–”

Elijah’s hair flopped as he slammed the book onto his lap. “She thinks that you are using me!” Haydn barely opened his mouth before being cut off. “The nerve of her to insinuate such falsehood when she knows nothing about you.”

“There must be more to this conversation, Elijah. A woman like your Irina would not say such things unless angered. Was she provoked by an unkind statement?”

“She wanted to know if you were coming tonight. I wasn’t sure because I sent you away. And she was upset that I never told Abraham that you were here on Monday night. Then, she asked why I keep our friendship a secret from Abraham if you no longer pose any threat. I never gave her an answer. I only hoped you’d come soon enough to stop the craving. She doesn’t understand why I would befriend you, or why I don’t see the truth of your visits, or why she can’t meet you. But here’s the thing! When I speak highly of you, she finds herself less inclined to meet you.”

Haydn sat in the chair, legs swung over the arm, his long body facing Elijah. He sucked on his cheek as he pondered the conversation and how it went, how vibrant but unhappy it made Elijah and decided it best to be truthful. “Well, I find myself siding with her.”

Elijah’s eyes nearly lept from their sockets with how shocked they’d become.

“Now, now, let me explain. The girl is being withheld information and knowledge. She doesn’t know why. Then comes along you blabbing merrily about this mystery man, this unnamed companion, who you at one time despised. You were very vocal in your hatred. Now, you are very vocal in your fondness. Let’s emphasize that you’ve lied to keep me safe thus endangering your engagement by almost losing the trust of the patriarch. I thank you for that, but how do you not expect Irina to be unhappy with your choices?”

“You were ready to kill Abraham on Monday!”

Haydn pointed to himself. “My stance on that has not changed. He hit you. I was angered and I don’t like Abraham because of it. You never asked me if I believed his sense of betrayal was irrational. It wasn’t. It was how he handled it that angered me.”

“I’m doing this for you, Haydn.”

The vampire smiled but shook his head. “No, my darling, you are not. Why didn’t you answer Irina when she asked why you lied?”

“She wouldn’t have liked my answer.”

“What did you want to say to her that would have upset her?”

Elijah twiddled his thumbs, glancing at his lap. This was the face of shame. He kissed his teeth. “Selfishness. You’re my friend and I don’t want to share you with anyone, not yet anyway. Neither of them would understand our arrangement, our friendship. They wouldn’t understand you, or vampirism, or your feelings for me. It’s too taboo.”

“No, they wouldn’t, but I don’t care. You said it yourself, it’s you that matters to me. If you decided to allow Irina into our world, now, I’d not care! I can’t say the same about Abraham.” He paused to stare into the somber but soulful eyes across the room. “I never thought I’d see the day Elijah Marks was more selfish than I.”

“Please, don’t mock me,” Elijah said beneath the sound of Haydn’s chuckling.

“Oh, don’t be too glum. I meant nothing but the truth. I ask nothing of you. I’m not insisting you change or end your lies or even exclaim to the world of my existence. You’re going to do what you want. It’s your life. I am only lucky to be a part of it. However, be gentle with your fiancee. She knows nothing. A woman is right more times than a man would like to admit. I’m not using you, but she’s right on everything else.”

The boy nodded. Something was still stewing in that overactive brain of his. There was quiet for a bit as Haydn watched Elijah slowly gather the courage to speak a thought that had been bothering him all night. “How terrible is it that I wanted to hit her?”

You’re right about many things : I’m not an English speaker and the original text (French) is very verbose and formal, also the passage come indeed from the middle of the book (actually the 10th chapter, just before the end - which is literally on the next page - ).

There’s no narrator actually, or we could maybe say it follows mostly the actions of Beran here; and the italicized portions are the narrative paragraphs, here in this forum it helps me to read better, otherwise I would have used larger spaces between paragraphs as I do on Wattpad.

As for who’s talking / acting, I can understand it’s hard for those who haven’t read the previous chapters, since they help to recognize a character by his way of talking and his motivations. I think you refer in particular to the moment where Beran punches Vahy ( “For a second silent […] his mouth bleeding”). I admit it’s much more difficult to make this part good in English and differenciate the characters since both are men. I’m actually still looking for a better formulation.

And you’re right when you say it’s a very dramatic moment (with Beran, it’s always the case), that’s maybe why this scene is my favorite among all of my actual chapters. I hesitated with the 4th chapter (thanks once again to Beran)… but then I would have to post the whole chapter X’)

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Favorite character rant? So basically the chapter itself?

I don’t really have anything that’s a rant in the traditional sense:

When I had met Anna-Marie, one of the first nights we allowed her to visit my place, was when she had various cuisine styles she wanted to teach me, because she knew that I liked to cook. She introduced me to Pate D’Alsace, and when I lovingly spoke French to her, she would always correct me on the grammar. But I always took it in good cheer. There was some reason I knew that she didn’t want to come back to her place, so when I was visit with her outside of these occasions, she would hang out at the local bookstore, focusing primarily on foreign language. Of course, the language she chose would be French.

At night, when she once cooked for us, she made a dish that we all really loved. although it was closer to Italian than French, because mom’s rebel streak kept her from being willing to cook in a French fashion all the way, which meant including a tomato sauce in recipes that called for cream, among other variations. One night, Anna-Marie was gone for a little to long, and I wondered why she wasn’t there to teach me how to cook. Then the restroom flushed, but the soup was still boiling, and the tea was brewing.

Hi, Sarah, you are supposed to review the passage above yours.

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No offense, but I’m not sure which one is a chapter or talking about one’s writing. But I can try my best.

And you do realize that mean reviewing an entire chapter right?

I will revise my post as it gets done.

Technically MeryWenn is the one that should post an excerpt, and that’s the one I should review anyway.

Instead of lecturing me, lecture the one that doesn’t post an excerpt.

I already did, actually X) My last post was an answer to BridgesTunnels review.

So, the one you have to review is SoulBurningBright’s.

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Yeah, I made my post before her response to @BridgesTunnels and I myself reviewed her passage. No one messed up anything.

And my words held no malice. No one was lecturing you. I even smiled.

It was pretty clear who posted the last excerpt to be reviewed and who was replying to a comment.

If you did not want to review a ‘chapter’, you should have waited for an excerpt you did want to review instead of ignoring the rules or not reading the rules.

Please do not grow hostile with other members because you were corrected.

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