Foxwood's First Chapter Feedback (FFCF) | open

Offering: First chapter feedback.

What I can look at:
Grammar, Areas which you can improve on, My interest in your story and general story potential out of scale of 0-10 (details in form)

What I will read: All genres EXCEPT FOR erotica, smut, poetry, fanfic, spiritual, non-fiction (reasons being many). If you are not sure, just post it and I may or may not accept.

Request Order?: The order of acceptance is not the order of reading. I will read what I feel like reading when I feel like it (otherwise this is just stressful for me). HOWEVER, once accepted, complete payment :slight_smile:

About me: I have been doing critiques in book clubs, critiques/feedback for free, critiques for about 4 years in total. I’m a grad student, btw. Idk if that tells you anything. Also, I’m asexual so don’t ask me for romance scene advice.

Payment: PAYMENT AFTER ACCEPTANCE (otherwise I feel like I HAVE to accept your book because you already did payment. don’t do that to me.)
Yes, you do have to pay me…in the form of answering these questions about the first chapter of my book “The Scepter of Tamido” as an outline comment on Chapter 1.

  1. What do you think of the character so far?
  2. What do you think of the world so far?
  3. Would you continue reading? Why or why not?

Extra Services: You CAN ask me what I think of your cover (cover maker for 4, 5 years) if you want to.
You CAN come back again for Chapter 2 feedback and payment will be on Chapter 2 of my book.

NOTE: If you have been critiqued by me once upon a time, I would like to know that as well. If you don’t remember (because neither do I), don’t worry about it.

Form:
Story link:
Genre:
First time or second time using me?:
What you want me to do (choose from below):

  • grammar (want me to mention every single grammar issue? I will. I may also tell you how to fix it)
  • areas which you can improve on (like description, word usage, sentence flow, info-dump, etc)
  • interest level (personal): Scale of 0/10 I’ll tell you how much this intrigues me and why. Subjective.
  • story potential (general): Scale of 0/10 Does this have potential to be an awesome story regardless of my interest? Objective.
  • all of the above: Choosing this does not affect payment.

Accepted QUEUE (complete payment after acceptance please)
@breathedy (waiting for payment) all of the above
@lovestorieswriter (waiting for payment) all but mostly first 2

(Your name will be moved to Completed List below once payment to me and feedback to you have been completed)

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Completed List
@holysacrilege
@milee_s
@theworksofghosts
@Angela-writes
@chloboshoka
@gabbygirly
@Mara-R-Writing
@Amazing_Aims

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Feedback Example
(permission to post from @holysacrilege. This is what a feedback from me will look like for people who have requested “all of the above”. In-line comments on grammar and flow are left in the chapter. Cover critique is an extra option you CAN ask for if you want.)

FFCF

Interest level: 6/10
Despite the fact that I did enjoy the little moments of aw, and sweetness, and the slight twist of the sister being dead (I assumed cancer patient, asylum, jail, bed-ridden, brain dead, etc), personally a little predictable relationship-wise (don’t mind me, I’m good at predicting XD) and, not that I won’t enjoy a bxb story, I just don’t really enjoy romance. I have read romance stories passed a third or forth chapter, but it never really brings me beyond that. Idk. Just not my thing.

Story potential: 9/10 As long as you are careful when you introduce backstory (it’s good to show not tell and pepper it throughout the story), I think this has pretty good potential. The comments on this chapter seem quite positive indicating good reception. The first chapter also does not give too much away and leaves enough for a reader to want more.

Cover: It’s a simple, clean cover. Easy to read title (although no author name? not an issue). Clever text placement and the colors are nice (I’m not biased because I like blue). I’m not entirely sure what the sneaker is for. It kind of doesn’t match with what I read in the blurb. Seeing the sneaker initially made me wonder if this was going to be a sports novel which I am not particularly fond of unless I know the sport well. So a bit misleading, in my opinion.

That concludes my feedback. Any questions, PM me. If I sound abrupt, you’ve been critiqued by me before, you know I mean well. Good luck in your writing endeavors :slight_smile:

Story Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/174495975-all-american-boys-b-x-b
Genre: New Adult / Romance
First time?: Second time, but the first time was a long time ago and on another book.
What would I like you to do: All of the above + cover

I’d like you to critique my prologue please. Thank you!

Accepted!

I’ve been trying to wrangle my first chapter into shape this week. I’d appreciate another pair of eyes!

Good luck with grad school! I just graduated from mine :slight_smile:

Story Link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/186795423-those-who-would-not-be-gods
Genre: High Fantasy/adventure
First time?: Yes
What I’d like: All of the above!

Accepted!

1 Like

Would you mind if I posted your feedback that I did in this shop to show people what they’re in for?

If it bothers you, I can ask someone else or post a fake one.

1 Like

Story link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/180184907-all-for-love

Genre: Romance.
First time or second time: None.
What I want you to do: Level of interest (Personal)

story link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/189716651-house-of-the-haunted
genre: paranormal
what I want you to do: all
first time using you

I have a Satirical Open Fan Fic (aka you don’t have to know the source material to be able to read it) would that be an exception to the Fan Fic rule or no?

Oh no, not at all! Please go ahead!

1 Like

Accepted!

Accepted :slight_smile:

Why don’t you fill out the form and let me take a look at it? :slight_smile:

Form:
Story link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/84649370-blood-rise-blue-bloods-2
Genre: werewolf/ vampire
First time or second time using me?: first time!
What you want me to do (choose from below): interest and potential please??

Form:
Story link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/180535141-innocent-emily-kim
Genre: Teen Fiction Romance
First time or second time using me?: First time
What you want me to do (choose from below):

*** areas which you can improve on (like description, word usage, sentence flow, info-dump, etc)**
*** interest level (personal): Scale of 0/10 I’ll tell you how much this intrigues me and why. Subjective.**
*** story potential (general): Scale of 0/10 Does this have potential to be an awesome story regardless of my interest? Objective.**

If you only want me to choose one, I think the most important to me is knowing if you objectively think the story has potential. Thank you so much for doing this. :relaxed: I’d also love to know what you think of the cover. If that costs extra to know though, then please let me know before you answer.

Cover judging does not cost any extra :slight_smile:

1 Like

Accepted!

Please complete payment (I have just finished feedback)

Accepted!

1 Like

@Amazing_Aims

I’ve finished your feedback. Please complete payment. Thank you :slight_smile: