Funny stories about ur family

Ok. This isn’t an actual game but it’s as good as one to me. so I have a big and I mean BIG family. A big family makes for a lot of fun stories, right?
This thread is so that u can tell other people funny stories that happened in ur household. Have fun!

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So, you want to know about the time my sister shook the floor in our house by farting? No joke. That shiz happened for real.

Okay, strap in for this one:

I walk out of my room and want to talk to my dad about something. I don’t remember what and it isn’t important, but I get to the living room and start talking. Everyone is watching television and out of nowhere we hear this loud, deep thunder start rolling. I feel it in my feel and my eyes get wide. My sister sees this and starts laughing. As she laughs the thunder shifts and starts to follow the beat of her body heaving up and down. The vibrations in my feet change and a resounding “Hot damn!” leaves both my father’s and my own mouths at the same time. How the floor did not fall out from under her is beyond me…

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:joy::joy: wow!

once one of my sisters had friends over for her birthday and we decided to play werewolf. So the guy in charge told us to close our eyes and someone made a reference to a song we knew so all of our family started singing the song. One of her friends, Laura, said ‘I thought the cult was after the game started.’
to this day she still doesn’t understand our family

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So, my dad and I are super close, but we have that weird relationship where insults are a sign of love. I did some time in the military, and after I got out and come home I went a good two weeks without him really having anything “smart ass” to say. I call him up and ask if he still loves me. When he asked why I would ask such a thing I said, “Because you haven’t insulted me in like two weeks.”
He laughed and replied, “Jack ass” so I laughed, said thanks and love you, then hung up…

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That’s funny!:joy::joy: My and my sisters will do that but not like that!

It is an oddly wonderful thing to have in life. My whole family is a bit off I suppose. Just sitting here at the computer I’m smiling and thinking of all sorts of things that have happened in the last cough cough many years.

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yeah…it’s funny to think of stories in the last few years and people definitely need to laugh

Laughing is a wonderful medicine for sure. Helps you live longer I’m sure. So I shouldn’t die for, oh, probably a million years…Maybe that is because no God(s) or Demon(s) want to have to deal with me. lol

:joy::joy: nah. I think good health helps u live longer. The longest to ever live was Methuselah, 969 years I think. good record if u ask me

Assuming they chronicled the years in the same way we do now, absolutely, it was an amazing record. According to Irish Mythology Tuan mac Cairill lived long beyond those years. He was there before the flood and lived through to the time of St. Patrick in one form or another before eventually being converted to Christianity. It is never revealed if he eventually died or if he still lives in the deep places of Ireland remembering everything since the beginning of time.

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This story has two parts, with the second part being the funny family story.

My younger brother, who recently graduated high school at the time, has asthma so asked Mom to smoke outside. Our family at the time mostly stayed in our rooms and avoided each other, so he didn’t realize Mom had called in sick from work. Because we live in a cold and foggy area, Mom didn’t feel like standing outside to smoke, so stuck her head out of her window to smoke. Their windows are right next to each other, so when she stuck her head out, she saw him with a lemon pipe—the actual citrus fruit, not a ceramic pipe in the shape of a lemon—smoking weed. From then on, she continued smoking in the house, ignoring any and all complaints from him.

About a year or more later, we had a family reunion of sorts. My biological dad died when I was really little, so we had essentially lost touch with that side of the family. They invited us over for dinner to catch up and junk. Me, my brother and Mom were nervous about the dinner overall. The last I remember of that side of the family was that my grandma yelled a lot, my older female cousin had kids while she was still in high school, my male cousin who was around my age was a creep, but my uncle was really cool. We arrive and hung out a while. I didn’t talk a whole lot, which shocked no-one since I was always shy and didn’t like talking with strangers.

Finally, the dinner starts. We all take our seats, and I sat between my mom and brother. My uncle sat across from us and asked us the normal questions. “Do you drink? Do drugs?” My brother and I said no, and then Uncle asked, “Weed?” I shook my head, but when my brother denied it, my mom and I looked right at him, giving him away. Everyone nearly choked on whatever they were eating.

My mom had to tell the story to the family of how we found out.

To tease my brother (cause no one in my family cares about smoking weed), Uncle asked, “So, how do you make a pipe out of a lemon?” My brother got flustered, and said that he didn’t know. Uncle handed him a lemon and said, “Here, make a pipe for me, won’t you?” My brother plead the fifth, but stupidly took the lemon. My Uncle noticed that he actually took the lemon, and said, “Well, if Life hands you a lemon, make a pipe.”

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Not much to say, really.

Brother eats a lot. Mother always gets in the way.

Father plays lucky games and wastes our money and also yells a lot along with my brother.

Granpa can’t even walk more than a meter without help.

Me? Oh. Hi. I’m Mack.

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Hi Mack!

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My bro and I were discussing odd and unusual foods when our mom pondered aloud, “Hmm, people eat beaver, don’t they?” It was like the most high-stakes game of “keep a straight face” I’ve ever played.

Honestly, I don’t have many fun stories about my family, unless you count the time I slapped my mama in the face with a fish. It was the first time I’d ever been fishing. Dad, of course, had to bait my hook because I do not like creepy crawlies and I am not messing with anything that has either a thousand legs or none at all. Anyway, time goes by… I then hook a fish. I was so excited reeling that sucker in. It wasn’t big, more of a catch-and-toss-back fish, and when it came out of the water near us it was flapping around, I reeled in some more, and slung it backwards… where my mom was sitting behind me and got SLAPPED right in the kisser with a fish.

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We had a cottage on a nearby lake. For months, our parents’ friends would show up right at dinnertime. They never brought anything to eat, drink, or whatever. Now we were not wealthy and didn’t buy extra so it meant we all had to do with a little less for dinner.

The first dozen times we would laugh at the imposition but it started to get old. No matter what kind of hints we gave they still showed up with nothing.

My mother got a great idea but didn’t tell the rest of us.

Here is how she fixed the problem. The very next night right on schedule they showed up. After dinner was over, my mother called the dogs in and let them lick the plates clean. Mom, then stacked the plates back in the cupboard and declared she didn’t have to do dishes.

They never showed up again.

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Been a while since this thread was active!
Anyone else got some funny stories about their family?

My sister’s confirmation took place on mother’s day, so we were going to hand out roses to all of the mothers present. Which, of course, meant we placed empty vases on the tables. Because we plan ahead like that in my family. Sometimes.

So the moment to hand out the roses arrived, and there’s a bit of confusion because I’m supposed to do it and I’m not good with talking in front of lots of people, even if they’re family, and so what I’m doing isn’t clear right from the start.

It does become clear, however, when my gran loudly says “Oh, so they’re mother’s day roses. And those are vases on the tables.” And then she turns to me and says “I’m afraid you’ll have to refill this one, dear, I’ve already drunk all the water.”

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:open_mouth::rofl: