Funny Things You’ve Written

So, what funny things have you written as of late?

Shortly summarize. What would happen if the lead and second main ended up in the same class together. This is not a school themed story. :dog2:

Anyway, what about you lot? What funny things have you written recently?

The sword was brought down upon her. Amneris caught the blade on her staff though she struggled to keep her ground. The Dark King pressed harder. The wood of the staff begun to splinter. Amneris spun to the side. The sword hit the ground as she frowned at the scratch on the polished wood.

She glared at her opponent, the crystals of the staff glowing in response. “I’m gonna have to get that fixed now.”

“I assure you,” the Dark King growled, “that will be the least of your concerns by the time I am done with you.”

Amneris barked a laugh. “Prove it, asshole.”

The Dark King’s power flared in response. Amneris had enough time to think oh shit before a beam of crimson struck her body. With a scream, she went flying. Amneris hit the ground hard, skidding through the mud until someone grasped her shoulders. She was dragged to a stop.

Amneris opened her eyes to find Leo looking down at her, his obsidian eyes laced with question. She sat up, attempting to shake mud from her hair. “Well, I did ask him to prove it.”

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:joy::joy:

He proved it. XD

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That he did :joy:

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I wrote about a character say her wedding vows seconds before she almost gets swallowed by a giant carnivorous plant. It’s the most strangest but fun chapter I have written.

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And that happened. :joy:

:joy:

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Mine basically found out what would happen if Cyra and Valor ended up in the same class together. XD

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Nick rushed to the door and threw it open. The neon light from the motel sign shone across the parking lot. He was just in time to catch sight of the deer as it awkwardly tip-tapped across the rear corner of the lot on its graceful deer legs. It paused and looked around at him, one hoof raised like a question mark.

It glared. Nick hastily slammed the door shut.

Now he heard angry muttering from the room next door. He ignored it as he twisted the lock and leaned his back against the door. His heartbeat hammered in his ears.

Well. It had taken a day, but the deer had found him. All the way from Windsor, it had followed him. So that was a thing that had happened. Unless this was a whole other deer. Yeah. There were thousands of deer up here in cottage country. Yeah. They trotted through backyards and ate at county dumps. No, wait. Maybe that was bears.

Why hadn’t his phone warned him about this, like it had warned him about the car? Cheeky god-damned deer friendly Apple motherfucker.

A desperate thought raced through his mind. His shaving kit was with him. It was in the bathroom next to the sink. But no, by the time he ran and grabbed it and armed himself, the deer would be long gone. Pranced off on mysterious deer business.

So Nick went to bed.

Actually, he dragged a floral-print armchair in front of the door first and wedged it under the handle. Then he slammed shut all of the curtains in his room and turned on the bathroom light.

And then he went to bed.

He slept poorly, his shaving kit crammed under his pillow.

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My feelings about Apple. :dog2:

So I am guessing him and deer’s do not get along. :joy:

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Haha! He and this particular deer do not! :smile:

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“Then something broke.”

Those words, not as dialogue, just part of the narrative. They’re the funniest thing I’ve written as of late. Not that funny, I know.

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a girl was hiding a dangerous box from her mom in her closet, so in order for her mom to not look in the closet, the girl said it was box of condoms

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I think that makes it worse. XD

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Kek muttered something Nikki could not understand. Whatever it was, it was enough for both Amneris and Colt to go to him. In unison, they punched his face, before returning to where they had been.

Nikki was gaping. “That was . . . That was . . . Wow.”

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Cloud turned a page in his history book, shaking his head. “To many names. This stuff is so hard to understand. Who is Ishkambarr the Second, for example? The book doesn’t say.”

“Yes, it does.” Keldie leaned over to see her twin’s textbook.
[…]

“See?” She pointed at a line of small, printed words in the paragraph near the top of the page. “It says here that Ishkambarr the second was King Abrahath’s right-hand man before he was slain in battle.”

“Abrahath must have been really left-handed if he needed a right-handed man to help him in battle.”

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“Don’t be daft!” Genesis shouted to Jordan from across the street, posture straight, strides long, enunciating daft. “I don’t have the time to go to the dance!”
“Sure you do! There’s no homework that night!”
“I have to-”
“Deputy said he’d take care of it!”
“He ain’t takin’ care of shit if he’s gonna go dance too mate!”
“Well then there’s still the sheriff-”
“What about the sheriff?” A voice, low and sweet, greeted the Primo Noctem Syndicate just as her face smashed into a brick wall.

Almost smashed into a brick wall.

The only thing stopping her from doing so was a warm body, smelling of ash and lavender and birchwood burned in a fireplace in the middle of the winter.
Genesis could recognise that smell from anywhere.
Apparently, so could her Secondo, but with his eyes.

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They both punched em? :joy:

I am not surprised. This is you after all. :dog2:

——————

Not too long, Valor enters into the classroom. Looking at important documents in his hand. Not realizing who is within the room as well. The goddess taking notice of such, thinking of how pleasurable it will be to torture him now. The odds of such an arrangement happening? It might as well be nonexistent. Standing at his desk, lowering the documents to the table. Freezing for a moment, seeing his wife resting her head casually upon the outer part of her hand. A teasing smile extending from her face.

The god quickly flipping through the documents for the attendance schedule. Desperately hoping that this has been some kind of mistake. Looking through the schedule, there he sees her name clearly upon the paper. ‘Erit Cyra Von.’ Wondering why they are including her middle name. Never mind this small detail, looking towards her, the god slowly losing hope.

“Well…I didn’t have this job too long. Looking at the bright side…” he uneasily thinks.

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Ohhh, I get it. Really left handed. XD

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Ummm…might be me, but I am not getting the joke. Mind explaining it a bit? :dog2:

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