“The heart and the mind were often on opposite sides, trying to pull the other over the line. The tussle was always ongoing and for Inaaya Bansal, it was about to get all the more strenuous.”
A little wordy this. I also don’t think it’s a great passage to lead with. Try incorporating it into one of the others?
“Inaaya was travelling through Canada with a well-planned itinerary in her hands. Though at no date or time was it penned down for her to witness a handsome, paranormal stranger morph into a large grey-white wolf. Axel Ellis claimed to be her soulmate and proposed for her to stay with him. To see where destiny leads them.”
Last sentence doesn’t need to be there. lots of description here, so it does give a good picture of what to expect. The whole style of this reads as if it’s a narrator talking about what is happening in the book. Phrases like “penned down” distance me a little from the character.
“In the blink of an eye, Inaaya went from being a lonely twenty-three-year-old to deciding whether to move in with a stranger, a werewolf no less. How life had taken such a turn, she didn’t know. And the only options in sight: either to give a hand to her ever rational mind or perhaps, lend some support to her habitually mercurial heart this time.”
This is a much better paragraph, could start of with this I think with a bit of adaptation.
“All that remains to be seen is where the rope will weigh heavier. For the winner of this round might just take the lead in the ones awaiting Inaaya in future.”
This doesn’t make all that much sense, and not sure you need it here.
Think you have it all in there, and it should work well, just needs a little shifting around with maybe a few bits taking out.
Here is mine, which is a murder-mystery for young teens…
A fourteen year old girl named Evie and her family go to stay in a creepy old house in a remote mountain village, only to find the caretaker of the house is dead.
Her list of suspects is getting longer and a white cat keeps turning up where it shouldn’t. Can she find out who the murderer is before her own family is suspected?