Get Your Fantasy Summary Rated!


#1

HiHi! I saw something like this for a different genre so I thought, why not? Post the summary of one story down below and get it rated. It will be out of 10. Like x/10.DO NOT skip the person before you. Rate the one before you then post yours in the same post.

DO NOT share links to your story here. If you want to advertise, Share Your Story thread is the place to go.

Please be polite and have fun!

Let’s go!

Hazelwood:

Betsy Benoit, a native from Louisiana, has moved to Hazelwood, Vermont when she inherited a house from her great Aunt Louis. Now after participating in a ritual with one of the town’s witches, Betsy is seeing memories not her own. That same night a mysterious man named Oliver comes to town and claims to be her roommate’s cousin from overseas.

Just when Betsy believes she is settling, the town’s antique shop owner, Julian, wiggles his way into her life and despite her friends begging her to stay away from him, she just can’t. Now she must figure out who she truly is and who she can truly trust. The people who seem to know her more or herself?


#2

I’ve give it a solid 7/10. The blurb could use a little tightening up but that comes down to write, write, and rewrite. All-in-all, I’d probably give the first chapter a go

Ether Roots

Ten years of hiding has given Anna Coleman one thing she can count on: anonymity. She’s a ghost, blending in, disappearing. Forgetful. Forgotten. Safe.

After a decade of running, Anna believes her past and its ordeals are truly behind her, but heritage is impossible to shake. Especially a heritage that revolves around a Community far removed from normal society: one where magic and knacks are as common as varying shades of hair color. Where the elements can take flesh and blood form and reality bends at the whims of witches and lesser gods.

Anna may pass as a human. She may walk and talk like the None-ether Sensitives that fill the streets of New York, but she is far from NESy, and she is far from safe. Something lurks on the fringes of the Community, hungry and hateful, thinning the barrier between reality and the monsters waiting beyond the veil.


#3

6.50/10 The first sentece is quite hooking, however, it does make it seem more like a paranormal book then a fantasy. It does sound interesting, but itś a bit long. I read somewhere that the best descriptions/summaries are 1 to 5 sentences long, and less then 150 words. I can´t say I disagree. The point of a description is to hook the reader. Not to give the entire plot away.

Dagger

When her father dies, young Eliza Herolan is given the duty of protecting the Light Dagger. An ancient as well as a powerful artifact.
As with any element of power, there is one who pursues it. As a consequence, Lady Anhera of Illicus is tumbling head of heels to get the artifact.
And though Eliza is warned, she is not prepared when blood is spilled and a devastating downward spiral begins…


#4

5/10. It’s way too vague. I’m not getting a sense of the setting or what really makes this story fantastical. I don’t know what the Light Dagger does - just that’s it’s old and powerful, but powerful how?

And I don’t think there’s always someone who pursues elements of power. And who is Lady Anhera? You gotta introduce her and tell a little about her.

All in all, there’s just too much information tossed out without any context and that makes it hard to get interested.


Feral

Inmate C41 is the youngest registered feral; someone unable to control his animal urges and aggressions. Imprisoned for as long as he can remember, he has only known life inside the colourless walls of the Feral Youth Rehabilitation Center in Ireland.

Upon turning eighteen, C41 is transferred to the Adult Feral Rehabilitation Center in Scotland and finds the place to be nothing like the Irish one. The biggest change is the supervisor he is assigned during transfer. Birdie, a mysterious American agent, endlessly probes him with questions. But C41 does the only thing he thinks will help him survive - he lies.

Secrets soon follow the lies, and as the deceptions mount, the walls that C41 built around himself begin to crack. He wonders if he was ever feral to begin with and if the reason he went to prison happened as he was told. With his entire world threatening to implode upon him as he tries to uncover the truth, the one thing C41 knows for sure is:

He needs to get the fuck out of prison.


#5

AWFraiser this might seem a bit biased because it’s my description, but I do want to say that descriptions are supposed to be vague. They are supposed to make readers ask questions, as so the reader will open the book and begin reading to get the questions answered. Descrptions are supposed to be a teaser. They aren’t supposed to give the plot away.


#6

It doesn’t feel like fantasy. Far closer to science fiction with mystery elements, neither are really my genre. But I’ll give what advice I can.

This was kind of a drop in tension for me. You have a teen being sent to a prison of super aggressive adults and the biggest change is a nosy supervisor? That wasn’t what I was expecting.

This is a nearly pointless detail but it does return to my previous point. I couldn’t help but pause to wonder: "If he’s the youngest, and he’s now an adult, does that mean the previous center is now empty?

So he went from being one of the only occupants of the Youth Prison and became the youngest occupant of the Adult Prison. I feel like there would be transitional conflicts that could be mentioned as well and would increase reader interest. Unless I’m missing details and this wasn’t much of a change because they’re all kept isolated or something. Just my thoughts as I read.

As far as I can tell, this is a strong finish, every sentence tightening the drama of the situation, especially the amusing last sentence (which must break some publishing rule). I wont rate it, since none of these sub genres really appeal to me, but I think it’s a pretty solid intro for the intended audience.


#7

-Moved-


#8

Which I definitely agree with - but you gotta give readers something. It’s not really hooking me or making me ask the good kinds of questions. It’s just making me a little confused to what the story is even about and what the themes are.

You’re not supposed to give away the entire plot, but to sell some parts of it. Like “This is a story about Harry Potter, who’s a wizard that goes to a magical school.” Here, I’ve still left out a bunch of stuff, like Voldemort being the big baddie and stuff.

I can’t really pick up any plot points from your story besides there’s a dagger. So while you definitely shouldn’t give away your entire plot, you gotta give a little. Does that make sense? (I feel like I’m rambling a bit here, lol)

@LoneStarDragon thank you for the feedback! It’s super low Dark Urban Fantasy, but I can definitely see where you’re coming. It’s making me rethink some stuff. Thanks again :slight_smile:


#9

I will generally agree with this. Though there are clear hints of fantasy, it is never directly stated beyond “power”. I will, however, suggest the opposite for Lady Anhera. We don’t need more about her, I think we need less. Her name isn’t really important. She wants the dagger, that’s all we really need to know right now.

My main concern, however, isn’t the vagueness, but the fact that we are probably told more about the dagger than Eliza. And if her father died protecting the dagger, I’d mention that. Makes his death a little more interesting than if he fell down stairs or something. Unless he fell down stairs or something.


#10

I’ll bump this down for convenience.

LSD:

"In the 1860’s, the dragon Orion and his siblings were not only the pride of the Union Army, but one its darkest secrets. They are the first of a new breed. Living symbols of national strength and liberty, chained by loyalty to their captive mother. So when a feral dragon aiding the Confederacy offers Orion the opportunity to fulfill his hope of liberating his family, he puts himself at her disposal.

But she is far more conflicted in her desires. With one eye she envisions a grand coalition between men and dragons, the start of a new age, a new nation. The other beholds a prolonged and ruinous war that leave north and south spent and shattered. Never again a threat to dragonkind. Never again united."


#11

10/10 I think this is a great summary, it informs me of the important facts without overwhelming me with names or information that isn’t vitally important to hooking me. It shows what is unique about your story, and sets up two paths for the story to take without giving any hints as to which will be chosen. This definitely leaves me wanting to know more!

The Order of Ferryn:
With the help of her uncle, Aveline escapes an unwanted marriage and travels to a distant land where she becomes a trainee intent on joining the Order of Ferryn. She embarks on a quest to grow stronger while also forming friendships, particularly with the boy chosen to help her learn the sword.

Jayden lost everything in the war between humans and the beastmen who threaten their lands. He was saved by Knights of the Order, and has dedicated his life to growing strong so he can someday join them in their battle against the monsters. His single-mindedness is challenged when a new girl enters his class and he is asked to be her mentor.


#12

I’d give it a 9/10, I like the mirror / parallel effect and the way the plot is introduced, although it’d be better to add a few words about this famous Order, since except its name we don’t know anything about it, also, does the two Orders mentioned in each part are the same ? This fact is a bit confusing, but that’s all ^^

Incarnations

Klade stares at the sky with his pensive eyes. The clouds have dispersed to give way to the stars. He can now contemplate this nocturnal veil, since always filled with mysteries and subject to the wildest rumors.

One of them, in particular, has been consuming him for a long time. Because he knows the truth. He knows what lies behind the myths. He knows why, 500 years ago, the constellation of Capricorn has disappeared from the celestial world.

Or at least he thought he knew it. Because she was there. In front of him. The constellation of Capricorn is a woman. And the first thing she did when she opened her eyes for the first time was to try to kill him…


#13

I’d give this 6.5/10.

I really don’t like excerpts when they’re used as summaries. It’s written well enough and reads nicely, but this tells me absolutely nothing about your story. And it feels like all the stuff about Capricorn just comes out of no where (that’s the problem with excerpts – they don’t give you any context). If it was just about quality of writing, maybe I’d read on. But if I’ve clicked in to read your summary, personally, this wouldn’t make me read on. I like to have an idea what I’m getting into – and I don’t think this gives me that.


Dragonscale

A servant in the palace of Tamar, Mara Vilaro’s life is shaken when the cruel prince of a warring country sneaks into the palace to murder the royal family, including the man she loves.

She doesn’t expect the prince to steal her away with him and force her to pose as the missing princess of the Meridian Isles.

And she certainly doesn’t expect to find a dragon trapped in the depths of his castle.

Mara has never been much of a fighter. But now, she’s forced to choose: pose as a princess and marry the man who murdered the love of her life, or free the dragon whose voice echoes eerily within her mind and seek shelter with the rebellion it fights for.

Dragged across an ocean and into a war she hadn’t even known was being waged, Mara will fight like she has never fought before… or die trying.


#14

so, this is a spoiler, but…Eliza’s father (Carlac) was actually poisoned by an assassin. But no one (including the reader) is supposed to know that till they actually get to the part where a friend of Carlac’s tells Eliza that, and how he found out. So Eliza didn’t even know about it.
I don’t really know what to say about Eliza without giving too much away, nor do I really know how give the hints that the book is fantasy…so…I’m kind stuck. :expressionless:


#15

Going off the advice of a published friend of mine and how they constructed their blurb: You can’t just have a hook, you have to add bait to it.

Hooks are all well and good, but throwing an unbaited hook into the water is pretty much going to ensure you don’t get any nibbles. Your hook is fine but it lacks bait. Don’t worry about giving away the plot. If you know what you’re doing, there will be enough twists and turns in your novel to draw readers in and keep them there, but you have to bait your hook by adding some meat to your blurb.

One more thing, blurb lengths are subjective. They can range between 100 - 300 words, give or take the genre. My genre is Urban Fantasy, hence a meatier hook. I’ve seen some go as large as 400 in published novels.


#16

I give this a 7.5/10

I was initially disinterested, but as you drew an image of your reluctant captive be dragged away as a prisoner my interest was piqued. Not sure why the posing as a princess bit kind of diminished things for me, but it does. I like it though.

Burning Road

Miminda is a troublemaker at heart. She’s a goblin, its her nature, and she’s good at it. Khouri is a rebel without a cause, and down on his luck. Despite being from two different worlds their fates are intertwined in ancient and unexpected ways. When a demon’s plot brings them together the pair and their friends must stand as one or fall to pieces. Win or lose neither the land of man or The Under will be the same.


#17

I like the names. I also like how there is a goblin who isnt evil. Normally they are hemchmen and underlings to the evil doers. Im wondering how the demon’s plot ties their fates. Sadly it doesn’t seem like mu cup of tea. 8.5/10

From, Knights of Lore: The Assault (book two)

Kariah-Belle has been a knight for twelve months. Barely a year on her planet and she has faced Dracula - and survived. Now another threat lies before her.

In the wake of the deadly Darkness invasion, humanity is forced underground. Cities and kingdoms everywhere have fallen, converted into the invaders’ strongholds, and all hope seems lost.

However, Kariah-Belle and her comrades are not going to stand idly by. Having learnt of an ancient relic that could fend off the invaders, she and Aya are tasked with recovering it and liberate the human race. At the same time, Kaden and Rygilya find themselves stranded in the icy lands of T’nariah after having narrowly won back their freedom. Can Kaden convince his former best friend to put their differences aside? Or will Rygilya decide to claim Kaden’s head and the dark god that dwells within him?

Iris has decided to lead the hunt for the mole who has deceived the four nations while forming unlikely alliances. She waa determined to make whoever had sold out Kariah-Belle to the vympiri lord would pay dearly.

Akiio is placed in a platoon under Holy Knights to find out why an indigenous kingdom lost all communications. What she finds in the snowy land of T’nariah will break her.

The thrilling second book in the Knights of Lore series!

With the Darkness in control of Lore, humankind and Vympiri alike face their darkest days.


#18

5/10 It’s intriguing and descriptive, but needs some fine tuning. I’m also not a fan of summaries that ask me questions. It feels odd and gives plot points away.

I was going to do a commentary, but it’s a long summary so I did a wholesale edit. If that bothers you, just skip it.

If not, read through and reuse what bits you like.


Kariah-Belle has been a knight for barely twelve months and she has faced Dracula - and survived. Now, another threat lies before her.

In the wake of the invading Darkness, cities everywhere have fallen and kingdoms have been converted into enemy strongholds, and humanity is forced underground. All hope seems lost.

However, Kariah-Belle and her comrades are not going to stand idly by. Having learnt of a relic that could fend off the invaders, she and Aya are tasked with recovering it.

At the same time, Kaden and Rygilya find themselves stranded in the icy lands of T’nariah after having narrowly won back their freedom. Kaden tries to convince his former best friend to put their differences aside as Rygilya considers whether to claim Kaden’s head and the dark god that dwells within him.

Iris forms unlikely alliances as she leads the hunt for the mole who has deceived the four nations, determined to make whoever had betrayed Kariah-Belle to the vympiri lord pay dearly.

Akiio is placed in a platoon under Holy Knights to find out why an indigenous kingdom lost all communications. What she finds in the snowy land of T’nariah will break her.

With the Darkness in control of Lore, humankind and Vympiri alike face their bleakest days.


#19

Lone Star Dragon:

In the 1860’s, the dragon Orion and his siblings were not only the pride of the Union Army, but one its darkest secrets. They are the first of a new breed. Living symbols of national strength and liberty, chained by loyalty to their captive mother. So when a feral dragon allied with the rebellion offers Orion the hope of liberating his family, he puts himself at her disposal.

But she is far more conflicted in her desires. With one eye she envisions a grand coalition between men and dragons, the start of a new age, a new nation. The other beholds a prolonged and ruinous war that leaves north and south spent and shattered. Never again a threat to dragonkind. Never again united.


#20

7/10. I really like the plot behind your story, but it took me a couple of reads to fully understand what you were saying. Where you write about each eye seeing a different future it gets a little fuzzy. Are the dragons fighting against the Union Army? Men? What is keeping these strong creatures under someone else’s rule?


From Embers:

In a post-apocalyptic world, supernatural beings took the chance to live in the open after hiding themselves throughout history. With the human race underground, the New World settles into a false sense of peace, until trouble starts to brew again. Humans want the world back, and they’ll do almost anything to achieve their goal.

Having spent her life hidden from the world, a young woman escapes her Caretakers only to find herself in the middle of a brewing war. Thrust into a mismatched group and set on a mission to prevent another apocalypse, it’s hard for Jai-Jai to keep her past in the past. It’s even harder when a nosy vampire is continuously trying to uncover her secrets; secrets which could not only change the course of the war but, the fate of the world.