8.5/10. The blurb has a good summary, but I think referring to your main character as simply, “he” doesn’t do anything for me to relate to him. I think I understand why you didn’t put his name, based on reading the entire thing. As I kept reading I hoped that his name would be revealed, or at least something I could call him. I assume that somewhere in the book the reader would uncover his real name/true identity. So I understand why you wouldn’t want that in the blurb. I would also assume that he would adopt a name or be given a name by others. It’s just a lot of “he” and “his”.
You also have some superfluous lines/verbiage that could be tightened up. For instance, I don’t think you need “And that’s where it all begins…” The first line of the second paragraph could be tightened up as well.
But over all, it gives me a good idea of the story-obviously a fantasy adventure. Other than my critiques I find it interesting and I’d probably pick up the book based on the information given in the current blurb.
My Book… I actually have two summaries. The first is for the paperback edition, and the other is on the interior flap of my hardcover edition. The first is currently up on Wattpad.
Title: A Prince’s Errand
"Several millennia ago a war raged between the factions of dragonkind. With their world ravaged, the Kaldean Alliance forged the Amulet of Draconic Control and the Tethering Stone, and banished their foes to other realms, saving Kalda from utter destruction. Fearing the power of the Amulet, the survivors secreted it away. But now knowledge of the Amulet has resurfaced-and in the wrong hands, war could erupt anew.
Over the last thousand years, the men of Kalda have regressed into a medieval age. Tevisrals-magical objects-are scarce and outlawed in certain Kingdoms. Though mages are abundant, tevisrals are precious and often tip the balance of power.
Seeking knowledge of the past, a necromancer-scholar allies with Kaescis-a prince from the Mindolarn Empire-to find the treasures of a lost civilization. They embark on their quest with a mixed band of skilled mages and seasoned adventurers. One among them, Cornar Dol’shir, suspects an unspoken sinister plot and warily leads his men, but happens upon a discovery that will forever change the world of Kalda."
"Kalda is a world of magic and wonder. Long ago, men harnessed the Channels of Power, creating tevisrals–devices capable of manifesting magic. But men weren’t the only ones to accomplish such feats. Dragons crafted the most sophisticated tevisrals. These shaped the world, defining civilization of both man and elf alike.
Centuries after a cataclysmic war–abated only by the Crimson Eye–the men Kalda have fallen into a dark age, where elves are estranged, and dragons are no more. Tevisrals which made Kalda utopian are lost. Now men trade everything for tevisrals. But there are some men who wish to bury the past, and in their lands possessing tevisrals is tantamount to treason.
Still, some men scour the world in search of Kalda’s past. One such man, the scholar Krindal, ventures across the world in search of an ancient order known as the Keepers of Truth and Might–a coalition that kept the world aright, but has long since disappeared.
Prince Kaescis Midivar also searches for these Keepers. The death of his uncle, the late emperor of Mindolarn, killed his hopes for peace with the Kingdom of Los. His empire’s survival hinges upon unearthing the Keepers’ secrets.
An aging warrior, Cornar Dol’shir, longs for the days to be home with his wife. But his retirement must wait, as his band of adventurers is recruited to help find the Keepers’ hidden temple on the Isle of Klindala.
Haunted by his past, Iltar seeks to unravel the mysteries held within the Codices of Soron Thahan–a volume of prophecy foretelling the advent of the Unspoken One and the return of the Crimson Eye. His search takes him to Mindolarn, where all is not as it seems."