Get your Teen Fiction summary rated!


#228

You made me laugh sooo hard!! thank you for the review. Will take in consideration your points. :slight_smile:


#229

I hope you laughed good-naturedly? I just re-read my comment and I noticed it couldโ€™ve come off as a bit harsh. Iโ€™m sorry if you interpreted it that way. I have a way of being too blunt sometimes.


#230

no!!! i laughed because what you said sounds true! stalkerish guy, that was so funny to me. no worries, no harm feelings, we are all learning, thatโ€™s the point of this.


#231

Okay Iโ€™m not sure if this is needed at all because honestly, what does it tell about the story to the reader? I feel like the summary only starts when you start describing Louis. Because it looks shorter and simpler, I would write these two paragraphs into one long instead of two short ones:

โ€˜Louis Stan had always been an outcast. There was no denying that the walls he had put up between himself and other people was the cause of this but being gay hadnโ€™t helped either. However, being an outsider wasnโ€™t his only problem: he had always tried to see the light, even in the darkest times, but with each passing day, it got harder. He becomes more closed off. Not letting the light reach him.โ€™

You use too much of Louisโ€™ name so try to use more of even โ€˜he/himโ€™ because that can sound repetitive to readers. 7/10

The Lies That We Tell

Quentin Adams has been in love with his best friend for years. And although their happily ever after happens only in his dreams, heโ€™s not one to give up. For so long, he had been willing to do anything to make his dreams come true and never had he even thought about anyone else.

But everyone has a breaking point. And unfortunately, after seeing the love of his life with someone else, heโ€™s beginning to lose hope. Now, after years of waiting for impossible, heโ€™s ready to move on. Find someone else. Be happy. But while trying to do that, he starts to realize that itโ€™s harder than it sounds.

Later he finds himself trapped in a situation with an unexcepted stranger who might as well be what he never knew he needed. Itโ€™s now up to Quentin himself if heโ€™s ready to take a risk and get his heart broken again.


#232

8/10

itโ€™s well written and now i have many questions about the story so thatโ€™s probably a good thingโ€ฆ makes the story sound interesting, although iโ€™m not sure i like the first sentence of the last paragraph - could maybe reword it to make it sound slightly nicer??

Burning Blue

Itโ€™s hard enough growing up. Add being one-fifth of the world-famous pop-punk band Burning Blue, some secrets no one should have to keep, and a lot of angry teenage girls? Itโ€™s a recipe for disaster.

Josh has a romance to die for. Tom needs to separate his past from his future. Ari is battling against his own mind. Ross canโ€™t decide between himself and his friends. Sam doesnโ€™t know what potential he has.

No one knows whatโ€™s in store for them as they move from being teen idols to adult musicians. Itโ€™s a scary world out there, and you know what they say: anything that can go wrong will go wrong.


#233

8/10. Itโ€™s a good summary. I do feel that the second sentence is really long.

The Playwrightโ€™s Prince
High school sophomore Sam Tucker is the embodiment of a bad boy - and bad boys donโ€™t join drama club! So despite having a secret soft spot for theatre, Sam settles on creating real-life drama wherever he goes. One day it might be a catfight between two girls heโ€™s dating, while another it might be a crazy prank.

When a late arrival to history class lands Sam in detention, he crosses paths with fellow student and aspiring playwright Luke Emerson. Lukeโ€™s been searching for the perfect muse for his play, and Sam is exactly what heโ€™s looking for. But thereโ€™s a problem: Sam has serious stage fright.


#234

6/10
The first paragraph is very cliche, overused, and typical to the bad boy theme. I liked the second paragraph much more and it sounded very cute. Iโ€™d focus on that budding relationship over the bad boy trope.


Mirror Me (Book 1)
Living in a home where mirrors are forbidden and a glance in one could bring disaster, Hope Martinez has found her life to be filled with questions. Struggling to survive as a Latina in South Texas, Hope never believed her family was anything special that is until her familyโ€™s mysterious power awakes within her. For three long years she has promised her mother to avoid mirrors fearful of the consequences. Now at sixteen, Hope learns there is a beautiful place waiting for her beyond the mirror; one filled with singing flowers, living dresses, dancing pigs, and wonderful magic. Why would such a beautiful place be hidden from her? One reason, Hope has a terrible destiny. She is to destroy the world.


#235

9/10 I am very interested in this and how you are going to play this out!

โ€œSometimes, people are just in your life for a fleeting moment, for temporary happiness.โ€

Clover Dahlia was the shy girl who never wanted anyone to figure out who she truly was. She just wanted to get through high school and move away from the town that held all her horrible memories. She was someone Arsen Hopkins would have never thought about once due to their contrasting personalities.

It began when Mr. Hood paired them up for a class project but as their lives start to unravel before them, they might just realize that judging a book by its cover might not be a bad thing.


#236

You used wanted twice on the first line. It was kind of jarring. It has some potential but when I read it out loud itโ€™s clunky. 6.5/10

Here is mine. I need help with the first part.

Nicole Luna used to be normal, before โ€˜heโ€™ began to sexually abuse and exploit her. That was years ago, and although sheโ€™s convinced herself she doesnโ€™t need help, the pain hasnโ€™t faded and โ€˜heโ€™ still haunts her dreams.

After being placed at Meadowbrooke, a brand new long term care facility and school. Nicole has one last chance to escape her past. But how can you confront your nemesis when it looks back at you in the mirror?


#237

Iโ€™d give this one a 7.5 out of 10; the intensity of the words is striking, and the way you structured you sentences has a good flow. But (and this might just be me), Iโ€™m kind of confused about the whole โ€œheโ€ and the mirror thing; you could specify a bit more there.
Mine:His eyes smolder out of the darkness as he stalks towards me. I can feel my breathing speeding up and have no choice but to back away, until we are dancing in a deadly dance, him the predator, me the prey. I feel the wall against my back and know Iโ€™ve lost as his arms move forward, caging me between them. โ€œI donโ€™t know you,โ€ James whispers. His long fingers are impossibly light as they tip my face upward. โ€œWho are you, Annalin Brown? Because you donโ€™t belong here.โ€

Annalin doesnโ€™t remember. She doesnโ€™t know how she woke up in Johnson Manor as a common maid for a dangerous, ruthless family of business, but knows one thing; she certainly didnโ€™t start here. So why does everyone act like this is where she belongs ?
Wellโ€ฆalmost everyone.
Flashes of her life blink in front her eyes as Annalin struggles to untangle her past, and find out where she came from, while wrestling with the one boy who may see through her illusion. One slip, one sign that she is anything but a meek housemaid, and the Johnsons will not spare her. She is dispensable, a pawn in a game, and to keep from being taken, she must hold her walls firmly up while teasing out the answers to her past.
Kind of long thoโ€ฆ :smile:


#238

He was her abuser and sheโ€™s her own worst enemy. Most of the conflict is internal. I hope that helps. She almost never names her abuser although once you start itโ€™s fairly obvious who it was, and simply calls himโ€ฆ well him or he.


#239

7.5 out of 10. Itโ€™s intriguing, it makes me actually curious about the MCโ€™s past too and how come she landed in this situation and what the story will uncover. It makes me feel like I would go into a adventure to unveil the truths together with the MC, which seems fun.
HOWEVER one thing I am not much a fan of, and that may be personal taste, is having an excerpt of your story in the summary. Itโ€™s a good one, but for me excerpts are hard to grab my attention, because I wanna know what the story is about, not already read part of it. But as I said, personal taste. Maybe if you wanna keep it I would put the snipped after the actual summary, so ppl who see the story first see the actual summary. The excerpt also makes more sense after knowing a bit what the story is about.

Hereโ€™s mine:

๐˜ ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜’๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ต, ๐˜ฃ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ. ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜บ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฑ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ๐˜ด ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฎ. ๐˜ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ? ๐˜“๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ๐˜ธ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ฅ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต. ๐˜ˆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ๐˜ด ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ค๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ข ๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ๐˜ฑ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ต, ๐˜ ๐˜ข๐˜ญ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ซ๐˜ถ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฑ ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ. ๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฆ ๐˜ด๐˜ค๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฐ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ ๐˜จ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ถ๐˜ข๐˜ต๐˜ช๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ ๐˜ข ๐˜ฃ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ธ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ, โ€ฆ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ด๐˜ต ๐˜ค๐˜ข๐˜ด๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ญ ๐˜ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ด๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ท๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด. ๐˜‰๐˜ถ๐˜ต ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜จ๐˜ฐ๐˜ต ๐˜ข๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต ๐˜ฐ๐˜ง ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ช๐˜ค๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ด ๐˜ต๐˜ฐ ๐˜ช๐˜ต ๐˜ช๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ต ๐˜ ๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ๐˜ฏโ€™๐˜ต ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฆ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ต๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ญ๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ข๐˜ด ๐˜ ๐˜ค๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ญ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฆ ๐˜ฃ๐˜บ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ด๐˜ช๐˜ฅ๐˜ฆ.

โ–ทThis story is the tale about different hardships in matters of love, bullying, friendship and sexuality of teenage kids living in Bradford. They are all somehow in some way linked to each other, โ€ฆjust without knowing it yet. This particularly story is about the life of a girl named Chiantey, her college time in the UK, the struggle of finding herself and where she belongs, and of course her very first love Kayeโ€ฆwhich turns out more complicated than what she ever anticipated her first love to be.โ—


#240

aaaah ok


#241

8 out of 10. Your writing style is very unique, and I really love it. However, I am a bit confused as to the different perspectives. The first paragraph is in first person, yet the second paragraph is a narration/third person view. Itโ€™s confusing because I canโ€™t tell whether or not the first paragraph is an excerpt or not. But when I read your critique on the other personโ€™s summary, you said you didnโ€™t like excerpts. It just confused me, but my suggestion would be to change the first paragraph into third person, just to make it a little more clear that itโ€™s a summary and not an excerpt, and it also will flow better into your second paragraph. But iโ€™m just a random stranger on the internet, and Iโ€™m by no means perfect, so honestly do what you think will fit your story best. But I do want to say that I love the moth analogy, it made me laugh. (In a good, relatable way)

Hereโ€™s mine:

Yours Truly, Ramona

Ramona and her little brother were supposed to stick together. That was the promise that theyโ€™ve stuck to their entire lives. From corrupt foster homes to even more corrupt foster parents, itโ€™s always been Ramona and little eight-year-old Mason, the two kids that stick together like glue.

But, unfortunately, life doesnโ€™t abide by the rules of a child, and the very people Ramona instilled even the slightest bit of trust in found a way to betray her.

People like Owen Parker, the doctor Ramona trusted to treat her little brotherโ€™s sprained wrist last year.

But Owen Parker had other plans, and one year later heโ€™s managed to dig his way back into Ramona and Masonโ€™s lives, only to separate the two of them and send Ramonaโ€™s entire world into a downwards spiral of hatred, betrayal, and a hell of a lot of drugs.

Brotherless, parentless, and alone in the city of Portland, Ramona has to find a way to cope, and she has to find a way to forgive the man who took her little boy from her.

But Ramona canโ€™t cope, she canโ€™t forgive, and she can only bend so many times before she breaks.


#242

Thanks so much for the little review! โ™ช I know what you mean about it getting confused for an excerpt, Iโ€™ve been struggling with this a bit. But I wanted it to be kind of like my MC telling the reader about her story in the first paragraph. Breaking the fourth wall in a sense. Maybe Iโ€™ll figure out a way to make it more clear.


#243

I donโ€™t really know if it is any good, but i would love to know yaโ€™ll opinion on it so that i can improve.

In a world where we know everything about everyone even from miles away, is it possible that you feel so out of reachโ€ฆ

When reality is mixed with a dream whatโ€™s the outcome? Should a dream stay just a dream or are they meant to teach us to look at things in a different way?


#244

Try this

In a world where we know everything about everyone even from miles away, why is it possible you feel so out of touch?

Whatโ€™s the outcome when dreams and reality mix?


#245

Thank you so much. That truly sounds so much better than mine.


#246

Glad I could help. Obviously you can use and abuse it. If youโ€™re in doubt about a sentence, read it out loud so you can hear it.

:+1:


#247

Really appreciate it. It sounds so much better. I like it a lot. Thank you for your advice. it helped me loads.