8/10 Your story sounds interesting. Although, the summary felt a little long. I feel you could probably shorten it a little.
7/10 You have an intriguing summary, but I think you should get rid of the 1st sentence. It seems out of place. After reading the 1st sentence, I thought the story would be about suicide. But it seems like the story is about someone going after Scarlet.
The Element of Life
I was hoping buying a new Jeep for my seventeenth birthday would be the start to a great year. Things were looking up until I caught my ex-boyfriend Elliot cheating on me at Prom. It didn’t help that I was already facing an eating disorder and trying to overcome the fact that my father left us when I was younger. Thankfully I had my best friend Regina with me at my side.
Life changed that fateful day when I noticed a strange light in the park. My poor judgment told me to visit the park and I did. Little did I know that touching that light would give me a power. An element if you will. I had the power to bring things back to life. This new power completely changed my life. I wasn’t sure if I could trust anyone with my new power.
At best my secret was probably safe with Regina. But Elliot was a different story. In fact, he was already out to make my life miserable. There would be no telling what Elliot would do if he ever knew the truth. The fate of the world was in my hands.