Get your Teen Fiction summary rated!


#63

Thank you for the feedback! I was definitely apprehensive a little about the blurb.


#64

There are some minor misspelling and grammatical mistakes but, overall, I liked your blurb. The story seems interesting too :slight_smile:

My title: Lie To Me
My blurb:
Raven’s many talents have elevated her to a position of prestige far above that of the common criminal. But when she is embroiled in a plot to take down one of the most powerful men in the world, she finds that she may be in deeper than she can swim.

Kieran’s sharp mind and formidable influence are a deadly combination, and they have brought him far. But with power comes enemies, and even Kieran is, when it comes down to it, just a man.

Aidan is the fire to Kieran’s ice, the hotheadedness to his brother’s cool intellect, and the amalgam of their differences has proved nothing short of lethal. But then two young women enter the brothers’ lives, and Aidan is forced to reevaluate everything he thought he knew about Kieran and the hard-won empire that he has created.


#65

Thank you for your reply, but could you be a little more specific with what I should fix.


#66

*gets hacked, Lily must

*before, as well as

*pining

this is probably just an oversight but *join

Hope I helped! :slight_smile:


#67

7/10. I liked your blurb enough that I would probably try reading the first chapter. It definitely caught my interest, but I found it a little confusing. You introduce a lot of character information without giving much idea of the plot–maybe consider simplifying it to focus on a clearer character or conflict. I especially was confused by “the two young women” who enter the brothers’ lives. Is one of them Raven? Or two other characters? You don’t have to give away your entire plot in the summary, but I like blurbs that let me know what type of read to expect, whether it is a rivalry or a romance or action, etc. Your story seems interesting though :slight_smile:

Title: The Stand Off

Blurb:

If winning isn’t everything, why bother keeping score?

For Bailey, the only thing worse than moving her senior year of high school was finding out that her new school doesn’t have a rugby team. But Bailey’s not about to let a small detail like that stop her from dominating the sports field. When she tries out for football, quarterback Tucker will stop at nothing to keep her from ruining his team.

When two rivals stand off, winner takes all. Good thing Bailey’s never been afraid of a challenge.


#68

Thanks for your thoughts, I will keep them in mind :relaxed:


#69

I really enjoyed this summary. I get a strong sense of the main character’s personality already. You’ve lined up the conflict very nicely as well.

9/10

Eleutheromaniac

Eleutheromania
(n.) an intense and irresistible desire for freedom.

When her parents break another one of their no-good promises, Elizabeth Blackwell decides to runaway from the five star resort she’s staying at for the summer. A spontaneous road trip with an unconventional waiter is set into motion and Elizabeth is faced with things she’s never had to experience before. What was first thought to be a get away from her over-controlling parents turns into an adventure of a lifetime - one where Elizabeth comes to realize just how much of an eleutheromaniac she really is.


#70

Loved it. Amazing way to start a summary and somehow you turned an overused plot (roadtrip) into something different, congrats. 9/10

THE HEARTBREAKER

“She belonged to no boy,
only to herself.”

Losing parents at sixteen is a baggage no teenager should ever have to carry but Amber White still did.

She had to grow up earlier than her classmates. One year later and she is already working on a part-time job, handling school and finding a way to sustain herself along the way.

But when her best friend’s heart is shattered, she decides to break the boy who did that to her.

Rumors spread fast and suddenly, Amber sees a way of gaining money for her university fund. Girls, from many schools, would actually pay her to avenge their broken hearts.

Everything is perfect until the bitchy queen bee from her school, Megan Waldorf, asks her to absolutely smash the golden’s boy heart.

The money is good but there’s only one problem.

Kyle Gray turns out to be the hardest boy she had ever needed to take down.


#71

It’s good and I really like the way you wrote the summary, not giving too much information but still making sure to awake the reader’s interest. But one little thing kinda annoyed me and that’s the fact that you write almost every sentence in a different line. You know what I mean? That’s really not a big thing but it was the first thing that got my attention. Overall, the summary was well written although I do think that the plot is kinda predictable, at least for me, and I don’t think many would be very shocked by the book (if you don’t put some very surprising plot twists in there). That’s why I’ll give it 8/10.

The Lies That We Tell

Quentin Adams has been in love with his best friend for years. And although their happily ever after happens only in his dreams, he’s not one to give up. For so long, he had been willing to do anything to make his dreams come true and never had he even thought about anyone else.

But everyone has a breaking point. And unfortunately, after seeing the love of his life with someone else, he’s beginning to lose hope. Now, after years of waiting for impossible, he’s ready to move on. Find someone else. Be happy. But while trying to do that, he starts to realize that it’s harder than it sounds.

Later he finds himself trapped in a situation with an unexcepted stranger who might as well be what he never knew he needed. It’s now up to Quentin himself if he’s ready to take a risk and get his heart broken again.


#72

6/10. It sounds a little cliche to me.

Adventures In Cosmotopia

It’s been 6 months since Katherine’s first visit to Cosmotopia, and she and her best friend Ellie are starting to get used to life in this new world, thanks to the help of their new friends, Alice and Edward.

Now that Katherine’s all settled into her new life, she wants to become an official witch. If she plans on becoming a witch, she’ll have to go through some pretty intense training, including taming magic animals, brewing potions, and even fighting battles. And lucky for her, she’s got her buddy Alice by her side, helping her every step of the way.

But Katherine soon began to realize that witch training is much harder than she thought.


#73

(I feel stupid for not noticing that I had just written here my summary just a day ago but oh well)

First of all, the summary sounds more like a fantasy book instead of teenage fiction. That’s why I’m a bit confused why it’s genre is teen fiction instead of fantasy…? And the summary kinda gives me a sequel vibe because it sounds like it’s continuing from the previous book. I don’t know, I might be wrong. If that’s the case, I do somehow understand why you tell so little information about the book and the plot. If not, I wish you could have told more about the new world etc. but at least the reader gets the main point: Katherine wants to become an official witch.

I don’t know if my explanation makes any sense but I’ll give it 7/10. But if that’s not sequel to anything, I would recommend giving a little bit more information in the summary.

The Lies That We Tell

Quentin Adams has been in love with his best friend for years. And although their happily ever after happens only in his dreams, he’s not one to give up. For so long, he had been willing to do anything to make his dreams come true and never had he even thought about anyone else.

But everyone has a breaking point. And unfortunately, after seeing the love of his life with someone else, he’s beginning to lose hope. Now, after years of waiting for impossible, he’s ready to move on. Find someone else. Be happy. But while trying to do that, he starts to realize that it’s harder than it sounds.

Later he finds himself trapped in a situation with an unexcepted stranger who might as well be what he never knew he needed. It’s now up to Quentin himself if he’s ready to take a risk and get his heart broken again.


#74

@emliarad
8/10 I really liked your summary! It gives away just enough information to get the person hooked and wanting to read more. I think some of the sentences could be rephrased such as:
never had he even thought about anyone else.
Later he finds himself trapped in a situation with an unexcepted stranger who might as well be what he never knew he needed

But overall I really liked your summary and it is definitely a problem that many teens can relate to.

This is mine.
Book Title: My Second Chance

What if you were given a second chance at life? What if you could change key moments that you’ve regretted your whole life? What if you could right every wrong? Or well most of them anyway.

Meet Victoria Block. The girl who was about to do it.


#75

9/10. I want to know more about Victoria, or maybe why her life needs changing. Just a little crumb so that I feel more inclined to open the book. But I am intrigued as I imagine how I’d do my life differently all the time.

Here’s mine: book is called Dead Roses. I am fully aware this needs work and rewording. I’d love any helpful pointers. (New writer :wave:t2:) Thank you.

Indigo McCoy is finally settling in to her new normal life with the newest set of foster parents. She adores the small town thrift stores, made lots of friends and is even falling for the mysteriously hard to get Felix. But living in a dead girls shadow is proving to be more than she asked for.


#76

7/10. It’s quite the short blurb, I was quite thrown off a bit by the unexpected “dead girls shadow” twist. It sounds interesting.

Here’s mine for “Mistress Honeycomb And The Bad Gentlemen’s Club” (yes, I know, long title): "Crossburrow Academy seems like your typical school with the usual clubs.

But, there’s a rather special club located in the school. The G.E.N.T.L.E.M.E.N’s Club. It’s abbreviated because there are 9 members whose first names each make up G.E.N.T.L.E.M.E.N.

And due to an accidental fight that happened at the school, Bartleby Honeycomb has to work with the club. Or rather, make them turn into better people.

But with this comes secrets, laughs, rules, romance, and drama.

How will the Honeycomb handle the swarm of bees that is the G.E.N.T.L.E.M.E.N’s Club?"


#77

OMG THIS IS ACTUALLY SUCH A NICE IDEA AND I WOULD TOTALLY READ IT BASED ON YOUR BLURB 8/10

My book

Finding Franco Chavez
For hot headed Franco Chavez he feels as though he’s in black and white, while the rest of the world is in colour. He can’t be apart of that joy, no matter how much he would want to. While being seen as a tempered outcast, with joy sucked out of his body and the weight of the world on his shoulders, he sees life as if he was only born to die. Sitting on the sidelines, he watches the world with sad eyes feeling nothing but emptiness.

“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be, and it may not be easy, but it will be worth it.”


#78

5/10 You’ve done a good job showcasing who Franco is in your blurb. That said, I’m a little lost as to what the actual plot is. I assume he wants to live a more fulfilled life, but I don’t really know what actions he’s going to take to get there. If you could flesh out what he is going to do to become a more complete person, this would be a much stronger blurb. You’ve got a good character to work with, there could just be a little more information.

LA Ex

Three years ago, teen queen Addison Cass was sauntering down the red carpet with Hollywood heartthrob Finn Gallagher. At sixteen, she seemed fated for superstardom, but after ditching her good girl persona, she’s gone from A-List to blacklist.

Two stints in rehab, a flameout with her network, and a series of progressively terrible hairstyle choices, and it’s all Addy can do to book a gig.

When an indie filmmaker offers her a leading role and a chance at critical acclaim, Addy knows it’s her last shot at fame. The catch? Addy’s jumping into her most reckless publicity stunt yet: dating her fellow co-star and former beau, Finn.

Nothing says love like a little public manipulation.


#79

Thank you, this was actually very helpful!


#80

The title – super clever. I think your summary is pretty strong and displays the conflict well. The only issue I had was trying to digest the second little paragraph. I read it a few times and feel like I’m still struggling to understand it. It almost feels like it’s missing something. Besides that, I think you’ve got something great going on here.

9/10.

His Last Hope

Final exams are only months away when Calista Hale is told news that no senior in high school wants to hear; she’s being held back from graduating. The only way for her to receive that rolled up piece of parchment at the end of July lies in Lincoln Pierce. A master of deceit and skipping class, Lincoln is sure to give Cali a run for her diploma.

But as it turns out, she may be his last hope.


#81

I like it. You write well and the way you wrote the summary it’s very good, the only problem is, I find it too cliche. Obviously, sounds like a bad boy, good girl story with a little twist. For what I understood, he will need to teach her, is that it? (If not, my bad.) Trying make your story stand out more but overall, the summary is really well written. 8/10

Kisses and Hookups

After a tragic breakup, Adriana Phillips decided to become a player. She didn’t believe in true love anymore and surely her dream wasn’t becoming a cute lovable girl again.

In university, she planned to enjoy pretty much of everything. Parties, one-night stands and having fun were a part of her plan. Adriana wanted to be free, single and most of all happy.

However, meaningful kisses and falling in love all with one of her hookups wasn’t in her plans.

Maybe her heart will heal and learn how to love for the second time or maybe it will end up with a bullet right through it, being broken all over again.

After all, love is a losing game.


#82

I think it could be punchier – I want to break down some examples –

Particularly - “In university, she planned to enjoy pretty much of everything. Parties, one-night stands and having fun were a part of her plan. Adriana wanted to be free, single and most of all happy.” You use “plan” three times, which in a blurb, I try to avoid repeating any major words.

"In university, she planned to enjoy everything–parties, one-night stands, having fun, maybe a little too much. Adriana wanted to be single, free, and most of all be happy.

Falling in love with one of her hookups wasn’t part of that plan."

I think repeating “plan” once works, because it shows the immediacy of her mistake, and sets up the book for what the core drama is going to be about. I also removed some words that bogged down the drama.

5/10 as stands, but the concept is a good romance, so I think if you rework the blurb a bit, it can be brought up!


Carter Ortese is Trouble

Everyone knows Carter Ortese, or Carter “Oh Tease” as some girls call him.
Everyone knows Carter Ortese’s dad died at seventeen after getting his mom pregnant.
Everyone knows Carter Ortese is trouble.

Which is why, during a school lunch in the spring, it makes no sense that Emma Williams, the girl who has everything going for her, would sit across across from him in the cafeteria and ask him out on a date. Realizing that she’s asking on a dare, Carter says yes. Even though Emma assumed Carter would reject her, she’s not one to back down now.

No one knows why Emma actually goes on the date.
No one knows why Emma goes on a second date.
Emma realizes: No one knows the real Carter Ortese.