☠️Hell's Critiques (Always Open 50% & hell 50% friendship)

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#7275

Haha, I gotta start those idea now XD


#7276

Body language is fine but you put too much of it I feel. Even when it came to the point where you were like he’s Mexican and you went into detail about that. Stop going into detail about everything


#7277

I can barely concentrate I’m exhausted and I’m doing my best. I just came across it like I read your story and it it’s okay but my brains not working.


#7278

Ye I know I’m gonna have to cut off that scene. I think just that scene though and maybe shorten the mom scene in that chapter and leave the dinner scene.


#7279

See you’re figuring it out yourself. Some things are okay like I think the dinner seems nice


#7280

I get it :heart: But if you were tired, you know you can push my story back Abby


#7281

I love the ending. Suspense XD


#7282

I also might have some things cut for chapter 2, but I actually like all the scenes so far :eyes:


#7283

I just want to get everything done so tomorrow I can just have a day to relax. I really didn’t think anything of your story like to be honest I think it’s good but once again just like chapter 2 it just has too much detail. Like I didn’t think about the detail until I was like sitting down and I was like actually it does. Like you put too much detail about everything and like every little thing as detail. You don’t have to do that like you don’t have to put that he’s Mexican or that his mother is Mexican. Like I understand why you put things with her like about her therapist in her opening up and getting better. But some things you just don’t need


#7284

I felt the editing part of chapter two is better than the other part of chapter 2. The part that you ended it I liked it still kind of a lot of detail but at the end of the day it’s better than it was


#7285

hey everybody I’m going to go take a quick nap I’ll be back in like 2 hours I’m exhausted. And though I love reviewing I think it finally took a toll on me plus my insomnia. So when I get back I will relook over @AverySummers your chapters. And then I will finish all my reviews for tonight. Please be patient with me


#7286

You do you girl


#7287

Ye, but I get it with the repeated lines.


#7288

Abby if you want I can re-edit 2&3 and then you can review it Tuesday or Thursday I believe. But take your time, sleep comes first. :heart:


#7290

Yeah. You should get some rest. I can imagine that having to read, analyse and form an opinion of so many different books would be quite taxing after a while.


#7291

Seeing as my ideas on post #7266 got the responses “Damn” and “Woah” I’ll assume those are good things ;D XD


#7292

Yes it is :joy:


#7293

Haha. Well that’s good then! I didn’t think my random ideas would interesting. XD


#7294

Okay Go relook at your review i added some stuff to it @AverySummers your story and ideas are good but you expalin everything everyone does. Cut that out because that takes away from the story


#7295

No worries: please stay healthy and don’t run yourself ragged…