Help a mate out with a plot | Brainstorm With Me

Now that I have your attention with the saddest scene in Disney history, I’m having some problems with this new sci-fi series I’m cooking up that I need help with.

I’ve got my characters, I’m building the world as I go (because it feels like a much faster process after spending 13 months building a fantasy world, I don’t have the time or patience to go through all that for a sci-fi universe), and I’ve got the main objective plot going.

My problem is that it’s more the everything in between plot and some fairly big plot points that I need help nutting out. And to make sure that my series isn’t replicating other big sci-fi properties because, at the moment, that’s the biggest problem.

So here’s the logline:

After losing his friend to the hands of the autocratic galactic empire and his home destroyed, a street rat is thrown into a rebellion and teams up with a pirate and a mercenary to rescue his friend and bring the downfall to the empire.

Ask questions so we can brainstorm :joy:

The only thing I can say about the logline is that if you replaced “street rat” with “farm boy,” it’s the same logline as the first Star Wars.

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That’s the problem.

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If you could supply more details about certain things that would be helpful.
Like details about:

  • The MC and his backstory (age, the home that was destroyed, the friend he’s trying to rescue)
  • The pirate and mercenary (how he meets them, how long it takes to meet them after the destruction of his home, etc.)
  • The empire (is it like the one in Star Wars? Is it a completely different system? Who’s the leader?)
  • The goal, bringing down the empire (how does he think he can do this? What’s his plan?)

'Ello, love :joy: :kissing_heart:

The MC is Hero Valente, a 19-year-old born on the moon of Kamara circling the planet of Hiphus who grew up in the lower level slums of The Skids of the poverty-stricken city of Bright with his mother and older brother Harrison. His father, a pipework labourer, disappeared when Hero was thirteen, leaving Harrison to be the man of the household. Hero began working as a Scrapper on his fourteenth birthday while Harrison followed his father into the pipe works, both working to support their mentally ill mother suffering. Harrison was eventually conscripted into the rebellion, leaving Hero to look after his mother alone, which got harder when they received word of Harrison’s death. Hero is also gay (because we gotta spice up da story with a cute ass ship :joy:)

The friend he is trying to save Jack Ryder. The two had a relationship once upon a time. Jack was born in the city of Verona on the planet of Avalon where he lived an extravagant life of money and parties, a lifestyle proudly funded by his parents. Upon discovering his sexuality when he was a teenager, Jack openly pursued men, his parents weren’t accepting of it. Rather, his farther condemned him and cut him off completely. Unhappy with his life, Jack packed up and moved to Bright, lying and sleeping his way to the Sun Sprawl (the higher levels of Bright). When he was caught by the wife of a powerful diplomat he was sleeping with, Jack was chased down a chute leading directly to the Skids where he met Hero who looked out for him.

Somewhere down the line, Jack pulled a Kylo Ren (yes, I know, Star Wars, but it’s the easiest way to describe it) and joined the bad guys as their kind of hired gun.

The pirate’s name is Dodge who flies the ship Montresor and the mercenary’s name is Ridley. I haven’t really figured out how they meet yet. Either they help him escape the collapse of Bright or he gets rescued, gets taken to the rebels and meets them there.

I dunno how to answer these because it links with the main problem of this series: it’s too much like Star Wars, which is absolutely not what I want. I think the two MCs and their journey is very different to SW and—despite the trio being a trio like in SW—my trio has a different dynamic. But there are some issues with originality going on here :sweat_smile: :grimacing:

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For the moment, I see a few similarities with Star Wars but you can still change a few things to make sure it’s not too similar. Just make the empire really different, make the personalities different, make the planets different, invent new species, etc.
Of course you could go a completely different way and make it quite obviously based on Star Wars with lots of references and nods to the movies.

Otherwise for brainstorming, the main problem seems to be the empire, so do you want ideas for that?

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Yeah, the empire is the problem. And the plot, but planning first :sweat_smile:

How about instead of one emperor (like Palpatine) you could have some sort of council, triumvirate, or something else of emperors? Or even make it something not really like an empire but with lots of people and it’s democratic. (Although they all want to rule or whatever their goal is)

I have this idea of three people so i can sort of play on a rule of three or something. But, yeah, I think like a dark trio that is opposite the light trio could be interesting.

I’m writing a progressive story titled True friendships that never end

I…might have an experimental idea that could help you work through this. But I can’t guarantee anything. It might not work. Like I said, it’s experimental…

Hit me with it

What are your three most favourite stories? Be it movie, tv show, books, games, plays, etc.

More Happy Then Not by Adam Silvera

The Dragon Age games

I kinda like Killjoys

You saying take bits of all those properties and Frankenstein it?

More-or-less.

Star Wars + More Happy Then Not

Star Wars + Dragon Age

Star wars + Killjoys

What does these hybrid stories look like to you?

I’m kinda already adding the LGBT+ elements of MHTN here with Hero and Jack. There’s a thing in this book where people can a sort of operation to get their bad memories removed, so I can definitely kinda snatch that.

That is one big ass world/universe :sweat_smile:
The main storyline for these games is one long adventure that’s kinda like a massive fetch quest, which this book kinda is in the subplot of Hero trying to rescue Jack, so there’s that.

These two are pretty much the same anyway.

I haven’t played Dragon Age. I only know a smidgeon of what Inquisition is about. Something to do with portals opening up or something. And the mc recruits a group of people to help on the quest.
Maybe there’s something in that you can use? The empire utilizing portals or wormholes or something? Bring in aliens or something? Are there aliens in your story?
Killjoys is about bounty hunters, right? Maybe there’s an organization of bounty hunters hunting down whatever’s coming out of those wormholes?
Or maybe you have other ideas?

The point is, the reason why your story seems similar to Star Wars is because you’re borrowing too much from the one story. However, if you borrow more elements from other stories you like and mix it into your story, it muddies the waters a bit. It doesn’t have to be three stories.
I think it also helps to understand what you like about these stories and why you like it. When you understand that, you can use it to write your current story.

I hoped this help :sweat_smile:

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Oh, I know that’s the main problem. My plan is mainly to get plot help. The rest of the holes I can fill in myself; that’s not too hard. But I can’t seem to come up with a decent plot other than a kid trying to save his boyfriend with a pirate and a mercenary. Then what? What happens? where is it going? Who are the enemy? Bruh, I dunno, bad dudes? :sweat_smile: